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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Nursery have been a bit dramatic sending DS home today

76 replies

pag2020 · 21/02/2023 11:55

So the last few weeks have been a bit hellish with DS (19mo) catching illness after illness. He's missed a lot of nursery and DH and I a lot of work. However, we are sensible and will not send him to nursery if he is sick in any way.

He had a bug a week ago, lasted about 3 days. Since then, has been generally fine, bit cranky and a little off his food. Sunday and Monday he has bounced back to his normal self, eating much more, sleeping well, no temp and no D&V since Fri night. Thought, great, he's well enough for Nursery today.

Dropped him off at 8am, he was smiling and happy, and I warned them at the door not to be alarmed at the colour of his dirty nappies as all he's been living off while he was poorly was yoghurt as it's all he would eat. Fast forward to 10:30am - phone call from the Nursery to say he was being sent home immediately and cannot come back for the rest of the week as "it's not diarrhea but they didn't like the look of his nappy and he has been a little cranky".

DH went to pick him up and he's now at home apparently running about the house.

AIBU to think they've been a bit over dramatic here? This is becoming quite the regular thing where they seem to send him home over the smallest things when he is not at all poorly 😣

OP posts:
CorinationStreeter97 · 21/02/2023 11:57

proper dramatic what melons

Original poster
pag2020 · 21/02/2023 12:10

@CorinationStreeter97 glad it's not me then! Going to email the manager this eve to have a polite word

OP posts:
StressedToTheMaxxx · 21/02/2023 12:28

I'd say it was overdramatic. Ask where these nappies that they don't like the look of and crankiness falls within the exclusionary policy.

Thefaceofboe · 21/02/2023 12:32

i work in a nursery and this is so dramatic, but I have seen other staff try to do similar. Can you bring it up with the manager? if it’s not diarrhoea its not up to them to say they don’t like the look of it

sjxoxo · 21/02/2023 12:32

If he’s not passing normal nappies I would still be a bit concerned to be honest. What was he unwell with? Did he see a Dr at all. Any rash or fever etc. It is inconvenient obviously if they send home with no real reason but at the same time if he does have a bug or virus still it could become inconvenient for 30 families or whatever if there is something still lurking. Do they have an official exclusion policy and what is it - I would go by this and your instinct of course. Hope he’s back to himself soon! X

Cuppsoupmonster · 21/02/2023 12:34

YANBU

safetyfreak · 21/02/2023 12:34

Oh dont get me started OP, I have a 17 month old and shes been sent home many times...

Very frustrating, me and DH are just trying get through...hoping once our DD out the baby room they wont be so overcautious.

safetyfreak · 21/02/2023 12:36

Also spoke to the manager but they just fob you off.

Hope you have better luck OP!

sjxoxo · 21/02/2023 12:36

…I’ve written my post on the back of three weeks of nursery absence as there was a stomach bug and Slapped cheek virus that has been passed round, DS has been really really ill with it as have DH & I! So I can see both sides. My approach now following three weeks of hell and no sleep is to be cautious if there’s any sign of illness and I hope other parents feel the same! It has meant I have also been unable to visit a relative who is on end of life care which has been hard.. difficult to get the balance when all the kids are so intertwined. x

Grumpybutfunny · 21/02/2023 12:37

sjxoxo · 21/02/2023 12:32

If he’s not passing normal nappies I would still be a bit concerned to be honest. What was he unwell with? Did he see a Dr at all. Any rash or fever etc. It is inconvenient obviously if they send home with no real reason but at the same time if he does have a bug or virus still it could become inconvenient for 30 families or whatever if there is something still lurking. Do they have an official exclusion policy and what is it - I would go by this and your instinct of course. Hope he’s back to himself soon! X

Most viruses are contagious before symptoms and we have to develop immunity. Honestly at this time of year we always avoided booking holidays as we knew DS would get bug after bug. I would have rather they all mixed whilst infectious in January and got it over with vs January-April being bug season.

