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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I've fucked up?

116 replies

meanderyes · 24/02/2023 16:37

I'm a student social worker. Today I was working with a service user who had no food or money to get food. Tried different resources but none available being a Friday afternoon. No opportunity of loan or advance etc.

I took them to the shop and spent about a tenner getting them the basics, milk, bread, butter, eggs etc.

However, now I'm thinking that was really unprofessional of me. It's not something I can do for everyone. I have informed my manager but she's now finished for the weekend.

Really worried I will get into trouble for this or struck off my placement? Will I? Or am I worrying over nothing?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 24/02/2023 16:38

I don’t know the actual answer, but I’m also unsure what on Earth you were supposed to do!

Gwen82 · 24/02/2023 16:40

It was not professional and you should not have done.

Your manager will explain this to you and should explain why.

But you should not the correct thing to have done from your training surely?

stephglows · 24/02/2023 16:41

You're worrying over nothing.You did what you had to as there was no alternative at the time. Keep your receipt you may be able to claim it back via petty cash. i'm an OT for the NHS and i would have done the same.

DorritLittle · 24/02/2023 16:41

You won’t be struck off. It is not gross misconduct.

Hendric · 24/02/2023 16:42

I am an adult social worker.

I, and all my colleagues, have done this one time or another, usually multiple times. It's generally considered a bad idea but we are only human and you will not get into any significant trouble for this.

You should try and get reimbursed (to keep it professional).

ednatheevilwitch · 24/02/2023 16:42

You're a student and not supposed to have all the answers. I would use the experience to write a really through reflective piece about why you did what you did and what you have learnt from it.

Pastapizzalover · 24/02/2023 16:43

I'm not sure that anyone here can answer this.

Can't you claim the money back? I'm sure that there must be a resource for service users with no food.

Bunnyishotandcross · 24/02/2023 16:43

You are human op. Surely you don't have to worry about that?

MrsRickAstley · 24/02/2023 16:44

What a lovely thing to have done. Hopefully you'll just get an explanation and a don't do it again. It must be difficult when you've exhausted other avenues and you're working closely with a family to not have sympathy and offer a solution. It's not like you spent a £100!

tatteddear · 24/02/2023 16:47

As a newly qualified social worker I did this a few times. It's not ideal due to boundaries etc but you know this.
I used to lessen that by telling the Person it was from a one off emergency fund so they didn't feel beholden or expect it all the time! No one found out but if they had I probably would have got a severe dressing down.
I'm 20 years more experienced now and I've learned that I can't help everyone like this and nor should I, as much as I might like to.
I know why you did it, and I know how awful it is to think of the person hungry and especially over a weekend. It sounds awful but you have to develop a bit of an immunity to doing this kind of thing, counter intuitive as that is.

Therellbenobutterinhell123 · 24/02/2023 16:47

You'll be fine. Just make sure it's recorded on the system and your reasons why.

Hendric · 24/02/2023 16:47

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 24/02/2023 16:38

I don’t know the actual answer, but I’m also unsure what on Earth you were supposed to do!

I have been a social worker for many years.

Neither do I. Which is why I would have done exactly what OP did.

jenny38 · 24/02/2023 16:48

You won't get kicked off your placement. But your supervisor/ practice teacher will talk it through with you. Depending if yours is a statutory placement, there should be a duty system in place, for you to seek advice. Don't worry, you won't get kicked off your course, but all this is a learning curve. Boundaries need to be held for good reason, you don't want anyone to say, she gave me x but expected me to do y for her etc. Under no circumstances should you ever give a service user your personal phone number etc

Astrak · 24/02/2023 16:49

Keep the receipts. Speak to your supervisor as soon as possible. Work out budgeting with client. Think of cheap meals with them. Plan food bank visits for client. Meanwhile, don't panic.

Snoopystick · 24/02/2023 16:51

I work in social care, and if you have a good placement manager they should be discussing how it made you feel etc to be in this position, not bollock you. We need more compassion in difficult circumstances, not less. Well done x

CPL593H · 24/02/2023 16:52

I think most of us who work/ed frontline have done it, because sometimes it is the only practical solution to a pressing issue (which as you've discovered almost invariably occurs on a Friday afternoon)

You've done right in reporting it straight away, make a note of the whole thing including the resources you tried to access while it is still fresh in your mind and enjoy your weekend.

