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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is flirting?

60 replies

balagio · 21/02/2023 23:30

My husband manages a team of people. Recently he has mentioned a female undergrad 'flirting'. The past few weeks the messages have gone like this -

Her - husbands name
Him - yeah?
Her - I hope I I haven't offended you
Him - are you alright?
Her - yeah I'm just drunk.

Months later

Her - Hi name, just to say that I won’t be continuing name youth club on Fridays anymore. Would be willing to do shifts at summer if needed.

Him - That's no bother, I just need u to email me it so I can pass it onto employee services. When do u plan to finish up? Can u make sure to put the date u intend on leaving in the email as well please x

Her - Okay thanks, will email you! Friday passed was my last shift, sorry did try and give a weeks notice (think that’s all I need to give because I’m bank?). I will put that on the letter. As I said, if any shifts come up in summer at name, name and etc then happy to do, I’m just struggling to fit everything in now placement has started. Thanks for all your help past few years and helping me gain experience x

Him - Ye no worries. Email me when u can and il pass it on to formalise it. I'm not sure about notice because it depends on ur contract. If its just time sheets then no notice required. If its contracted then it's minimum of two weeks so il need to check what ur on and get that sorted out but if u can't make this Friday that's fine il try get some cover in. Hope ur placement and uni stuff goes well x

Her - Yeah it’s just timesheets I put in x

Him - Did u not have 4 week contract or anything. Did u and kiera do those interviews? Were they just for Bank staff or were they for the name positions? Sorry just trying to work out a few things. Can't remember because I was off for so long and haven't really caught up on all the contract stuff yet

Her - Yeah the interviews were just for bank positions, not name specifically. As far as I’m aware, I’ve never had a contract x

Him - Thanks

Her - Was that email okay?

Him - Ye should be fine il pass it on and see what they say. Are u wanting to do the flipout trip them if they let me put u in?

Her - When is that?

Him - Not confirmed the date yet but in march on a Friday night

Her - Yeah that’s fine, just let me know

Her - Hey, have I to work name this Friday?xx

Him - If you can please ye

Her - okay, why you being so off with me?

Him - I don't mean to be sorry

Her - drunk and awkward

Him - if it's any consolation, I don't.

Can someone please help me make sense of these? Am I being cheated on?

OP posts:
Legselevens · 22/02/2023 07:36

She has asked why he was being weird or offish. That would lead me to question whether he acted differently with her previously.

Beaglesonlyplease · 22/02/2023 07:42

She didn’t though..! She apologised IF she offended him, sounds as if she was rude to him possibly rather than giving him the glad eye.

Hohohole · 22/02/2023 08:30

Are some messages deleted?

Seewhereitlands · 22/02/2023 08:37

merlotlover · 22/02/2023 07:25

If it's any consolation I'm not

What does that mean? Not going to the away day thing ?

I think he means he’s not being off with her.

The last few messages sounds like either she’s anxious about work and got drunk, or she got drunk and felt anxious about work, asked if she had done something wrong because she felt he’s being off with her, he’s saying he isn’t, she’s explaining she felt like that as she’s drunk and he’s saying well if it makes you feel better I’m not being off with you.

butterpuffed · 22/02/2023 08:40

She's interested , he's not .

ijustneedanamefgs · 22/02/2023 08:47

No it’s sounds like a youth worker and her boss. Those relationships tend to be a bit more casual ime and I assume the text is a personal contact, so the professional will be in the email. The kiss is a bit inappropriate but some people just do that. She sounds young, and daft with the drunk crap. But if certainly doesn’t scream affair.

NeverThatSerious · 22/02/2023 08:51

That was so unbelievably boring to read, honestly I’d be absolutely shocked if that’s anyones idea of flirting. Has he given you any other reason to be concerned because if it is just based on these text exchanges, you’re being daft.

Tiredmum100 · 22/02/2023 08:52

I would say some type of flirting from her point. I think your dh has remained professional.

WimpoleHat · 22/02/2023 08:55

If that’s flirting it’s the dullest flirting I’ve ever read.

Yes. It’s not exactly a script that’s going to get a lot of Hollywood leading men fighting to play your DH, let’s put it like that. It’s just texts about work.

Appleblum · 22/02/2023 09:04

She sounds young and unsure but neither of them are flirting.

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