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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Nursery have been a bit dramatic sending DS home today

76 replies

pag2020 · 21/02/2023 11:55

So the last few weeks have been a bit hellish with DS (19mo) catching illness after illness. He's missed a lot of nursery and DH and I a lot of work. However, we are sensible and will not send him to nursery if he is sick in any way.

He had a bug a week ago, lasted about 3 days. Since then, has been generally fine, bit cranky and a little off his food. Sunday and Monday he has bounced back to his normal self, eating much more, sleeping well, no temp and no D&V since Fri night. Thought, great, he's well enough for Nursery today.

Dropped him off at 8am, he was smiling and happy, and I warned them at the door not to be alarmed at the colour of his dirty nappies as all he's been living off while he was poorly was yoghurt as it's all he would eat. Fast forward to 10:30am - phone call from the Nursery to say he was being sent home immediately and cannot come back for the rest of the week as "it's not diarrhea but they didn't like the look of his nappy and he has been a little cranky".

DH went to pick him up and he's now at home apparently running about the house.

AIBU to think they've been a bit over dramatic here? This is becoming quite the regular thing where they seem to send him home over the smallest things when he is not at all poorly 😣

OP posts:
containsnuts · 21/02/2023 21:40

The problem is that you admitted at dropp off that his nappies were not back to normal, then they witnessed the abnormal nappies and concluded that he has not fully recovered from the illness.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 21/02/2023 21:49

I used to work in early years, you get used to the range of 'normal' nappy contents per child! It does sound as though they were being a bit overcautious but if there's a lot of bugs going round I can see their view too.

KindlyKanga · 21/02/2023 21:58

Whitewolf2 · 21/02/2023 13:00

I think it all depends on what was in that crucial nappy! If he does still have proper diarrhoea then they are not being unreasonable. If it’s just a discoloured but solid poo they’re having it on. Did they take a photo of it?! In the future I’d insist on that before picking up for ‘illness’.

I would be very uncomfortable with nursery staff having a camera anywhere near the nappies

tillylula · 21/02/2023 21:58

Stomach viruses can live in your system for a few weeks after you've stopped D&V.. so I don't blame them for sending him home.

Dunnoburt · 21/02/2023 21:58

So glad my nipper is out of nursery now.....disgusting germ breeding places....I swear we never had a full healthy week!! Nothing will build immunity to Noro, stomach bugs or common cold.... its just a perpetual cycle.....I do think however that in your case the nursery were being unreasonable x

Ivesaidenough · 21/02/2023 22:04

My DS was once asked not to come in after a vaccination. "In case he reacts to it" now that's pre-emptive!

zebrapig · 21/02/2023 22:20

I feel for you OP, over zealous sending home of kids is such a pain as a working parent. Our best one was DS being sent home with an ear infection and being told by the nursery manager it was infectious because it was discharging. I had a massive row with her over it and got my way in the end.

TempyBrennan · 21/02/2023 22:27

Sadly I agree with staffing issues.

our nursery was over subscribed and they forgot my little girl was starting. When she was 20 months.
For the first two months they sent her home at least once a week for various things (she scratched her hand, she napped too early so must be sick, she didn’t eat so must be sick etc)
One day when she was travel sick and I cleaned her up before taking her in (every journey for almost two years she’s been sick, I’m usually better at catching it!) they said they don’t accept travel sick children for 48 hours after. I removed her, and later found out who a friend who started working there they send kids home for anything when they all turn up.

another note, she’s in an amazing child minder now who’s better than nursery ever was! 😂

8misskitty8 · 21/02/2023 22:35

It’s 48 hours exclusion from the last incident of vomiting or diarrhoea, so if the alleged nappy was at 10.30am today then he could return on Thursday at 10.30am.
What was it that they didn’t like the look off ? They said it wasn’t diarrhoea, so what was it.
Id be challenging the reasons why he was sent home and why he is not allowed back until next week. You followed the sickness policy.

Bbqchicken · 21/02/2023 23:05

If he still had diarrhoea after D&V, then he shouldn't have gone back. If it wasn't Diarrhoea and he hasn't been ill for at least 48 hours, then I don't understand why they sent him home or why you felt the need to prewarned them of the poo problem they should expect. You cant blame the only eating yogurt as that would indicate he is still not better as he is not eating properly.
You almost certainly raised their awareness by pointing it out and maybe they would have just waitied to see if he poos again had you not mentioned it.

Not being allowed back for a whole week is unreasonable depending on what days he attends.

Original poster
pag2020 · 22/02/2023 07:42

Bit of an update on this one as it gets a bit interesting. On pick up, the staff told my husband that his nappy was so bad they had to change his clothes as it had gone all down his legs etc. I thought this was strange initially as that's not the consistency we had seen in the last few days. Checked his nursery bag to see these dirty clothes to find that they are COMPLETELY CLEAN. Not a single smudge of mess on there. Something isn't right here 🤔

OP posts:
PissedOffNeighbour22 · 22/02/2023 08:04

We're having trouble with this too with nursery. The kids only started a few weeks ago and we've had a call every day bar one to collect one or both of them.
They are NOT ill. The baby is apparently 'not himself'. How do they know that when they've met him a handful of times?
We're already considering taking them out and I'll have to try to reduce my hours at work.