AnotherSpare · 24/02/2023 16:53

I don't know what the rules are regarding your job. But regardless of that, you did the decent, moral, human thing. That person will eat over the weekend because of you when they otherwise would have gone hungry. You are right that you can't do it for everyone, but you could do it for that person at that time.
Well done for being a wonderful person! I hope you don't get any flack from your manager.

Shesinthegym · 24/02/2023 16:53

Children’s social worker here (for longer than I care to remember) it’s not ideal. It blurs the boundaries of your relationship. It also sets you up for being taken advantage of. However it was one of those things. I’d be lying if I said I’d never spent my own money on a service user. Never more than a couple of quod mins you.
you won’t get struck off but you will be asked to reflect and learn from this.
Don’t beat yourself up about it, it will be absolutely fine. You are not in trouble.
You will make many errors and snap decisions which are perhaps not the best on reflection during your carer because your a human being.
Just an fyi there will probably be food banks open at weekends or churches that offer meals gather a list of resources when you get chance and you can also go to another manager to ask for funds to be signed off if yours is unavailable. If yours if off there should be another manger covering for such eventualities so have a look at how this works in your service next week. Also you can go to a more senior social worker who can support if you can’t find out who’s covering. Try see if there is a group chat for your team. You can ask on there. I still do even after all these years. Il ask where I can get food etc at short notice as services are always changing and colleagues may have used one recently you haven’t heard of.
At the end of the day this is why you do the training. Keep going it will be worth it.

Original poster
meanderyes · 24/02/2023 16:55

It's okay, my manager phoned me for a catch up. I told her and she said nothing to worry about, not to do it again as I can't afford it but also that all social workers have done it at one point or another.

OP posts:
Original poster
meanderyes · 24/02/2023 16:56

ednatheevilwitch · 24/02/2023 16:42

You're a student and not supposed to have all the answers. I would use the experience to write a really through reflective piece about why you did what you did and what you have learnt from it.

That's a great idea, I'm going to

OP posts:
Hendric · 24/02/2023 16:56

meanderyes · 24/02/2023 16:55

It's okay, my manager phoned me for a catch up. I told her and she said nothing to worry about, not to do it again as I can't afford it but also that all social workers have done it at one point or another.

Aww I'm really please. I remember being a student and NQSW and sweating this kind of stuff. Happy you can enjoy the weekend.

waterrat · 24/02/2023 16:57

Hey Op. I work with vulnerable people - I've done this myself many times and also often tormented myself about it after! - I've been doing this 25 years now so I've been present at a fair few crisis situations - I have to be honest I did it more when I was young and as I've got older I far more clearly see the pitfalls and have stronger boundaries

BUT - also tbh I was also just more compassionate and open hearted when life had not ground me down so much!

You are just learning - these situations arise - we are human beings aren't we?

Howmanysleepsnow · 24/02/2023 17:00

Yes, it was unprofessional and could mean you have to work harder to regain the professional relationship. Yes, it can create dependency. Yes, it leaves you open to allegations.

But it also shows you have 100% made the right career choice. You are caring, empathetic and willing to go above and beyond.
I’ve heard similar stories at interview from candidates (related field) and have given each and every one the job…. And had a discussion about boundaries and how and when to seek advice/support from colleagues on induction.

You did a good thing. Don’t worry!

Isthisexpected · 24/02/2023 17:00

I'm in a similar profession and have some done similar in extreme cases. It's not ideal but as your manager says you can reflect on it but also sleep soundly that you're a caring human and it is almost always best to err on the side of compassion if there's no one to check with at the time.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 24/02/2023 17:01

Well, you've crossed a professional boundary but you've done it for all the right reasons and you've realised quickly by yourself that it probably wasn't the best idea. I imagine you'll just get told that you shouldn't really be doing this.

Great suggestion to write a reflective piece about this. Part of your role is learning to accept and live with the fact that you won't necessarily be able to fix everything for everyone, and that's really hard but you're not expected to have all the answers.

It sounds like you 're really caring and compassionate. You'll make a great social worker, I'm sure. Flowers