Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I've fucked up?

116 replies

meanderyes · 24/02/2023 16:37

I'm a student social worker. Today I was working with a service user who had no food or money to get food. Tried different resources but none available being a Friday afternoon. No opportunity of loan or advance etc.

I took them to the shop and spent about a tenner getting them the basics, milk, bread, butter, eggs etc.

However, now I'm thinking that was really unprofessional of me. It's not something I can do for everyone. I have informed my manager but she's now finished for the weekend.

Really worried I will get into trouble for this or struck off my placement? Will I? Or am I worrying over nothing?

OP posts:
Eas1lyd1stracted · 24/02/2023 17:01

Glad your manager fed back to you.

Not sure the nature of your placement, but there should be a system for emergency assistance. I can see why you did it.

As others have said the best way to manage boundaries would to explain you would be following up the procedure for expenses so it didn't blur boundaries.

And you can make sure you understand the systems in place for next time, including who to contact if you're stuck on a late visit.

SeriouslyLTB · 24/02/2023 17:01

I know this is resolved so this is just a side note to say that was really lovely of you. x

CPL593H · 24/02/2023 17:01

Glad you've had reassurance from your manager OP. One tip for the future is to make sure you've got the out of hours duty number on you, so you've got the option to talk to a very experienced SW if you run in to a situation you're not sure about and it's got late.

Choconut · 24/02/2023 17:01

What a lovely social worker you sound like, I'm sure all your clients are very lucky to have you. Is it normal for student social workers to see people completely unsupervised though? To be honest that's what I'd be questioning.

MichelleScarn · 24/02/2023 17:02

ednatheevilwitch · 24/02/2023 16:42

You're a student and not supposed to have all the answers. I would use the experience to write a really through reflective piece about why you did what you did and what you have learnt from it.

Agree, the social workers I work alongside have had to do similar. As above definitely do a piece of reflection on it and how you would do differently in future.
Don't worry!

Perfect28 · 24/02/2023 17:03

You did a good thing.

Opal2022 · 24/02/2023 17:05

That was so so kind of you to do and I have no advice to give you about how it’s going to affect you professionally but it was a decent human thing to do. I don’t think you should feel bad now. I agree this cannot be a regular thing and you cannot continue that practice however the learning curve here is that now you know this situation can arise and will arise in the future and you can find out what the correct professional course of action is and devise a network of options. FWIW I would have done the same as you, I’ve always worked to my conscience where people are concerned even if I had to face consequences afterwards but I usually didn’t admit to what I’d done and viewed it as a personal thing outside of my job. Then I’d try to figure out how I could help within the scope of policy and best practices. I don’t work in that area anymore but I sometimes felt it was too black and white and I wasn’t prepared to let someone without something crucial/urgent because of ‘the rules’.

GreenIsle · 24/02/2023 17:06

Hi op

I'm a social worker and have had to do this a few times if the service user did not tell me in advance of any issues with money or if I took them out for a coffee and chat. Just ensure you kept the receipt and your office should be able to reimburse you. Also inform you practice teacher or who is in charge of you.

I don't see at all how this is unprofessional, social workers are often thinking on their feet and there was no other option here was there. Don't worry just take advice about how your employer would manage this going forward. In my office it's nothing and done more than often.

Cosyblankets · 24/02/2023 17:06

You have a real heart. If you're doing a placement though should you not be accompanied? Guessing not because no one else has mentioned it

category12 · 24/02/2023 17:07

You did a good thing.

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 17:07

@meanderyes I understand your perspective, but humanly it was a very kind gesture you did.

Hendric · 24/02/2023 17:07

Cosyblankets · 24/02/2023 17:06

You have a real heart. If you're doing a placement though should you not be accompanied? Guessing not because no one else has mentioned it

It's not, student social workers have very long placements and by the end of them are supposed to be effectively the same as their practising colleagues.

Beaverbridge · 24/02/2023 17:11

You did a wonderful thing, good for you.

Zola1 · 24/02/2023 17:13

I'm a social worker and a prac Ed.. if one of my students did this, I'd tell them they need to speak to someone to get agreement first and have a chat about boundaries. But there is a budget for such emergencies and we've all needed to do it at one time or another. I had a mum and 2 little kids in emergency b&b, me and her 4 year old went to the shop on a Friday night to buy sweets plus bread, milk etc. We do these things sometimes.

Dominoeffecter · 24/02/2023 17:14

Glad you have a decent manager, we need compassionate people joining the overwhelmed social services, I understand why it’s not ideal but the ‘severe dressing downs’ mentioned by previous posters would be so inappropriate

Asterales · 24/02/2023 17:14

I'm glad your manager called you and you can enjoy your weekend without worrying. I'm a paramedic and have done similar things on occasion - yes, you shouldn't really do it, no, you can't do it for everyone, blah blah...but sometimes what choice do you have? Well done and best of luck with the rest of your placement.