KindlyKanga · 21/02/2023 12:38

Hmm.. its tricky isn't it. Maybe next time take a photo of his poo and show them at the door and ask if it's acceptable?

sjxoxo · 21/02/2023 12:38

Grumpybutfunny · 21/02/2023 12:37

Most viruses are contagious before symptoms and we have to develop immunity. Honestly at this time of year we always avoided booking holidays as we knew DS would get bug after bug. I would have rather they all mixed whilst infectious in January and got it over with vs January-April being bug season.

Show quote history

Yes - that’s why I think it is important to establish what the illness is/was to be sure there is no risk of contagion. x

StarsSand · 21/02/2023 12:39

A friend of mine had this happen to her. She found out that the centre routinely overbooked itself on the assumption that some children would be away each day- and then on days where too many children showed up they would look for reasons to send some home asap.

Not saying this is your situation but it sounds like they are being ridiculous.

I'd ask to see a policy and in the absence of one I'd tell them he will be dropped off as usual as you know he is well.

hettie · 21/02/2023 12:40

They have a staffing problem...trust me, it will all be about their ratios...

lazycats · 21/02/2023 12:41

Can you move him to another nursery? This kind of piss-taking would be a deal-breaker for me. Sending home polices seem to vary wildly from talking to friends.

KindlyKanga · 21/02/2023 12:41

hettie · 21/02/2023 12:40

They have a staffing problem...trust me, it will all be about their ratios...

So do you think it's almost best not to say anything? And just see if they notice the kid's poos aren't "normal"? I've often wondered about this

takealettermsjones · 21/02/2023 12:45

Yep. My daughter's nursery sent her home once because she was tired. That's it. No other symptoms, she was just tired that day.

BruceAndNosh · 21/02/2023 12:45

"didn't like the look of his nappy"
Surely that applies to ALL nappy contents! 😖

afinishedkiss · 21/02/2023 12:45

This is ridiculous!

Original poster
pag2020 · 21/02/2023 12:47

Thanks@sjxoxo - I've booked him a Dr's appointment this afternoon just to get a once over and to hopefully keep the Nursery happy! He has not had a rash and did not get one while he was poorly. His temp was a bit high for a couple of days last week when it all started (about mid 38s) but a bit of calpol sorted that out in no time. Not sure exactly what he had, was a bad stomach bug by the looks of it, but by the time we thought we should call a doctor, he started to improve.

Agree with everyone else that it's important to see both sides here and I would be mortified if I sent him in to go on and infect the rest of the kids/staff! However he had been completely fine for 48 hrs before sending him back (already kept him off for a week) - he had one round of diarrhea which was on Friday - none since. The colour of his nappies have been a bit yellow since due to what he's been eating, but the consistency hasn't particularly given me a cause for concern 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
pag2020 · 21/02/2023 12:50

@BruceAndNosh hahahhaha this is very true! Might ask them next time if his nappy of the day looked a bit more appetizing than the last one 😅

OP posts:
StarsSand · 21/02/2023 12:54

hettie · 21/02/2023 12:40

They have a staffing problem...trust me, it will all be about their ratios...

Yeah, this.

They think you're an easy mark because you responsibly keep DS home when he is sick.

You need to start pushing back and then hopefully they'll move on and start trying to pull this crap on another family instead.

Tell them he is completely fine and you'll be dropping him off tomorrow.

Mariposista · 21/02/2023 12:56

I’d be furious. You expressly told them his poos looked different atm due to a dietary change and they have not taken a blind bit of notice and dragged your poor DH out of his job to collect a well child. I hope the dr note gets you the outcome you need for the rest of the week.

Whitewolf2 · 21/02/2023 13:00

I think it all depends on what was in that crucial nappy! If he does still have proper diarrhoea then they are not being unreasonable. If it’s just a discoloured but solid poo they’re having it on. Did they take a photo of it?! In the future I’d insist on that before picking up for ‘illness’.

StatisticallyChallenged · 21/02/2023 13:00

As someone who runs a childcare business - they're taking the piss. Not liking the look of a single nappy is not a reason to send a child home, let alone for the week

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