to think people who grew up with money haven't a clue sometimes??

[Herroyal]

I work in a profession which is traditionally full of MC or monied people. I'm from a regional,WC, scholarship background - grew up on an estate. Cos of the regional accent my 'class' isn't recognisable to most English people.

Anyway. Chatting with a colleague who's just been ski-ing, and it came up that I've never been skiing. He was properly - what NEVER? what about as a kid? What about with school? You MUST have been. I jokingly said 'not many mountains where I'm from' and he said, but that's why you go to the Alps, silly.
So I told him not only did I not going ski-ing as a child I'd also never went abroad til I was an adult. His response? Did you family have a place in the UK then? Is that where you summered? He had an eccentric uncle who insisted only only going to the hse in Cornwall etc
He then told me it was practically child neglect that we weren't taking our kids skiing now. EVERYBODY skis.

And this was the week after I told one girl at work I needed to try to pop to Argos at lunchtime, wasn't sure if I could get there and back though in time for a meeting. Her suggestion was to open an account at the Harvey Nichols and pop there ( it's closer) that where's she gets all her household stuff. An account?
Yes, just like at Argos. Turns out that she thought Argos let you put things on 'account' and pay at the end of the month. She'd never used one, been in one. Had no idea what a catalogue shop was. It's another world...

'I'm from an inner city council estate and went skiing twice with my secondary school.'

fantastic that you got the opportunity. My grammar school did a school trip, but my parents couldn't afford for me to go. My younger sib, 8 years younger did get to go as our family circumstances were better by then, and my nan was able to help with ££ too.
What I like about my kids state schools is they heavily subsidise trips for those on pupil premium but also have an option for other parents to donate a few quid into a fund used for bigger trips too and they have a donation scheme for things like clothing for ski trips or outward bound trips where special clothing might be needed.
For kids from poorer backgrounds it's not just the ££ for the trip itself that stops them being able to join in, it's equipment, clothing or lack of personal spending money too.

Middle class in the uk must be rich in Ireland-I never knew anyone who skied and I went to private school in Ireland (we were lower/middle middle class I suppose;)) and worked and rode in a fairly decent riding school. The Harvey Nichols thing seems quite cute too (although I know of a lot of people who get vouchers for places like that for Christmas and birthdays and shop in sales so I suppose that's kind of close?!) Those people are showing off or else just from another world!!!! I do remember a manager in work being astounded that Penneys, Dunnes and Tesco did baby clothes, she got everything in Debenhams and Next

I feel like this song was written for you OP
www.comedy.co.uk/online/videos/20339/mawaan-rizwan-never-been-skiing/

I know what you mean OP as I am in a similar situation and have had the same type of conversations.
I was very recently asked to contribute to a "charity fundraiser" being run by an acquaintance's children's school. Initially I thought that it was a good thing - very privileged children doing something to benefit others, so I asked who the recipients are. Ukrainian refugees maybe, or victims of the earthquakes in Turkey? No, I was handed a shiny leaflet explaining how the funds raised would "provide further opportunities for our pupils". They were raising money for themselves. This is a school where the fees go up to nearly £40k per year. I don't think their pupils are low on "opportunities" and I certainly don't feel inclined to subsidise them. But my acquaintance genuinely seemed to think this was a worthy cause. The annual sports tour to Dubai can be a real strain you know, especially for families with more than one child in the school. I didn't actually tell him to fuck off but I was thinking it.

I worked with someone from a very wealthy background who was absolutely non-plussed to find out not everyone uses their entire ISA allowance every year and doesn't touch it. There was a lot of eye rolling in the rest of the team, all from very ordinary backgrounds. This guy was in his 40s, so youth wasn't even an excuse.

Ha! This rings a bell. I worked in media a long time ago and I remember sitting in a meeting where everyone at the table had gone to Cambridge. They asked me where I went to 'college'. I answered before realising they meant at Cambridge. It was a tiny insight into another world.

Dh and I have had a few awkward tumbleweed moments when we worked in the City usually relating to private schools - off the cuff comments by people assuming that everybody present was privately educated and slagging off state schools (where they all carry knives and do no sport apparently). Awks.

