To think I've fucked up?

[meanderyes]

I'm a student social worker. Today I was working with a service user who had no food or money to get food. Tried different resources but none available being a Friday afternoon. No opportunity of loan or advance etc.

I took them to the shop and spent about a tenner getting them the basics, milk, bread, butter, eggs etc.

However, now I'm thinking that was really unprofessional of me. It's not something I can do for everyone. I have informed my manager but she's now finished for the weekend.

Really worried I will get into trouble for this or struck off my placement? Will I? Or am I worrying over nothing?

You sound like you care and I think I’d have done the same. Find out what you should do on a Friday when nobody can help?!! Your conscious is clear.

Just wanted to say that this is the loveliest thread - I’m not in social services, though I used to be on the council’s ASC phone line and some of the calls would break my heart, especially when there was little we could do to help. Very, very glad all of you wonderful, lovely people are out there, doing one of the hardest jobs. Can’t imagine being able to walk away from someone in that situation, so fully understand the instinct as well as the need to reflect and learn from it.

Thank you, Mumsnet 🙂

I shared office space with a housing support charity, they had a young man present at 16:50 on a Friday, he had no money for electricity or food.
They had no means to support him over the weekend, the client said he'd just go and break a shop window and get arrested then. He did exactly that and was warm and fed for the weekend.
The Sheriff threw his case out on the Monday morning.

Then you have no idea how bad it is in a lot of places.

It was a lovely thing to have done.

I had someone buy me a few household things when I was a struggling teenager. I still have them and use them regularly. I'll never forget how kind he was to buy me things with his own money.

Im a student social worker. You shouldnt worry about this at all, as you can totally turn this into a positive for you. Im on placement and working with the homeless. On one shift I gave a guy my gloves I had on as he looked freezing. This lead to me telling my manager and I suggested we source hat, glove, scarf set to hand out during outreach, which we did. Another time off shift I was walking home alone and saw someone who was homeless and approached him and took his details and phoned it into my manager. I was aware we are never supposed to lone work, and she reiterated this but understood why I did (it was in the minuses and late at night). Both incidents I discussed in supervision with practice supervisor and critically reflected upon them. It was great learning, and my manager was grateful about the glove set suggestion and me sourcing them as it was something she hadn't thought of. We now carry several sets in our outreach bag along with coffee, tea, snacks, and info. I hope that helps.

Just echoing others, I’ve done this before working in a professional field, lots of people have. Absolutely not ideal but the best advice I’ve ever been given is to “ make the decision you can sleep at night”. Reflective piece is a good idea. Boundaries are so important though for everyone’s wellbeing and parity of experience.

Been there OP - I'm not a social worker but I run a food bank. A few times now I've handed over (without the person knowing) the contents of my own cupboards, or gone out to buy formula or baby food for a mum (we're supposed to, generally for quite good reasons, refer to the MW/HV team for that - fat lot of good at 17.30 on a Friday).

Bless you

I volunteer with the homeless and have done for 25 years I remember once a lady sold me this story of needing her stoma bag redone and that she needed taxi fare. Now remember I’ve worked with these guys for a long time and I’ve heard all sorts of stories and money is a bit no no. I did it. Was lied too. Learnt my lesson and never did it again

i beat myself up for years over it.

life happens. You did a good thing regardless of what they CHOSE to do. Or how you looked etc.

It's not ideal but you did what you needed to do to make sure a family had the basics. In these circumstances you'd usually get pre-approval from your manager to access s17 money which is for circumstances like this. You've done the right thing telling your manager straight away and I'm sure they'll understand the predicament. Try not to mull on it too much over the weekend.

You're presuming OPs in LA CSC, she could be adults. We don't even know if she's in stat.

That's good.

I work send education and it's not unknown for us to provide food for children who's parents don't provide a snack or give them something from our lunch because we know they live in poverty.

Everyone knows it's not ideal but you become a SW or similar because you care.

You just have to learn to separate those emotions which is MUCH easier said than done

I've done similar OP. I'm a District nurse and on two occasions have gone to the shop to buy milk/sandwiches etc as the patients needed insulin but had limited food etc in the house. Its a difficult postion to be in!

Just see it as the same as donating to a food bank and help that service user with getting to a food bank next week asap when they're open so they have food in for the week.

My daughter also did this as a trainee SW. She did tell her manager who praised her empathy, told her not to do it again and reimbursed her!

Most food banks are only open one or two days a week. Most Local Authority or charity emergency funds take days or weeks to access with form filling. Where else was OP supposed to go at short notice on a Friday afternoon or was she supposed to worry all weekend that someone was left hungry?

Ah fair point, yes I was.

You did a good thing OP and I'm glad you got the ok from your manager before the weekend.

Has she told you what you should do the next time?

Good lesson about boundaries OP. But you sound like a lovely person, and I’m sure you’ll make an excellent social worker. Because you care.

I was a teacher in a very deprived area. I bought a child a pair of shoes once. I’ve bought loaves of bread to keep in my classroom to give them toast for breakfast when they haven’t been fed at home. DH is a police officer and had to forcibly take some kids into care once. He said there was absolutely no food in the house so he took them to McDonalds on the way to the police station. I would have done the same. It’s not ideal, you can’t make it a habit but sometimes needs must.

It's crazy, I was on the way home from work and my daughter is at her dads this weekend, he called and said she's unwell with a temperature and could I please pick up calpol. Had a fiver cash on me and left bank card at home so went to Sainsbury's and grabbed calpol. Tried 100 times to put the bloody fiver in the self service check out, wouldn't go in. Member of staff said they couldn't get me change as only one on the tills. The man beside me then said to put it through with him, I offered him my fiver a few times but he wouldn't take it, just said, 'it's never a good night when you're buying calpol'. I thanked him and told him that was so kind and I appreciated it and he said he hoped my little girl felt better soon. I feel like it's a wee bit of pay back for my good deed - not that I expect it.

Don't make a habit of it or you'll have no money, but well done you for being kind and thoughtful

I had a social worker buy me lunch once and bring it to my house when my main carer was suddenly taken into hospital and my other two backup carers were unavailable (one on holiday and one had the flu).

I don't think you've done anything very unusual. I'm very grateful to him for making a shitty day just a little bit easier as I was in to much of a panic after watching my carer collapse and be loaded into an ambulance to make any kind of plan.

As you're a student social worker use this case to reflect upon provisional boundaries, social work values of empowerment and how it clashed with your own personal values (wanting to help) and the ethical dilemma you found yourself in late on Friday with no one to ask, you being a professional not a friend or charity, that it was your money, and how that may impact on your relationship with that client & family going forward.

Use supervision and reflection as the method

The outcome you will come to, if it's good SW practice, in your write up and response next time (your learning needs) will be

• seek advice from senior colleagues / line manager - don't act if you are unsure

-do research if local community resources - look up alternatives- find out where the community pantry, the community fridges are (literally Google your town address and those words), usually these are open part of each day for emergencies such as this, often run by church groups or voluntary agencies, and look up how to refer to Basics Bank (usually one in each town) which will do 7 days worth of basic supplies (but aren't open each day and SWs can refer to takes few days to organise) ; where are the "soup kitchens" ; and ask your colleagues for info on these community resources

• find out more about crisis money from DWP and what the criteria are

What an insane level of overkill.

I agree OP should reflect but possibly more about her anxiety about this than the act itself and how to contextualise her anxiety about decision making in future.

The whole empowerment vs wanting to help thing is fucking weird given that the person had no money. Sometimes people just need fucking help.

Sometimes a student just needs practical advice.

This thread is full of professionals with collective decades of experience saying they have done and would do the same.

It's not that deep.