To be surprised these children don’t have proper beds?

[FlappyValley]

Out of DC’s friends whose houses we’ve visited, I’ve seen three who don’t have proper beds, just a mattress on the floor. I’m really surprised because these aren’t poor families by any means (professional jobs, foreign holidays, nice clothes, etc) and the parents all have beds themselves! AIBU to think a bed is one of the most basic things you’d buy your child if your standard of living is generally good? Or is this totally normal?

I'm thinking of just putting my daughter's mattress on the floor. She's 19 months and can climb over her cot now and I'm scared she'll hurt herself. But as your friends children are older maybe it's because they move around a lot and fall out of bed.

When we were children we slept on the floor (no mattress) for one week in every month. My father wanted us to not forget the privilege of having a real bed. In his birth country a 'real' bed was a luxury. It sounds odd but as a discipline it has stood me in good stead.

I don't know if this is rude to say but as people have debated sweat and air circulation a few times... Asians actually don't have the sweaty and smelly gene that white people do 🙊 (I know this sounds like a troll post but it's been reported in a lot of mainstream newspapers and magazines like new scientist)

From personal experience I know this is true, British people sweat loads especially at night, and can smell a lot stronger even just after a night sleeping peacefully! So from a practical viewpoint, this may be a factor?

Its about connection with the ground. Or a floor. Something that people instinctively like to do. And children have better instincts than us adults.

I believe you about the Asian non sweaty thing. It's true.

Ooooh is that a thing?? That’s fascinating. I know that Asian people can’t metabolise alcohol like white people can - DH has quite a few friends who have Asian heritage and they are absolutely batted by the time DH finishes his pre drinks! But I didn’t know about white people being smellier. I suppose our tolerance for heat is lower for obvious reasons? Or is it that the sweat itself smells different

I live in a council house, I'm betting if I wrote a thread to say my dcs didn't have beds I'd be told it was neglectful

I have 4 dc, never had an issue with them falling out of bed/being able to climb in and out etc. There's plenty of different types of beds to choose from

Yes, that's why there's the "Asian flush" where Asians turn red easier when drinking alcohol!

It's actually to do with body odour / stinkiness rather than sweat, I only added sweat in to make it sound a bit less offensive.

DS same and he's 34. It was just safer as he constantly got up at night.

@Weallhaveavoice if they were from one of those countries they wouldn’t be asking why they don’t have a bed.

obviously a western family…and buy your kids a damn bed.

You can get really flat bases for mattresses so you’re basically on the floor but the underside of the mattress still gets ventilated. Friend of mine back in uni had his mattress on the floor and the bottom of it got SO mouldy and damp that the mattress had to get thrown in the tip.

So Asians and Prince Andrew are fine with a mattress on the floor but the rest of us need the ventilation 😂😆

You are calling people wierdos

Thats rude,

I honestly don’t know who these people are, like yourself, who claim to never have been in a bedroom other than your own. Blink twice if you need help! Do you not have any friends? Do you never see the inside of a friend’s bedroom? Is there a reason why? It’s not normal. Good night and god bless.

Floor beds are beds. There is a low frame. Just no legs.

@maddiemookins16mum
wow. Judgemental any? So - you think a bed is a basic right and the lack of one inhibits my kids’ happiness? If any of them asked for fancy matching bedding I would get it. My eldest who is autistic and has massive sensory issues has top notch hand made organic Bedding but prefers a mattress on the floor as she finds bedsteads make noises that bother her and also feels safer at floor level.

I think we possibly just have different priorities? I don’t see the big issue - everyone is happy to have a mattress on the floor - I have no need to own bedsteads for the sake of it, or as a middle class amulet. If we have money become available, then we have other things we’d rather spend it on. My kids are all unschooled at home so we like to do activities and get them art materials and so on. I don’t feel as if any of us are deprived by not having beds. More liberated.

I have stacks of bedding. I make up beds with sheets and pillow cases - but my son has a special blanket and refuses to sleep with anything else and I simply let everyone decide what makes them comfortable. No rules around having to have things “look” a certain way.

I find it hilarious you consider not affording a bedstead to be a reason we should not have a child that is loved and cared for, well fed and happy and well adjusted. “Oh babe - shit i’m pregnant - I can’t feel happy about it because what about a bedstead?!”

@toomuchlaundry no I don’t think we’d necessarily have bought beds if we had less kids. Maybe. I mean - it’s an academic question because without my kids I’d be a different person with different priorities. It doesn’t bother ant of us. As is said, my kids have a tendency to fall out of bed. This way no one is hurt!

tbh we have always been skint even with less kids - my DH works his arse off tuning a bicycle shop - there’s not a hell of a lot of money in that - and we decided early on that for us a priority was for me to be at home with our children, especially once number 1 was diagnosed with complex needs. We knew we wouldn’t have a lot of money, but we have peace of mind because for us it works best to have me care for the kids. I home educate so they get me, instead of bedsteads. Tbh if any of them asked us for a bed, and it was their heart’s desire - we’d find a way to to do it. DH is handy and could make one. But everyone is happy.

runs a bike shop! sorry typo

Soooo many cultures aren’t bothered about bedsteads. Weird middle class priorities here. Yes it is Montessori and yes it is practical. Does it need labelling? Does it matter? Are any of these kids clamouring for a bedsteads? Or would they rather have other things and aren’t bothered? Ask the kids.

Not gonna bother answering. I obviously find joy in life outside of bed owning and so do my kids.

This is such a funny thread. Of course you don’t need a bed. Most people in the world don’t have a bed. Not everything that isn’t done in a mainstream English way, is wrong. There are other options.

That’s awesome I love it when kids do things like this.

but OP is saying they don’t have the frame from what I can gather just a mattress. So it doesn’t seem like this is a choice by the child. That’s what they have!

why...?

Are they not safe, comfortable and warm if not raised 10 cms higher when sleeping?

I believe its one of those 'trends' the sort of rubbish you see on insta, pintrest..

I am an autistic woman, my entire life has been spent 'missing' these things. As an adult I do not care in the slightest.

Its something Neuro typical people do to appear more fashionable than other Neuro Typical people, it leads them to be seen as higher up in the invisible social hierarchy that matters so much to them.

Well it hasn’t passed you by so much that you don’t feel qualified to comment on it.