My DS is obsessed with numbers

[Driedlavender]

He turned 4 in October.
I often feel embarrassed telling people or people finding out as I feel they may think it’s bragging or something.

There’s no other way to describe his connection with numbers, he absolutely loves them. He wants to know the biggest numbers in the world, he’s even talking about minus numbers now.
He can add and multiply in his head, he doubles numbers constantly and asks us to check on our phone calculator whether his answer is correct.
He loves numberblocks the CBeebies programme and watches it often.
Numbers make him happy.

Alongside that, he can read, they send home the Biff and Chip books and he reads then without any hesitation.
He also wants to know the specific names of colours, for example magenta.
For a while he wanted to know about the periodic table and the human body…it’s like he wants to learn constantly and his brain never rests.

His speech is fine, but to get him on a subject other than what he’s currently focused on is a struggle at times. He even says things like “But why can’t I talk about numbers, I want to talk about them all the time”. So he’s totally aware he’s doing it, he just wants to continue.

I have noticed it causing problems with social engagement with other children of his own age. He finds adults to speak to, as he wants to ask them questions about numbers and whatever else he’s interested in at the time (mostly numbers).
He asks the age of everyone we meet, adults usually humour him and tell him their age, then he’ll say how many years until you are … and then ask them to work it out, at which point they look at me and smile, some will continue to answer but some just aren’t interested which is obviously fair enough!

He’s a very friendly, sweet, confident and at times very funny boy, but I don’t know if we’re looking at something more e.g. ASD. DP (his dad) who is very similar in lots of ways (maths and science brain) thinks he’s just clever and people don’t need a label all the time , in his words.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading.

It sounds like he could have ASD. Have you spoken to his teacher about it?

Not really, as nothing has been brought up at school , at the moment this is just me wondering.

Or exceptionally bright especially if he's dad is similar. Time will tell.

By the way, my DS was fascinated by numbers too at this age. He is now an accountant!

Good. We need all of the mathematicians we can get! Your son sounds a delight. Just keep encouraging him in his interests.

I agree with his dad; don't get him labeled. Just enjoy him for who he is and for what he's into at the moment.
Let him enjoy posters and toys that show the beauty of numbers.

I'm with your DH on this.

Smart and engaged doesn't need a label. Maybe it's a phase, maybe he'll be a genius. Just keep encouraging his learning 🙌

I'm also with your DH.

Encourage his interests.

He sounds lovely.

My son is just like this this and he’s an absolute joy. He’s ten now but I remember the numberblocks days with much fondness. His love of numbers opened ia world to both him and me and we have been taken through very many passions of his. Currently maps and fish and climate change and politics. He’s exceptionally bright like his dad but has an asd diagnosis which manifests itself mainly with poor sleep and anxiety.

I bought him an Osborne’s periodic table book when he was into that and also many books on the body. Feed him! My son says he just has an insatiable need to knowledge and we try to facilitate that as much as is reasonable.

My brother was like this - people told my mum to send him to a school for gifted children but she wanted to make sure focus wasn't lost in his social skills which, like your DS, needed some work, as he just wanted to read. And also he needed help with motor skills a bit.

He achieved very well at school, went to Oxbridge; these days people might raise suggestions of ASD for a child like him but while I think my family as a whole is somewhat neurodiverse I don't think anyone would think as him as on the spectrum as an adult.

Is he still in nursery?

All very well saying don't get him labelled but if he struggles with social interaction as he gets older he may need help. At 4 they can be very self obsessed but as they get older they do need to realise people have different interests.

What is DH like in social situations?

DP (his dad) who is very similar in lots of ways (maths and science brain) thinks he’s just clever and people don’t need a label all the time , in his words.

He may just like numbers and be clever. There’s lots of NT children like that.

If he does have autism, you may find that a ‘label’ is needed at some point. A diagnosis has been necessary to get my child the necessary adjustments at school so that she can cope with it. Many kids with ASD find as they get older their problems increase, especially around social interaction. And you’ve already mentioned there’s issues there.

See how he goes.

Yes my 2 children with ASD are like that except one has dyslexia so the reading was slower but she is a numerical whizz. Schools often don’t pick up ASD if kids can mask so keep an eye out yourself and see what you think.

Both my children were like this. DS is now 10, has branched out into more typical interests (mostly gaming), is hopefully off to grammar school next year and as far as we know is neurotypical. DD is now 7 and awaiting an ASD diagnosis.

Restricted interests, difficulties with social communication and early proficiency in reading (although you don't specify what level he's on) are all linked to autism. It's a very long pathway to diagnosis so if you do want to find out, which doesn't change who he is, think about initiating the assessment process.

A diagnosis isn't a label.

Sounds exactly like my son was. He has ASD, high functioning, now has a first in Maths and a great job, friends and relationship so don't worry!

We didn't have him assessed until his early teens as it caused him zero problems till then so we didn't see the point in a label, though I was very confident of the diagnosis. Once it started to cause him problems (bullying at school) we had him assessed and diagnosed and he really found it helpful to have that label at that point as it helped him to understand why he was 'different' and why some other kids were arseholes to him.

That's my recommendation - have him assessed at whatever point in the future you think he will find it helpful or not at all, you know your own child best.

Do people think you’re bragging because you bring it up for no reason when you don’t appear to actually have a genuine question?

My DS is three and loves numbers too - he always has. He can count to well over 100, he knows his timestables, he knows his square numbers, he knows his cube numbers, he knows a lot of his prime numbers… that said, he absolutely cannot understand the word “she” or “her” or any female pronouns, he still insists in pooing in his night time nappy and he won’t let me cut his toenails without a full-blown tantrum.

I can’t see any reason why it causes any issues with his social engagement. Lots and lots and lots of children like numbers and children will talk about almost anything.

He doesn’t sound that unusual - all children have strengths and weaknesses. All children have interests. Praise his strengths and encourage his interests.

I agree with your husband

Your DC sounds amazing! You must be so proud 🥰

Quite.

Let’s hope this isn’t just another way to bash ND. I’ll be kind and give the benefit of the doubt at the moment. Let’s see how the thread goes though. I bet certain posters will turn up. 😉

@AFluster it really isn't usual to know cube numbers at 3.

Getting a diagnosis and help is a long winded affair, especially now when services are at their limits. I would be looking at helping him with social interaction

Yeah, DS (now 10) loved that Usbourne lift the flaps periodic table book when he was younger. DD1 at that age was a complete sponge and would come home from school and regurgitate the entire lesson plan. Other parents would complain their kids were learning nothing and I'd be think 'Well they were taught all about 4'33 by John Cage yesterday afternoon'.

Sounds like he's bright, and his social skills sound about normal for 4 year olds. They're all a bit obsessed with their current interest and aren't good at thinking about others.

This ^^

They don't hand out 'labels' because you've asked for them, those parents who have children who have a diagnosis will have probably battled very hard to get their child's 'label'.

To be honest he does sound like he might have some markers of being neurodiverse so it would probably be worth discussing with his teacher. He may cope OK now but as he gets older you may find having that 'label' very useful.

Every child I’ve ever met has unusual knowledge in their specific area of interest. My DS likes numbers but he couldn’t name very many insects (for example), a 3yo with an interest in insects might not know their cube numbers but they’d know what an Asian hornet is.

I don’t think it’s unusual for children to have unusual knowledge of one or two specific areas of interest.