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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Nursery have been a bit dramatic sending DS home today

76 replies

pag2020 · 21/02/2023 11:55

So the last few weeks have been a bit hellish with DS (19mo) catching illness after illness. He's missed a lot of nursery and DH and I a lot of work. However, we are sensible and will not send him to nursery if he is sick in any way.

He had a bug a week ago, lasted about 3 days. Since then, has been generally fine, bit cranky and a little off his food. Sunday and Monday he has bounced back to his normal self, eating much more, sleeping well, no temp and no D&V since Fri night. Thought, great, he's well enough for Nursery today.

Dropped him off at 8am, he was smiling and happy, and I warned them at the door not to be alarmed at the colour of his dirty nappies as all he's been living off while he was poorly was yoghurt as it's all he would eat. Fast forward to 10:30am - phone call from the Nursery to say he was being sent home immediately and cannot come back for the rest of the week as "it's not diarrhea but they didn't like the look of his nappy and he has been a little cranky".

DH went to pick him up and he's now at home apparently running about the house.

AIBU to think they've been a bit over dramatic here? This is becoming quite the regular thing where they seem to send him home over the smallest things when he is not at all poorly 😣

OP posts:
Beaverbridge · 21/02/2023 13:02

Ridiculous the amount of times they phone my DD with the slightest excuse to pick my GD up. So I deffo think YANBU. My GD also comes out with scratches on her face and when it gets queried, they don't know how it happens.

Namechangedagain20 · 21/02/2023 13:08

This seems to have become an issue in nurseries since Covid. DD1 went to nursery 5 years ago. She would get sent home if unwell and a temperature couldn’t be controlled or she didn’t perk up after calpol or she had d&v. Just a bit off and they would watch and see how she got on.

I know someone with DC there now and they are sent home for the smallest thing. I think since Covid when they were sent home for temperatures and runny noses the staff have gotten used to that approach and seem to be sticking with it.

ShimmeringShirts · 21/02/2023 13:18

Agree with staffing ratios being the reason for this, they’ll send the kids home for no reason and still charge for the day, greedy bastards they are.

R0ckets · 21/02/2023 13:23

Agree with those saying it will be due to staffing problems and ratios. If you hadn't said anything at drop off about his nappies they wouldn't have called.

They know you're responsible and that you will collect your child so they see you as an easy target in lowering their numbers.

Original poster
pag2020 · 21/02/2023 13:25

Thank you everyone! I wasn't sure what response to expect on here as I thought I may have been acting irrationally as both I and DH are getting stressed with missing so much work the last few weeks!

I'm trying to build up the courage to email the manager but am not the best with confrontation and not sure how to word it without coming across as being an arse hole tbh! Any advice welcomed! x

OP posts:
Wrongsideofpennines · 21/02/2023 13:29

I've seen a few similar posts recently about this kind of thing and generally it's boiled down to nurseries being under staffed. I would guess its this with their suggestion he will need to be off for the whole week. If he has had diarrhoea this morning then in theory he could return on Friday no problem.

I would email the manager and explain he has had no diarrhoea since Friday, and the person who called you to pick him up today confirmed that it was not diarrhoea and as he has no symptoms and is well enough to return he will be doing so tomorrow.

Takingthepiss · 21/02/2023 13:35

Try having them sent home because their “ear was hot” after they’d just had an hour nap on it.

Genuinely nursery made me want to lose my marbles sometimes. I very firmly put my foot down with them and told them to get a grip. They did

Soakitup37 · 21/02/2023 13:38

Yanbu, this is redic.

Original poster
pag2020 · 21/02/2023 13:39

@Takingthepiss Oh christ 😩

The best one we had was they sent him home and tried to exclude him for another 48 hrs based on the fact that "he has an ear infection". Took him straight to the GP to be laughed at that DS just had a waxy ear hole 💁fml. Safe to say I took him straight back that day

OP posts:
Nocutenamesleft · 21/02/2023 13:43

pag2020 · 21/02/2023 12:47

Thanks@sjxoxo - I've booked him a Dr's appointment this afternoon just to get a once over and to hopefully keep the Nursery happy! He has not had a rash and did not get one while he was poorly. His temp was a bit high for a couple of days last week when it all started (about mid 38s) but a bit of calpol sorted that out in no time. Not sure exactly what he had, was a bad stomach bug by the looks of it, but by the time we thought we should call a doctor, he started to improve.

Agree with everyone else that it's important to see both sides here and I would be mortified if I sent him in to go on and infect the rest of the kids/staff! However he had been completely fine for 48 hrs before sending him back (already kept him off for a week) - he had one round of diarrhea which was on Friday - none since. The colour of his nappies have been a bit yellow since due to what he's been eating, but the consistency hasn't particularly given me a cause for concern 🤔

Problem is. You'll have people who have relatives on chemo. So stomach bugs could kill then. A cold or a fever but I would of said they were slightly over cautious

But a stomach bug. No way. They can kill people.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 21/02/2023 13:44

What a piss take! Why a whole week?