It was heavily subsidised and my dad (separated from my mum) saved up for me to go. All the equipment was included in the price. All I'm saying is, it's not ridiculous to think the people from council estates have never been skiing with their school. I've not been since though.

'If money was no object I would probably also take cabs everywhere rather than use public transport. Wouldn’t most people? Is there a prize given out at the end of your life for martyring yourself on the bus even though you didn’t have to? Can’t see what’s so odd about this.'

Well, for me the odd thing was that a 24 year old COULD afford to get cabs everywhere, because even in our Trustafarian heavy workplace, this was highly unusual. They all loved a black cab, but most used the tube to get into work.

The only other person I/we knew at the time who did this was the owner of the company. She did prefer Addison Lee as that was on her parents account.
And in London? When the tube, off peak esp, can whizz you most places easily?

I thought I it was amazing/super weird. But not so odd to you. Okay.

snap. this is post is so not true. There are loads of loaded people who haven't skied.

Yeah. I was trying not to be so blunt but yes. @ChiefPearlClutcher is spot on. It’s either simply untrue shit stirring or OP is completely oblivious to the very thick layer or sarcasm over the jokes her colleagues are making. Frankly, I think OP is just a bit upset that she actually is far more privileged that many (most?) people and is trying to regain some of her victimhood.

Same and I genuinely think they are mocking you, OP. There is no way they believe this unless you are in an industry like publishing or fashion, maybe?

Some of the worst I’ve come across are the MC social justice warriors who speak in cut-glass RP about how we should all be trying to tackle disadvantage but you know that if they actually had to work or live around actual working class people, or God forbid, their kids had to go to school with them they’d be horrified. Disadvantage is purely an abstract idea in their head.

On a practical note, there's an article in today's Guardian about Slovakia as a ski/winter holiday destination where, although the ski-ing is good, if that's your thing, you can also hike, toboggan, fell-run, have a mountain guide in the snow, if it's not. At the resort the writer visited, there's a spa, sauna and hot tub so you can do the hot water/cold snow immersion thing. Strikes me as a cheaper, more interesting, less environmentally-disastrous alternative to the alpine ski-ing holiday.

Never been ski-ing, although I have been securely middle-class for long enough to do so, if I fancied it! I offered DS the chance to go via school, but he wasn't into it, preferring the history trips to Nuremberg and Brussels and the French trips to Montpelier and the extra art classes. DH, who has been ski-ing, would rather cut off his own hand than do it again. While DS was at school, can't say I ever fancied going with half of Europe to stand in a queue at a ski-lift during the holidays. And, my hair looks shit outside in cold weather, and goggles leave nasty marks on the face. Also, do black people ski in Europe? it's always struck me as a very white pursuit, and I don't really fancy a super-mono holiday.

However, I have bookmarked the article about Slovakia, and it strikes me that I could open my mind a little, now that we're no longer confined to school holidays. What d'ye think, OP, maybe you could try as well?

By the way, the correct response to someone who 'summers' anywhere is to laugh in their face: "Summer in Cornwall? Do you 'winter' in St Tropez? Are you, in fact, Scott Fitzgerald? Or possibly Merys, Niles Crane's heiress wife?' Stop being intimidated!

'Same and I genuinely think they are mocking you, OP. There is no way they believe this unless you are in an industry like publishing or fashion, maybe?'

Too outing to say, but let's just say yes... The skiing guy has the emotional intelligence of a cabbage, but that's probably because he went to a very famous all boys boarding school at an early age. He's also not the brightest bulb though stuffed full of self-confidence, which I assume is why he's with us and not allowed near the family business.

I'm finding it odd that people are doubting the OP.

I have had very similar conversations where I've been greeted with astonishment and disbelief when I say I've never been skiing, my parents don't own a summer home, etc. I was once even asked where I went for 'finishing school' - didn't know these were still a thing outside of my ancient Mallory Towers books. This was a good few years ago, granted, but I have no doubt that these ideas / attitudes still exist.

Some wealthy people do indeed live in a complete bubble where they cannot even comprehend the lifestyles of others.

