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Original poster

To think this is flirting?

60 replies

balagio · 21/02/2023 23:30

My husband manages a team of people. Recently he has mentioned a female undergrad 'flirting'. The past few weeks the messages have gone like this -

Her - husbands name
Him - yeah?
Her - I hope I I haven't offended you
Him - are you alright?
Her - yeah I'm just drunk.

Months later

Her - Hi name, just to say that I won’t be continuing name youth club on Fridays anymore. Would be willing to do shifts at summer if needed.

Him - That's no bother, I just need u to email me it so I can pass it onto employee services. When do u plan to finish up? Can u make sure to put the date u intend on leaving in the email as well please x

Her - Okay thanks, will email you! Friday passed was my last shift, sorry did try and give a weeks notice (think that’s all I need to give because I’m bank?). I will put that on the letter. As I said, if any shifts come up in summer at name, name and etc then happy to do, I’m just struggling to fit everything in now placement has started. Thanks for all your help past few years and helping me gain experience x

Him - Ye no worries. Email me when u can and il pass it on to formalise it. I'm not sure about notice because it depends on ur contract. If its just time sheets then no notice required. If its contracted then it's minimum of two weeks so il need to check what ur on and get that sorted out but if u can't make this Friday that's fine il try get some cover in. Hope ur placement and uni stuff goes well x

Her - Yeah it’s just timesheets I put in x

Him - Did u not have 4 week contract or anything. Did u and kiera do those interviews? Were they just for Bank staff or were they for the name positions? Sorry just trying to work out a few things. Can't remember because I was off for so long and haven't really caught up on all the contract stuff yet

Her - Yeah the interviews were just for bank positions, not name specifically. As far as I’m aware, I’ve never had a contract x

Him - Thanks

Her - Was that email okay?

Him - Ye should be fine il pass it on and see what they say. Are u wanting to do the flipout trip them if they let me put u in?

Her - When is that?

Him - Not confirmed the date yet but in march on a Friday night

Her - Yeah that’s fine, just let me know

Her - Hey, have I to work name this Friday?xx

Him - If you can please ye

Her - okay, why you being so off with me?

Him - I don't mean to be sorry

Her - drunk and awkward

Him - if it's any consolation, I don't.

Can someone please help me make sense of these? Am I being cheated on?

OP posts:
louderthan · 21/02/2023 23:33

Sorry, I don't really understand any of this. I don't understand the context. To be fair though it reads like he's shutting down any attempts at flirting and keeping things v professional?

Crinkle77 · 21/02/2023 23:34

louderthan · 21/02/2023 23:33

Sorry, I don't really understand any of this. I don't understand the context. To be fair though it reads like he's shutting down any attempts at flirting and keeping things v professional?

Yeah I agree

RogueV · 21/02/2023 23:36

Agree with above however why is he putting a ‘x’ after each message? Very unprofessional

Walterwhiteswifey · 21/02/2023 23:36

He seems to be keeping it professional, minus the kiss as that isn't appropriate, but suspect it didn't mean anything.
She sounds flirty and he is trying to shut it down.

Pinkypurplecloud · 21/02/2023 23:45

He sounds like he’s doing ok dealing with an unprofessional employee. All the “drunk and awkward” “why are you being off with me” etc is what you might text your mates if you’re a teenager, not your married manager as a grown up. I don’t particularly get the impression from those messages he’s cheating, though yes I think she’s flirting, or at least attention seeking.

CarpetSlipper · 21/02/2023 23:51

Neither of them seem flirty at all apart from possibly her when she says she’s drunk and even that’s more like anxiety/paranoia. A bit odd though. Definitely don’t think it looks like cheating. I wouldn’t put an x on a work text though but lots of people do.

Divebar2021 · 21/02/2023 23:53

If that’s flirting it’s the dullest flirting I’ve ever read. I don’t even think she comes across as flirtatious just a bit unprofessional in her manner.

Divebar2021 · 21/02/2023 23:53

Loads of people use xxx in their texts.

Danneigh · 21/02/2023 23:56

Flirty? It's just a whole bunch of messages about Jack Shit

UsingChangeofName · 21/02/2023 23:57

Divebar2021 · 21/02/2023 23:53

If that’s flirting it’s the dullest flirting I’ve ever read. I don’t even think she comes across as flirtatious just a bit unprofessional in her manner.

This.

Blimey, If you consider that flirting, you've clearly never had a conversation with someone who is flirting with you. Which somehow seems a little bit sad.

Hawkins003 · 22/02/2023 00:04

She seems to be thinking of him when apparently she's a bit drunk, as for the x sometimes it's a way to say you care but on a basic level, but the last seems to care more about his perspectives when she's drunk which im guessing is when she is thinking about him more

AbsoluteYawns · 22/02/2023 00:05

The last 3 messages make no sense. It reads as though some have been deleted...could that be the case OP?

butterfliedtwo · 22/02/2023 00:07

If this is flirting, they're shit at it.

Kitkatcatflap · 22/02/2023 00:11

Not flirting, just work colleagues I would say.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/02/2023 00:16

This isn't flirting, this is a work conversation about her quitting and wanting summer work.

What's made you paranoid that you're reaching and copying his messages?

TrishM80 · 22/02/2023 00:47

Ooh, I love it when you text me about shift work!

AllAboardTootToot · 22/02/2023 00:53

If you think this is flirting I would say bigger things are going on in your marriage to go as far as copy/pasting for here.

not one ounce of flirting do I see. Why the insecurity?

Aprilx · 22/02/2023 00:53

I can’t make much sense of the conversation, but it is definitely not flirting. What a strange conclusion.

GoodChat · 22/02/2023 01:29

Presumably the last message means he doesn't need to work or something?

She's a pain in the arse and he should stop replying to her texts if this is his personal phone. She's potentially slightly testing the waters but he's done nothing wrong

704703hey · 22/02/2023 01:59

Just comes across as scatty, and neither of them are very bright! Sorry OP

BadNomad · 22/02/2023 02:22

Does he mean she's flirting with him in person? Because those convos are not flirting. She sounds like a paranoid, insecure drunk though.

Helpimfalling · 22/02/2023 02:37

AbsoluteYawns · 22/02/2023 00:05

The last 3 messages make no sense. It reads as though some have been deleted...could that be the case OP?

This!!

Seewhereitlands · 22/02/2023 02:44

If your husband thinks she is flirting with him, he must think nearly all women are flirting with him all the time by have very generic/basic interactions with him. If a woman does actually flirt with him, he’ll come home telling you a woman initiated foreplay.

She seems to have a problem with alcohol/it makes her depressive and/or anxious and she gets ‘beer fear’, they are discussing work and that’s it, I’ve no idea why he would tell you she was flirting with him based on those messages.

MsCactus · 22/02/2023 02:46

Definitely no flirting - don't understand the posters who say she's flirting.

The whole text exchange is very factual and dull

ukholidayseeker · 22/02/2023 02:47

She is attention seeking or trying to flirt but he is shutting it down and staying professional. She just sounds young.