Whats the sickness policy? Mine is 48 hours since the last episode of D or V, so even if they were going to argue this counts as D, then I would be saying he would be due back Wednesday once his nappies return to normal.

This feels like it goes beyond the normal levels of trying to minimise infection risk.

R0ckets · 21/02/2023 13:47

Problem is. You'll have people who have relatives on chemo. So stomach bugs could kill then. A cold or a fever but I would of said they were slightly over cautious

But a stomach bug. No way. They can kill people.

He doesn't have a stomach bug though and to be honest even if he did 99% of children who attend childcare will be in nursery or school before the symptoms become apparent so will already have spread the germs before they become unwell.

If a person's relatives were at that great a risk anyone with any sense wouldn't have them anywhere near a toddler they are basically a walking germ factory on legs.

Coffeecoffeeinmytummy · 21/02/2023 13:58

This is one of the reasons why we use a childminder!

sjxoxo · 21/02/2023 14:13

R0ckets · 21/02/2023 13:47

Problem is. You'll have people who have relatives on chemo. So stomach bugs could kill then. A cold or a fever but I would of said they were slightly over cautious

But a stomach bug. No way. They can kill people.

He doesn't have a stomach bug though and to be honest even if he did 99% of children who attend childcare will be in nursery or school before the symptoms become apparent so will already have spread the germs before they become unwell.

If a person's relatives were at that great a risk anyone with any sense wouldn't have them anywhere near a toddler they are basically a walking germ factory on legs.

It’s not the toddler being in direct contact - as you say most people wouldn’t have a toddler at nursery in contact with someone very vulnerable etc; it’s the child being in contact with the rest of the family and then the rest of the family carrying bugs about that was the risk in our case. x

Coffeeandcrocs · 21/02/2023 14:15

Crikey, they'd hate my DS who has toddler diarrhea and hasn't had a consistent normal poo in months 😁 if he's otherwise well eith no temp/feeling fine/not lethargic, they're completely OTT

PaulRuddDoesntAge · 21/02/2023 14:16

My DD has pale poos for at least a week or two after a bug. They would never send her home for this.

I am very lucky our nursery has always adopted a “we will always try and keep them at nursery even if they’re not 100% and will only send home when we feel like they are too poorly to be here” mentality. Obviously they have the usual exclusion periods for D&V though.

In the 2.5 years she’s been going she’s only been sent home twice and both times she was indeed very poorly.

LemonPeonies · 21/02/2023 14:23

But most baby's poo is pretty much diarrhoea at that age, doesn't mean they're ill! I would refuse to pick them up tbh. In my job and my DP''s we wouldn't be able to leave unless an absolute emergency anyway as there's often no one to cover.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 21/02/2023 14:31

Our nursery started sending DS home loads, either with an alleged temperature or diarrhoea which then magically disappeared as soon as he was collected.

I complained to nursery. Said that they weren’t following their policy (3 vomits or upset nappies before parents asked to collect). said I wanted photos of the sick, poo thermometer etc.

Stressed how difficult it is for us to drop everything, that of course we will because we worry about DS, but the frustration when we do so and he’s absolutely fine!!

amazingly it all stopped! 🧐

Milky4 · 21/02/2023 14:33

Yep, very dramatic. Especially saying the rest of the week!

And cranky is not a reason either!!!!

Speak to the manager - ask them if they are struggling with staff ratios....because it's likely that's the actual reason.

RocketPanda · 21/02/2023 14:43

I would agree with the others that this is most likely a staffing issue and they know you will keep him home.
Part of the reason why I used childminders when my children were young.

LolaSmiles · 21/02/2023 14:53

It sounds like they have a creative approach to sending children home.

On the other hand our nursery was always very common sense about it and they would send home if poos were different to normal, so if a child was normally looser in their nappies they wouldn't get sent home, but if it was looser than usual they would. Like others posters ours was 2-3 poos different from normal or if it was quite obviously diarrhoea.

I would ask for clarification in writing regarding their policy for sending home children.

fruitandfibreg · 21/02/2023 14:59

I find it crazy the amount they send kids home for stuff like this! Nursery isn't cheap!!

Ndhdiwntbsivnwg · 21/02/2023 21:10

My DD got sent home today with a fever of 37.1 and a rash, which is literally a small pimple nothing more. “Chickenpox”
Funny part is, even tho she’s well she can’t go back in for 48 hours due to high temp. I get it, but this is too much. She wasn’t under the weather, eating well etc…

PaulRuddDoesntAge · 21/02/2023 21:18

Ndhdiwntbsivnwg · 21/02/2023 21:10

My DD got sent home today with a fever of 37.1 and a rash, which is literally a small pimple nothing more. “Chickenpox”
Funny part is, even tho she’s well she can’t go back in for 48 hours due to high temp. I get it, but this is too much. She wasn’t under the weather, eating well etc…

37.1?! That is not a high temp. Did you not challenge?

Itsrudemeghan · 21/02/2023 21:22

It’s 100% the staffing ratios behind this