to think people who grew up with money haven't a clue sometimes??

[Herroyal]

I work in a profession which is traditionally full of MC or monied people. I'm from a regional,WC, scholarship background - grew up on an estate. Cos of the regional accent my 'class' isn't recognisable to most English people.

Anyway. Chatting with a colleague who's just been ski-ing, and it came up that I've never been skiing. He was properly - what NEVER? what about as a kid? What about with school? You MUST have been. I jokingly said 'not many mountains where I'm from' and he said, but that's why you go to the Alps, silly.
So I told him not only did I not going ski-ing as a child I'd also never went abroad til I was an adult. His response? Did you family have a place in the UK then? Is that where you summered? He had an eccentric uncle who insisted only only going to the hse in Cornwall etc
He then told me it was practically child neglect that we weren't taking our kids skiing now. EVERYBODY skis.

And this was the week after I told one girl at work I needed to try to pop to Argos at lunchtime, wasn't sure if I could get there and back though in time for a meeting. Her suggestion was to open an account at the Harvey Nichols and pop there ( it's closer) that where's she gets all her household stuff. An account?
Yes, just like at Argos. Turns out that she thought Argos let you put things on 'account' and pay at the end of the month. She'd never used one, been in one. Had no idea what a catalogue shop was. It's another world...

I don’t care what you think. When I was 18, many people told me not to go to Oxbridge because I’d never be accepted from my background. Most of them working class! People like you who use scare stories and bogeymen to keep working class people in their place. Well, guess what? It was fine! Some people were clueless but none of the laughably cruel crap you are spouting.

I am TELLING YOU that these industries are not the same now and you’d rather call me a liar and spread more propaganda about how you need to ski and be super rich to work a professional job.

it’s vile.

Never been skiing either. Teacher from a working class,council estate environment thst someine once said about escaping from🙄lack of money doesn't equate to lack of integrity,it does usually equate to restricted opportunities. Yes dime people don't get it. I didn't go abroad till 6th form- language exchange. Never went to theatre,apart from the odd pantomime visit until then too,oh no I didn't 🤣

What strikes me about your examples is those people come across not so much as rich but not too bright

Conversely I have met one or two lovely, down to earth wealthy people. As a student I worked as a chamber maid alongside an overseas student for a summer, and toward the very end of our stint discovered that her mom was the mayor of a well known US city and her dad was an attorney. Her family, grandparents etc were all wealthy.
they paid her tuition, rent but expected her to earn some ££ of her own too, work ethic and all that.

‘What strikes me about your examples is those people come across not so much as rich but not too bright’

Honestly, half the people I work with wouldn’t have degrees if it wasn’t for extensive tutoring and connections. Many don’t anyway and are still in senior positions. It’s amazing what a posh accent and private school overconfidence can still get you.
Also helps if mummy and daddy own the company, are paying for the product, and running the events of course…

I find it interesting that so many posters are being quick to dismiss the OP. I can well believe it and have met some genuinely clueless people who do live in a bubble of privilege. I’ve also met plenty of wealthy people who are not clueless but it is a little bit silly to say it couldn’t possible happen because it hasn’t happened to you.

I can see that my children sometimes come out with things that would put them in a ‘bubble’. The difference is I’ve got the self awareness to know and correct them and hope by the time they are older they realise that too. Eg the other day we drove past a road and my 6yo said ‘oh I feel so sorry for those people with tiny driveways’. That was a sentence that screams privilege and I’d be upset if she said that in front of others but she had no understanding that many people would love to live in those houses and how awful what she said sounded.

The class system works because there an unspoken set of rules that “outsiders” do not know are marked by failing to adhere to.

Outsiders are kept out but they also keep themselves out. Working class people select out of spaces they feel will be unwelcoming.

Part of the work of upending social inequality is making those spaces welcoming but the rest is in persuading a diverse set of people to try. When I went to Oxbridge a lot of smart people in my school did not even apply because they were afraid of how badly they would be treated.

The fact is that the OP and other posters will not listen to any indication that things are changing. They aren’t even happy. They would rather call me a liar. They don’t want to do anything except spread doom and gloom and contribute to the belief on this thread that people like you won’t be welcome.