Fine but they've hardly met. We had a very small wedding, there's absolutely no bad feeling but they've nothing in common 🤷‍♀️

Skiing man does sound like a total bell end. Maybe he is actually insecure and "acting it up" ie making a big deal out of being "rich" as a sort of selling point (Harry Enfield style). I'm amazed no one has said "money doesn't buy you class"

Re skiing etc do think the "but the equipment was subsidised/we saved" isn't representative of a lot of families who are a world away from this, who just wouldn't have been able to save any "spare" money as there just wasn't any! DH parents' couldn't even pay for a passport (and things are even harder if you have more than one child).

Confused at teh number of posters thinking the OP is lying. I could ahve written the post word-for-word myself. I'm also working class, now working in a very MC-UC industry. "Where do you ski?" was a question asked of me in my first week as part of getting to know you chit-chat.

As for the posters saying that now OP works in that industry she should have the same standard of living as her colleagues; there are several problems with that. Firstly, old habits die hard - I know I'll be thrifty until the day I die; it's hardwired into my brain. Secondly, if the OP is anything like me, there is no cushion on which to fall back - either large savings pots due to inheritance from wealthy grantparents, or just knowing that mum and dad will always help out, so every penny earned is treated seriously. Perhaps her colleagues were given sizeable deposits with which to buy homes, making their mortgage much smaller than the OP's might be; or their parents pay for their main family holiday each year, or bought them a car, or will treat them/their kids to nice things on a regular basis. These are all real-life examples drawn from my own colleagues and friends whereas I have no help with any of these things so my salary doesn't go as far as others'.

I agree with you that many wouldn't be able to afford it. Many in my school couldn't, nor could my Mum. My Dad was living back with his parents and working. He thought it would be a good thing for me to do so sacrificed elsewhere so I could go. Doesn't change the fact there are kids from inner city council estates that have been skiing. Also doesn't change the fact the the bloke OP is talking about does sound like a bit of an idiot.

When I read your OP, I didn’t doubt it at all, but I did immediately wonder if you were in publishing!

I have only had arms-length contact with publishing (and none with fashion) but even that taught me that those who moved in those circles were a world apart from the small town, 500-pupils-in-a-year comprehensive I came from, and indeed even the Russell Group university I attended.

I’m heavily involved in DEI at my firm and it’s incredibly important to me. I dedicate a lot of my time to it. I frequently get told that I don’t get to have an opinion on it because I’m white, straight and attended a private school and grew up wealthy. I didn’t attend a private school though, and I’m actually mixed race (but look whiter than the clouds).

People judge me as being from a “monied” background because of my accent. I grew up in the Cotswolds in Oxfordshire. I attended a state comprehensive school, from a single-parent family where neither parent finished school and both had been in foster care. Both had addiction problems. I worked from the age of 13 and was paid directly into my mum’s bank account. One friends brought me food to school for a time and another friend used to feed me at her house before her parents came home from work. I speak “well” - in fact, I speak two languages well. I pronounce my t’s and h’s (except when saying aitch). I sound “posh”.

Not only did I attend state comprehensive schools, I also worked as a teacher before my current career. I worked in a very disadvantaged school. I dealt with drugs, violence, gangs, abuse, young carers, undiagnosed conditions, poverty, hunger, lack of aspiration, racism, cultural restriction and all manner of other relevant issues. I have a wealth of understanding an experience (both personal and professional) into why certain industries are inaccesible or difficult to access. But none of that matters to people like you who form assumptions based on my voice.

Stop judging people by their accents, you don’t know anything by that.

It’s normal for people here to use the word ‘summered’ and inquiring where you are spending the summer?

I would imagine the look of incredulity re skiing etc. It sounds fairly typical for these parts.

I went to Oxford and thankfully didn't have any conversations like this. Actually, I had a friend from a rich family ask me how I afforded foreign travel when he'd blown all his money on booze and CDs... It's because I didn't blow my money on booze or CDs.

Almost no-one at uni had a car and few mentioned skiing. It was actually pretty hard to tell who was rich and who wasn't.

Having said that, I do get really annoyed with people (esp current students) who waftily say that anyone sensible would put their student loan in a high interest account and not touch it. Instead of, you know, having to pay the rent with it. So entitled and blind.

I've never in my life heard anyone say Summered non-jokingly.

@Herroyal it's def true. It's a trend going around where people are telling about interactions with rich kids. Maybe he's pulling your leg!!