KindlyKanga · 22/02/2023 08:11

pag2020 · 22/02/2023 07:42

Bit of an update on this one as it gets a bit interesting. On pick up, the staff told my husband that his nappy was so bad they had to change his clothes as it had gone all down his legs etc. I thought this was strange initially as that's not the consistency we had seen in the last few days. Checked his nursery bag to see these dirty clothes to find that they are COMPLETELY CLEAN. Not a single smudge of mess on there. Something isn't right here 🤔

Ask if they mixed him up with another kid?

Shemovesshemoves21 · 22/02/2023 08:15

Dear nursery manager,

I'm concerned regarding the reasons my son is being sent home. As of today, he's been sent home X amount of days with yesterday being the most recent.

I took DS to the doctors yesterday afternoon, and there are no issues in terms of infection.

We were told by X that DS nappy was so bad that it had run down his leg, and the staff had to change him. What I find most concerning is that when checking the 'dirty' clothes, they were completely clean.

Whilst I understand children should be sent home with genuine illness, I don't appreciate being called from work for, what seems to be, absolutely nothing.

I'd appreciate a meeting with you to discuss this as soon as possible.

Regards,

XXXX

Teatime55 · 22/02/2023 08:37

I dropped DD off once and told them she had managed to eat a whole tub of blueberries and it was having an interesting effect on her nappies.
Of course they rang me within a few hours to pick her up because she’d done a funny nappy.

They also made me pick her up after she had chicken pox (and had been fine for nearly a week at home, I was part time) because they thought a pock might not have fully healed. She was fine, I think they had overbooked. But they also rang me on a day loads of trains were cancelled so took me hours to get there anyways.

StarsSand · 22/02/2023 09:22

@Teatime55 the exact thing happened to me last week- blueberries!

Banned for 48 hours in case it was D+V.

I'm the first one to keep Bubs home when they are even a little unwell but that really ground my gears.

Takingthepiss · 22/02/2023 12:53

Okay so how are this little ones so unsupervised that they have access to and manage to consume entire punnets of blueberries. I think I’d be more concerned about that than a shitty nappy if I were those nursery staff

Teatime55 · 22/02/2023 14:40

Jeez she was like 2 and ate them out of a shopping bag. They were like crack to her and she would shovel them in.
Wouldn’t eat one if I paid her now.

mackthepony · 22/02/2023 14:41

Your fault because you mentioned it. It's like a green light for them to send them home

StarsSand · 22/02/2023 17:37

Takingthepiss · 22/02/2023 12:53

Okay so how are this little ones so unsupervised that they have access to and manage to consume entire punnets of blueberries. I think I’d be more concerned about that than a shitty nappy if I were those nursery staff

Lol are you serious? We're talking about blueberries, not poison.

Not unsupervised at all, I served them for breakfast and then nursery had a shared fruit plate for morning tea - containing even more blueberries.

Feel free to call social services if this concerns you. Grin

Shaming people because their children eat a lot of blueberries- peak Mumsnet.

StressedToTheMaxxx · 22/02/2023 23:36

Takingthepiss · 22/02/2023 12:53

Okay so how are this little ones so unsupervised that they have access to and manage to consume entire punnets of blueberries. I think I’d be more concerned about that than a shitty nappy if I were those nursery staff

What an odd, odd comment.

Takingthepiss · 23/02/2023 01:04

StarsSand · 22/02/2023 17:37

Lol are you serious? We're talking about blueberries, not poison.

Not unsupervised at all, I served them for breakfast and then nursery had a shared fruit plate for morning tea - containing even more blueberries.

Feel free to call social services if this concerns you. Grin

Shaming people because their children eat a lot of blueberries- peak Mumsnet.

Show quote history

So from PP’s nurseries have Sent young children home because they got the shits from eating blueberries … whole packs of them from the accounts given?

as you said they are blueberries not poison so realistically how many does a kid have to eat to get that sick that they start with the shits?

At the end of the day if food is out and young pre school children are eating they should be supervised for a start irrespective of whether it’s blueberries or not to prevent accidental choking (and yes it absolutely does happen)

and if they were being properly supervised how does ONE child out of 5/6 manage to eat a whole pack of blueberries to themselves?

WishingMyLifeAway · 23/02/2023 03:49

I'd have refused to collect him on that basis and asked to speak to the manager about their policy. You are paying them to look after your child. Presumably because you need to be at work. They can't just remove a service you've paid for for no good reason. They are taking the absolute piss. You need to be much more assertive with them.

StarsSand · 23/02/2023 04:00

@Takingthepiss

They don't get sick, it just changes their bowel movements.

Again, my son didn't sneak them. I fed him a punnet after breakfast because they are in season where I live and then I am assuming he went to town on the communal fruit platter at nursery because he is a blueberry fiend.

Supervised the whole time.

And completely well (better than well- happy as a clam and full of antioxidants) Just a strange nappy - the same as if he ate beetroot.

I hope you are reassured.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 23/02/2023 04:19

Namechangedagain20 · 21/02/2023 13:08

This seems to have become an issue in nurseries since Covid. DD1 went to nursery 5 years ago. She would get sent home if unwell and a temperature couldn’t be controlled or she didn’t perk up after calpol or she had d&v. Just a bit off and they would watch and see how she got on.

I know someone with DC there now and they are sent home for the smallest thing. I think since Covid when they were sent home for temperatures and runny noses the staff have gotten used to that approach and seem to be sticking with it.

My eldest is 5 and nurseries have always sent home for temp here. No temp needing calpol within 24 hours. As a parent of a child with febrile seizures anyone who send a kid to nursey with a fever is irresponsible and selfish.