Besides, lots of what she is saying doesn’t make sense. That’s why people are challenging it. The idea that a QC considered is a “middle class profession” is silly and clearly untrue.

Also annoying is her constant conflation of money with poshness. It just calls into question her supposed connection with all these wealthy poshos. Lots of “old money” are not rich. Lots of them have to work and have had to work for generations.

And since there are so many barriers to social mobility, I’d rather not have people like OP creating more fake barriers and spreading obvious lies to further muddy the waters.

Why is a QC (it’s actually a KC now) not a middle class profession? I know several KC’s and granted they are Oxbridge grads but they’re from ordinary lower middle class backgrounds, children or grandchildren of immigrants and either grammar or state faith school educated in northern cities and didn’t grow up at all wealthy or well connected just encouraged by parents who were only a generation away or grew up in poverty

A friend of mine was shocked that growing up we'd never had a cleaner and my mum cleaned the house herself. She said "but surely EVERYONE has a cleaner?!"

I don't suppose that the cleaner employs a cleaner for their home can you imagine?

This is spot on.

UHNWIs often use the tube in London because nobody can buy time. Many are self made from less monied childhoods than most WC families, so they make efforts to ensure their DC are aware of consequences from chosen actions. They aren't dim and their achievements weren't just through luck so it's very unlikely they'd make the mistakes the OP described. Of course almost all workplaces no matter how relatively glossy will have their full share of dim-witted or insensitive or nasty people. Almost all those who behave as OP described tend to have less and are unlikely to thrive if they continue as such. While labelling can help initial navigation around strangers, continuing to do so after you interact in real life just holds you back and prevents you from getting where you want to be.

So his father worked in business, his sister worked in an art gallery and his brother worked abroad and somehow all this work is NOT middle class but working as a QC is middle class.

That is not what the posted said. The 'role' the father had may have been a non-executive one, or a token position such as 'Chairman' when the company is actually run by the other directors. The sister may have had employee status at the art gallery, but didn't necessarily do any real work - perhaps her parents owned it, or the owners only employed her for her accent and social connections. And the brother's "adventures" were definitely not work, even if he had some sponsorship or media deal.

Can you not comprehend that some people really don't have to work, and barely know the meaning of the word?

@MarieRoseMarie
The class system works because there an unspoken set of rules that “outsiders” do not know are marked by failing to adhere to.
Outsiders are kept out but they also keep themselves out. Working class people select out of spaces they feel will be unwelcoming.
Part of the work of upending social inequality is making those spaces welcoming but the rest is in persuading a diverse set of people to try. When I went to Oxbridge a lot of smart people in my school did not even apply because they were afraid of how badly they would be treated.

Completely agree with the above.

The fact is that the OP and other posters will not listen to any indication that things are changing. They aren’t even happy. They would rather call me a liar. They don’t want to do anything except spread doom and gloom and contribute to the belief on this thread that people like you won’t be welcome.

Maybe things are changing, but that doesn't mean everything has already changed. There is still plenty of gatekeeping and discrimination and prejudice, and of course plenty of thick, rich people who hide their insecurities by looking down on others.
In some circles 'people like us' are actually still not welcome and never will be.

Besides, lots of what she is saying doesn’t make sense. That’s why people are challenging it. The idea that a QC considered is a “middle class profession” is silly and clearly untrue.

I believe the OP said that the rich family believed QC was a middle class job, not that it actually was.

MarieRoseMarie it is fantastic that you haven’t experienced it- it really is but your experience won’t be universal. There is enough in what the OP says that absolutely does chime true for me in certain roles I’ve been in. Not every single one or every single team. I’ve had brilliantly inclusive experiences and I’ve also been in teams with people who are exceptionally privileged but also a bit dim regarding real life.

I do agree to an extent that people can self select out due to fear but those hidden codes absolutely do exist even in professions like the civil service which aren’t particularly well-paid (there is a big report re social mobility in the civil service which is fascinating). The class ceiling documentaries on bbc are also fascinating. There is a debate in one of them re the extent to which young people feel they have to change in to get on versus whether there is true acceptance. One of the examples was something quite simple about the young lad saying everyone in his team went off to get sushi for lunch and he’d never had it before and felt a bit odd. The skiing is just another example of that sort of thing where something becomes a norm among a group and that becomes their normal. I am sure I am guilty of it myself.