Hendric · 24/02/2023 17:17

Shesinthegym · 24/02/2023 16:53

Children’s social worker here (for longer than I care to remember) it’s not ideal. It blurs the boundaries of your relationship. It also sets you up for being taken advantage of. However it was one of those things. I’d be lying if I said I’d never spent my own money on a service user. Never more than a couple of quod mins you.
you won’t get struck off but you will be asked to reflect and learn from this.
Don’t beat yourself up about it, it will be absolutely fine. You are not in trouble.
You will make many errors and snap decisions which are perhaps not the best on reflection during your carer because your a human being.
Just an fyi there will probably be food banks open at weekends or churches that offer meals gather a list of resources when you get chance and you can also go to another manager to ask for funds to be signed off if yours is unavailable. If yours if off there should be another manger covering for such eventualities so have a look at how this works in your service next week. Also you can go to a more senior social worker who can support if you can’t find out who’s covering. Try see if there is a group chat for your team. You can ask on there. I still do even after all these years. Il ask where I can get food etc at short notice as services are always changing and colleagues may have used one recently you haven’t heard of.
At the end of the day this is why you do the training. Keep going it will be worth it.

Where I work (very deprived area) there is fuck all after 3pm on a Friday. Its a nightmare.

Rellywobble · 24/02/2023 17:19

Am really glad your practice SW got back to you. Can really understand why you did it …it’s called humanity! Enjoy your weekend and relax 💕💐

Rellywobble · 24/02/2023 17:20

Asterales · 24/02/2023 17:14

I'm glad your manager called you and you can enjoy your weekend without worrying. I'm a paramedic and have done similar things on occasion - yes, you shouldn't really do it, no, you can't do it for everyone, blah blah...but sometimes what choice do you have? Well done and best of luck with the rest of your placement.

What a lovely post X

WillowBeeT · 24/02/2023 17:21

meanderyes · 24/02/2023 16:55

It's okay, my manager phoned me for a catch up. I told her and she said nothing to worry about, not to do it again as I can't afford it but also that all social workers have done it at one point or another.

Yay! I’m really pleased.
Don’t know what you do next time you’re in the same situation.
Maybe ask and find out how you’re meant to handle things like that when everything is closed.
Don’t do anything to damage your career, but so glad we have people like you who care out in the community.💐

Giggorata · 24/02/2023 17:22

Retired SW here, we've all done it.
And as in someone's inspired suggestion, you can reflect on a personal, professional and sociological level about this situation, in your placement diary or assignments, with your supervisor and Practice Educator.
Arming yourself with knowledge about emergency funds, charities and out of hours provision is the final step to be prepared for this situation, when it crops up again.
This is precisely the kind of learning experience that placements offer SW students, and helps them become reflective practitioners.
You sound as though you're going to be a wonderful SW!

CPL593H · 24/02/2023 17:24

Hendric · 24/02/2023 17:17

Where I work (very deprived area) there is fuck all after 3pm on a Friday. Its a nightmare.

Show quote history

Quite and it would be easier to take on Smaug for his treasure than try to access any LA funding in these circumstances. 30 years ago we could access the Sec 17 budget in these kind of situations but even then, actually getting the money late Friday would have been problematic logistically.

Crikeyalmighty · 24/02/2023 17:25

It may not be professional but we are all only human- I would have done the same

GlassBunion · 24/02/2023 17:27

You were acting as a compassionate human being.
Should there be any come back ( I doubt it) then use that as your defence.

We've had parents at our school , crying, as they have absolutely nothing.

That you acted , in a humanitarian manner , speaks volumes about how our 'welfare state' is failing so many, many people on so many levels.

And I thank you for your compassion.

ginswinger · 24/02/2023 17:31

My mum was a veteran housing officer and spent a considerable amount of her time trying to keep people in their houses and not kicked out for rent arrears. She told me about an elderly gent with dementia who she was picking up to go to court for arrears where she'd plead his case. He opened the door without anything on below the waist. So she pushed past him, got him some clothes, stood over him whilst he put them on and put him in the car. He evacuated his bowels a moment later so she returned him to the house and told him in no vague terms that he'd better shower and change because sure as eggs he wasn't getting evicted under her watch. His housing situation was preserved.

I think that sometimes you have to leave the rule book in a drawer and judge each case by its merits. You did a really good thing, someone won't starve this weekend. Be proud of yourself.