to think people who grew up with money haven't a clue sometimes??

[Herroyal]

I work in a profession which is traditionally full of MC or monied people. I'm from a regional,WC, scholarship background - grew up on an estate. Cos of the regional accent my 'class' isn't recognisable to most English people.

Anyway. Chatting with a colleague who's just been ski-ing, and it came up that I've never been skiing. He was properly - what NEVER? what about as a kid? What about with school? You MUST have been. I jokingly said 'not many mountains where I'm from' and he said, but that's why you go to the Alps, silly.
So I told him not only did I not going ski-ing as a child I'd also never went abroad til I was an adult. His response? Did you family have a place in the UK then? Is that where you summered? He had an eccentric uncle who insisted only only going to the hse in Cornwall etc
He then told me it was practically child neglect that we weren't taking our kids skiing now. EVERYBODY skis.

And this was the week after I told one girl at work I needed to try to pop to Argos at lunchtime, wasn't sure if I could get there and back though in time for a meeting. Her suggestion was to open an account at the Harvey Nichols and pop there ( it's closer) that where's she gets all her household stuff. An account?
Yes, just like at Argos. Turns out that she thought Argos let you put things on 'account' and pay at the end of the month. She'd never used one, been in one. Had no idea what a catalogue shop was. It's another world...

I don't mean this as a negative comment, but it works both ways, because obviously YOU don't know about MC spending habits - which are usually quite advantageous.

Not going skiing isn't a huge disadvantage, but not knowing ways to manage or spend money with an eye to the long term is. Buy cheap buy twice and all that.

Some of this doesn't strike entirely true.

I acquired friends at University who were much wealthier than my lower MC background. Their parents have/ had overseas holiday houses, small mansion houses in the expensive areas of Uk, ponies, kids often had access to a "kids" car when at home.

We all budgeted as students and continue to do so although their base parental contribution tended to be higher than mine. Almost all of them got a job in the holidays too.
In fact several of them got a better parental support deal if they worked in the summer than if they didn't. Parents thought it gave them a work ethic.

The only person who didn't budget or work in the holidays was a much longed for only child of middle class parents.

You sound a bit miffed. Are you bothered by the fact that all people are different with not one of us exactly equal? You are fortunate to be well educated and successful; maybe getting out of your comfort zone a little sometimes could be fun. Skiing is hugely fun and you could try it with a rich friend.
I did not grow up skiing but I have enjoyed trying new things when I have had the opportunity or earnt the opportunity.
Do give your kids a play in the snow. People just know their own reality and most people try to be a good friend.

Understanding that some people are cushioned from the financial reality that millions of other ordinary people deal with from payday to payday isn't having a chip on your shoulder.

Most of my relatives are extremely comfortable, a large proportion of them not even having to work for a living. Would I like more money coming in? Yes. Am I chippy about their money? No. I'd rather live in the real world, even when it means having to scrape by for a few months without any assurance of where the next lot of cash is coming from (self-employed).

'Does Argos not offer Klarna or credit system (like Next)? I pay for same day delivery from Argos which is fab'

I'm not sure I would class using Klarna the same as having a HN or Selfridges acct but perhaps that's just me...

Most of the people I know learnt about budgeting at university/in the first few years of independence.

The people I went to university with who had money just spent whatever they wanted. They were bemused (amongst other things) that anyone would want to get a part time job or would use a bus rather than running a car.

What I hope people at university do learn is that not everyone has such a cushion of family money behind them.

Er I think it's the people not believing the OP who are bizarre. I have worked in similar circles and there are absolutely people like this.

For example, thinking of one woman I worked with -- she had never taken the tube and refused to ever do so. She would never go south of Southbank because she 'would get stabbed of course'. She told me once about a friend in her circle who everyone felt bad for because his parents neglected him, and the main example of this neglect was that they didn't buy him a flat when he graduated from uni.

As to how she had money and I didn't when we worked in the same place, she obviously had a trust fund and buckets of family money. Don't know why people think the OP is weird about that.

They are being deliberate tossers.

I think your colleagues are just idiots, to be honest.

I grew up with money. It hasn't stopped me being able to engage my brain.

To be clear, I also know wealthy people who never talk about money and are not clueless at all. But there are definitely people with money who have no clue and talk a lot of shite. I don't hate them or anything, I'm mostly just embarrassed for them.

If money was no object I would probably also take cabs everywhere rather than use public transport. Wouldn’t most people? Is there a prize given out at the end of your life for martyring yourself on the bus even though you didn’t have to? Can’t see what’s so odd about this.