I don’t think my experiences are “positive”.

I think they are common.

I think it’s really interesting that people can’t see the difference between the examples they are posting and the OP’s.

I’m not denying the codes exist. I’m denying the OP’s stories as incorrect and outdated.

Sushi and skiing and holidays abroad and private schools - those distinctions 100% exist.

Someone literally not understanding that people don’t ski - complete rubbish.

Does anyone truly understand what it’s like to grow up as someone else, in radically different circumstances to what they know as normal?

We all live in the ‘real world’, but that doesn’t mean we all live in the same world.

I've never been skiing because it's my idea of hell. I've got bad balance, I hate sport and I DETEST being cold. My parents could not have afforded it anyway.

I'm MC, FWIW.

Yes, the famously wealthy British upper classes who were so broke they were importing American heiresses and letting the public in so they could keep their country piles.

The British upper classes who have to sit back and make snobby comments about their much richer neighbours whose London homes are 3x theirs in size.

Help me understand.

Does Boris Johnson need to work? He’s posh and well connected. Does he need to work? Or can he get by without a job?

I once had a rich colleague who came to us with a revelation one day, he'd discovered at the age of 30 a shop in town that lunchtime which has a big book you can pick things out in etc... He couldn't remember the name of it.... When we suggested argos he got all excited and said "oh wow do you know it?" 😂😂😂 this was in front of a room full of not so well off colleagues. Classic moment.

Someone literally not understanding that people don’t ski - complete rubbish
I don't think that it's not understanding that people in general don't ski exactly, but there can be a tendency for some people to assume that those that they have something major in common with - like the same job - have had broadly similar upbringings. I have certainly had colleagues express surprise when they have realised quite how different my background is to theirs. They don't expect the domestic staff to have been privately educated and to holiday in Val D'Isere (or wherever...I don't know anything about skiing) but they do expect someone who is equal or senior to them professionally* *to have a similar lifestyle, and some struggle to grasp the fact that this isn't always the case. Not everyone of course, but in my experience it is still not uncommon to encounter this kind of attitude.

'The 'role' the father had may have been a non-executive one, or a token position such as 'Chairman'

Yup. it was some token thing, because the firm had something about family owning the majority etc.
To be clear I DO NOT think that becoming a QC, KC now I suppose, is really a MC thing. To me it's an incredibly posh thing to do - or you're very bright and hardworking and somehow make it anyway. It's the family who didn't understand why one of their kids, who has a trust fund worth millions, wanted to work so hard as a lawyer when he could have had a token 'occupation' like the rest of them.

'Someone literally not understanding that people don’t ski - complete rubbish'

er, no. As I said before my regional accent, combined with speaking 'well', makes everyone I work with assume I'm like them. Privately educated, and from the kind of background where you ski in winter and bob off to Tuscany for half the summer.
The ski-ing thing has come up before. many many times even with parents of our kids at school.

I think this might be generational, then. Boris Johnson is a great example to me of a useless posho… but he still needs to work. He was literally broke being Prime Minister. Loads of them do. They need money and they get paid a ton in city jobs and journalism.

So maybe they thought he was working too hard. Fine. Families often think that when a child is not around. There was a thread last week about a WC adult whose family were the same. “We don’t see you enough etc etc”.

This is definitely a fake thread because the whole skiing anecdote is lifted word for word from a currently viral Tiktok trend (the only difference being the original was Harrow or Hounslow and OP changed it to Cornwall). It starts with a guy saying "People who grow up with money look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like do you ski". In most of the replies it cuts off just before "do you ski" so the responses are very broad. However there is one clip which is viral in its own right where a funny british guy repeats the exact anecdote OP just wrote in the opening text.

Rich people are not thick as shit and assume that everyone flies to the Alps to ski. Just like any MC/WC person would not assume everyone flies to the same countries they do for holidays and continue pressing the point like they were insane.

I absolutely believe this OP.

similar work background, colleagues who bank with Hoares and say “it’s often cheaper to get a jet” when it comes to summer hols.

We do ski but it’s almost a cult in some circles and I can well believe people think it’s odd that you’re not giving your DC an “essential life skill”.

And it’s not that people think “everyone” skis. They think everyone like them skis.