Is masturbation a life skill?

[MaggieMagpie357]

Please help settle a mass debate (ha ha) that is currently raging in the school FB group.

Year 11s have weekly Life Skills lessons at school, these are a mix of things like money management, apprenticeships, higher education information etc, and what used to be called PSHE, ie sex education, healthy relationships, mental health and well-being etc.

One parent in particular is disgusted by some of topics our 15/16 year olds are being taught in these lessons. Last week she posted in the parents FB group because they had been discussing pornography in the lesson which she thought was inappropriate. Another parent then commented that she was appalled by this, and that they had also discussed FGM - she actually said that her child would never move in circles where this could happen to her, so why should she have to learn about it?

A full list of topics covered in Life Skills is available on the school website, and all children are told by teachers that they can leave the classroom if they feel uncomfortable. Yet these parents insist on these pearl clutching FB posts every time their child has a life skills lesson that they deem to be inappropriate!

So - is masturbation a life skill?!

(To clarify, teachers were not demonstrating this, and it was taught during a lesson on healthy relationships!)

It's not a life skill to learn how to do it with techniques and so forth (and that isn't what is being taught)-- but it is a life skill to learn to understand that is a normal and natural thing to do. So in that, it is fine.

I have to teach it and I dread every second of every class where it comes up….

it’s literally my worst nightmare. I did not go into teaching (my subject is music) to have these discussions with kids. I did it to teach people how to play piano/violin/sing/guitar/etc.

I am not trained in this subject area, I am not experienced in this subject area, I am simply sent into a room with a PowerPoint and a “good luck!” From the head of PSHE.

the state of teaching and staffing at the moment - it’s embarrassing in a lot of schools anyway - but really we should avoid these topics until some proper training is done - and we have decent pshe teachers who are trained in how to deal with these topics!

I mean - even when they are trained professionals it can be terrible. I had to sit through an assembly of the worst kind, where a man basically shouted at year 11s that they were going to get every disease and then showed them horrible pictures and essentially told them if they didn’t wear a condom they would get it - all in an angry tone. It was so damaging!

I totally understand young people need to be taught this, but they need to be taught be PROPERLY trained people, who know what they’re doing and can handle the content professionally. Not someone who giggles every time they hear the word penis (talking about myself) and who can’t say the word sex without blushing let alone say the word masturbation in front of a class of 32 teenagers….

it should be taught in schools but NOT BY ME!

Well I would not put it on my CV!

My life was greatly enhanced by acquiring this skill, for sure.

So yes, I think it is!

A lot of young people access porn online and some of it is extreme with violence and strangulation so anything that balances that idea out of what sex should be like is important.

I’ve been practicing for years, I think I’ve got to an acceptable standard but maybe I could have been a lot better at it if I had had lessons in school. :(
can you fail this class btw?

Masturbation and FGM are covered in Y7 PSHE where I teach. Kids are way more embarrassed than I am about the masturbation bit. It generally comes as a revelation that girls can masturbate given that they don't have a penis.

Porn is discussed in Y8, 9 and 10, in an age appropriate way

My friend had a holiday job wanking turkeys, so it can come in handy. Don't know if it's a life skill though.

I think it’s a life skill.

people need to learn that is healthy and nothing to be ashamed of, but also when it is appropriate and about consent (mutual mastubation etc).

I wouldn’t call it a life skill. But it is an important part of sex and relationships education, as is sensible discussions about what is portrayed in porn.

Given that porn is both ubiquitous and wildly misleading, with massive potential to mess with young people’s expectations and perception, surely it’s good they know about how sex actually works in real life?

By the time they get to the upper years I reckon there’s a definite argument for managing expectations - ‘hello class, just to let you know most girls won’t come wailing from thirty seconds of violent bunny-pounded - so definitely don’t worry if you don’t either.’ That sort of thing?

Seriously, orgasms are clearly a life skill; if you know what to do to please yourself, you’re more likely to have a positive view of sex, a fulfilling sex life, and (possibly) happier relationships. Not saying sex is the alpha and omega of all human interaction but it shouldn’t all be left up to chance either, especially when there’s so much damaging nonsense doing the rounds online.

Being kept innocent (ignorant) didn’t stop me having sex, it just meant I was perplexed. The boyfriend to whom I lost my virginity asked me to sit on his face; so I did it, sideways and carefully, with my feet on the floor, like his bewildered face was a bus seat🤣

I'm confused.
Are they learning it in Life Skills lessons or is it marketed as a life skill?
I think 15/16 is pretty old to be discussing masturbation tbh. A big percentage of children will have watched porn when they start in year 7 and be familiar with the term wanking.

@Rinkydinkydoodle your last paragraph had me snorting 😂

But that's exactly my point - I'm not saying teachers should give full blown demonstrations but surely our job is to send our kids into the world as best equipped as they can be? You can't just pretend that FGM or masturbation don't exist.

@PeekAtYou the lessons are called a
Life Skills, the syllabus is very varied but covers all the things listed in my OP and more. The argument within the parents FB group was that masturbation is not a life skill. I did ask if it was relabelled as PSHE or biology would it be acceptable? They said no, and that this kind of thing should not be discussed at school.

It's a life skill? Excellent, that will make my CV look more impressive.

100% this

I think she is being pedantic. Life Skills sounds like a more plain speaking name for PSHE and applies to the majority of what will be covered, such as CVs, personal finance, how the government works etc.

No, strictly speaking, it's not a "life skill" but it is a normal thing to cover under the Sex and Relationships strand of PSHE.

She is being odd and annoying.

*It generally comes as a revelation that girls can masturbate given that they don't have a penis
*

and this is exactly why it's needed.

The kids who's parents are open and have talked to them about the things they need to know won't be phased.

The kids of the parents who disagree with it are the ones that need it the most.

If masturbation is a life 'skill' then I can only assume the people teaching that consider brushing their teeth to be some kind of 'skill' or achievement. They don't sound too bright. They sound like they'd have enough of a job putting one foot in front of the other without falling over. Masturbation doesn't take any 'skill' any more than washing your hands, brushing your teeth or walking does. It's an automatic act, not a 'skill'.

I had to re-read your OP as when I read that parents were objecting I thought you must have meant they’re 11 year olds!

These are year 11.
Very soon they will be fully independent and navigating their way through things they’ve never experienced before.

These sessions are so important!
And I would argue that these lessons are much more important than other subjects.

I wouldn’t call it a ‘life skill’ but it should definitely be taught as part of it and taught how it’s absolutely fine and natural but that like other sexual stuff it should only be done because you choose to and not because someone has told you to or is filming you etc.

If masturbation is a life 'skill' then I can only assume the people teaching that consider brushing their teeth to be some kind of 'skill' or achievement. They don't sound too bright.

They’re not calling it a skill though, it’s just what these lessons are called but they could be about anything.

They’ll also discuss rape, grooming, drugs etc - again these aren’t skills but they’re taught as part of these sessions.

Definitely.

Self knowledge in all its forms is empowering.

@ItsShiela have you read my OP? The lesson comes under the umbrella heading of Life Skills. Along with other topics that would have once been known as PSHE or sex Ed.