Is masturbation a life skill?

[MaggieMagpie357]

Please help settle a mass debate (ha ha) that is currently raging in the school FB group.

Year 11s have weekly Life Skills lessons at school, these are a mix of things like money management, apprenticeships, higher education information etc, and what used to be called PSHE, ie sex education, healthy relationships, mental health and well-being etc.

One parent in particular is disgusted by some of topics our 15/16 year olds are being taught in these lessons. Last week she posted in the parents FB group because they had been discussing pornography in the lesson which she thought was inappropriate. Another parent then commented that she was appalled by this, and that they had also discussed FGM - she actually said that her child would never move in circles where this could happen to her, so why should she have to learn about it?

A full list of topics covered in Life Skills is available on the school website, and all children are told by teachers that they can leave the classroom if they feel uncomfortable. Yet these parents insist on these pearl clutching FB posts every time their child has a life skills lesson that they deem to be inappropriate!

So - is masturbation a life skill?!

(To clarify, teachers were not demonstrating this, and it was taught during a lesson on healthy relationships!)

How intriguing!

Can you let us have some more information please?

agree that it’s natural, but what if kids are being told at home that masturbation is a sin, the proof of perversion, and sex is for procreation within marriage? Is it not good to know what’s what, accurately, in a non-judgemental environment? I also don’t think it is necessarily automatic; I am glad it is for lots of people but a few posters have pointed out stuff that sadly doesn’t surprise me - like girls didn’t know they could because they don’t know what a clitoris does?

The ‘FGM won’t happen to her’ argument is particularly daft. I can see why people find the details disturbing, but if you go down the road of only teaching people about nice things, or experiences that are likely to happen to them, where would that lead? Don’t envy teachers at all.

No-one can really comment on whether the FB posters are reasonable or unreasonable without the content of the lessons involved. Mentioning masturbation in passing in a lesson on sex and puberty is fine (I can't see how it needs more than one sentence though.) A teacher giving an hour long lesson on technique and personal history - not so much. Having seen some lesson plans created by dodgy 'charities' I wouldn't assume the latter never happens.

I actually think the statutory requirement to teach about sexual pleasure in PSHE is grim AF. No wonder Gen Z have the least sex of any generation.

This is the content required by the government for any school in England. Understanding the issues with pornography is compulsory content.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/1090195/RelationshipssEducationRSEEandHealthh_Education.pdf

15/16yos are being taught about masterbation and then going home and telling parents with pearl clutching tendencies all about it?

I work with a woman who is 25, hasn’t ever masturbated and doesn’t actually know her anatomy AT ALL. Genuinely.

She blames school for not teaching her. I definitely think it’s a life skill.

Probably getting it in comms from school. It's also public knowledge, it's part of the curriculum.

Same.

Creepy AF. I don't feel it's an adult's job to teach a minor what masturbation is and how it works. And if you leave school not knowing what masturbation is I don't see that to be a bad thing at all.

I knew what it was at a very young age by way of curiosity (way before 16) and would have been absolutely mortified if i had to sit and listen to a teacher tell me about it while i semi pretended to have no idea. It was something girls just didn't talk about much until we were about 16 +. Because its private.

I would be fuming to learn my son is being taught about masturbation in Y7 as some posters have mentioned. Sexual pleasure is not a topic adults should discuss with minors. End of.

Sexual pleasure is not a topic adults should discuss with minors.

Are you able to say a bit more about why, other than it's private?

Sure, i'm able.
It's 101 grooming behaviour.
Once minors become desensitised by adults discussing sexual pleasure with them, where do you think that leads to?

I will never be comfortable with another adult talking to my child about masturbation. Whether they're a teacher, doctor or any other perceived authority figure.

They don’t need to go into detail.

Only need to say something like, exploring your bodies is completely normal, and so is masturbation. Masturbation allows you to understand what you and your body likes and enjoys.

That’s it. There’s nothing graphic. There’s no instructions on how to do it

Think it is fine to have as a life skill. Probably best coming from the school as it is not exactly dinner table conversation.

Out of interest is safe use of the internet and the laws etc surrounding social media included (I.e. don’t send naked pics of yourself when asked etc).

'Is masturbation a life skill?'

Well, it's never helped me at a job interview.
I don't know why I bothered, I think I'll stop doing it.

I think telling young people that sexual pleasure is a normal part of having a sex life is actually essential, not grim. How else are people going to learn to communicate effectively around sex and enjoy it rather than seeing it as a duty or a transaction? You don't have to go into graphic detail, but everyone should know how to have a decent orgasm and that their partner should be thinking of providing accordingly in a mutually happy sexual relationship.

@flabbygoldfish yes of course, in fact they started learning about that in year 6 with an NSPCC video called "I saw your willy"

Not sure how effective it was, given that DD16 still laughs about how funny it was......

Thank fuck for this. I"m reading all the comments thinking what the hell have we come to when we're encouraging adults to encourage children (11yr olds!!!) to masturbate. Simply no need. I bought a book for my 9 yr old ( was actually targeted at 8+) and ripped out the 3 pages of needless information about how it's great to masturbate. No 9 yr old needs to know this.

To be fair, if he still remembers if 6 years later it probably did its job!

Children aged 11 who shouldn't be having sex need to know this??

@bellswithwhistles they're year 11, so 15/16 year olds. And who said anything about teachers "encouraging" children to masturbate?! It was part of a sex Ed lesson as per the National Curriculum.

@bellswithwhistles OP was talking about Yr11, not 11 year olds. So 15-16. They most certainly should be learning that they need to be considerate of their partners.

At age 11 you can keep it more basic - but given that some girls will be menstruating at that age, we shouldn't be on the 'preserving their innocence' bandwagon, if only because we need to give them the information they need to recognise when they are being groomed.

There's a reason why countries which start sex ed young, deliver it to a very high standard and keep it age appropriate throughout have lower teen pregnancy rates, higher rates of happiness and a later age of first intercourse.

Personally I think it should be mentioned that masturbation is an excellent natural sleep aid.

I think I was about 11/12 when learnt it. I don't see the issue. It wasn't a main discussion just pointed out body part and where the clit was etc.

I know your post is a more general discussion but just to answer your title directly - yes I think masturbation is a life skill.

It’s a great skill to know what you like and be able to communicate that as needed.

I’m sure when I was growing up the average age of first female orgasm was a good bit higher than average age for first sexual intercourse.