99% of Americans would think that American was, as they say, a jerk tbf.

Tbh, I'm not sure I would ever get the tube if I could afford taxis whenever I wanted.

I absolutely can believe the op.

I grew up in poverty, dh grew up very comfortably off, big detached house, several holidays a year, shopped in nice (high street) shops whereas we never had anything new at all.

It was a real culture clash at first. Some of his ideas and opinions were completely out of touch with how some people live, similar to the Argos example, maybe not that extreme.

Even now I find the conversations that his parents have bizarre.

Massive houses not being big enough, 500k being affordable for a starter home.

Parents not orients fgs

I agree but I meant in a buy now pay later sense.

Oh I can well believe the OP. I still remember at uni the utter disbelief of a girl who was still in sixth form but visiting a friend that I had gone to a state school. She genuinely thought that only delinquents and drug dealers went to state schools. Her mind was utterly blown that I hadn’t gone to private school. There are people who are so sheltered that their bubble does not fully correlate with what life is like for the majority.

At my work, skiing chat is rife. I sometimes feel very left out as I’ve never been but am talking about planning a trip with kids for the first time (never mentioning the fact I’ve never been) and therefore getting included in the chat. This is where all the social mobility stuff falls down a bit. There are norms and social cues that no-one ever tells you about but skiing is definitely one of them.

'Your colleague told you it was practically child neglect to not go skiing?'

I think he was joking but who knows. Hard to tell sometimes. We're both very senior, similar salaries I would imagine. We don't go skiing because, never did it, don't know how, seems okay but really expensive, although yes, we could afford it now if any of us had any interest.

I'm from an inner city council estate and went skiing twice with my secondary school.

The thread isn't that bizarre to me, especially if the skiing people are younger, and I assume a lot also went to boarding school. It can be an incredibly insular world, you socialise with similar people when younger and network your way to employment (if you have to work ) with similar people. There is a total lack of RL experience other than your own.

I look back and cringe as I was a little like this when I met DH (I was quite young in fairness and I wasn't a total tosser like skiing man) as our backgrounds are completely different, very much opposites to each other. I remember him being amazed that I had never been on a bus and I was amazed he had never been on a plane - you can see why I've namechanged

We met randomly in a city centre nightclub and were like those really strong magnets you have to pull apart All our friends were horrified (let alone our families) but we are married now and still together over 20 years later. We learnt a lot and I grew the fuck up I'm definitely not a tosser and would never use the word summered (what a knob) but I had a real lack of life experience and meeting each other was really eye opening, especially families and background. Lots of stuff we both just took for granted.

Skiing man is an example
why schools, universities and companies need to encourage much more diversity (and not in a tick box patronising way)
Our DC didn't go to private school as I feel that very much contributed to my lack of RL knowledge and experience. I was like the Pulp Common People song. I sometimes think private schools should be banned but the problems with the "class" system are so much deeper and I genuinely can't see how some "gaps" could be narrowed let alone closed. It's not just money/wealth.

Having 'money' is all relative though .

My upbringing was lower middle (parents both teachers from working class background). I work in public service admin and have a similar lifestyle currently to when I was growing up.

I have never come in contact with people like the OP's colleagues - yet some people would consider me well off because we own our house and can afford to eat out and have more than one holiday a year 🤷‍♀️

@Bunnycat101 'At my work, skiing chat is rife. I sometimes feel very left out as I’ve never been but am talking about planning a trip with kids for the first time (never mentioning the fact I’ve never been) and therefore getting included in the chat. This is where all the social mobility stuff falls down a bit. There are norms and social cues that no-one ever tells you about but skiing is definitely one of them.'

Yup, all of that. We also have our kids in state school and when schools come up - AND yes before anyone says I'm bloody lying again schools do come up in convo frequently wen talking about kids - I'm the only one on our SLT who's children aren't in private school. And I have had surprise expressed from some at choosing state over private. My slightly socialist views that there shouldn't be a two tiered system don't quite fit with my job/salary/other lifestyle now I suppose, not on the surface anyway.

@Greedymiss can I ask what it was like with your families? I'm always interested in peoples' experiences who have been in similar situations.
I'd actually like to start a thread but don't want to come across as a tosser and I know that I would

Ok I’ll say it out loud - I don’t believe a word of your post OP!
I know, have worked with and for people from magic circle law firms, proper boys club london, Coutts customers, Monegasque tax exiles, Lords and Earls to lovely people on council estates in deepest east end. No one I have ever met would talk like that. You’re just shit stirring.

I have friends who go skiing and they are not particularly wealthy, I have never been because I am clumsy and hate the cold.