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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

childminders on MN when someone is paying them to look after their dc

276 replies

shinola · 08/02/2008 22:55

am looking for a childminder so has a look athe childminders and staffroom bit of mumsntet

and see loads of messages from childminder, in work hours on line, in time they are be paid to work by us hard working mums, moaning about us hard working mums.

how dare they? I mean, if you are going to moan, do it in your own time

I don't have time to go on mumnset when I'm with ds, how do they find the time? what happens to the kis they look after? and t add insult to injury they are using their paid time to moan about people who are paying them

but not even that, I can't believe any reputable childminder or nanny can be on mumsnet when they are supposed to be looking after kids

money for old rope

OP posts:
MamaGotMassiveNorks · 09/02/2008 11:28

ooh thanks Mo (I see my name change was ab it obvious then!!)

alfiesbabe · 09/02/2008 11:34

The loo? Kaymac, if you were a teacher you'd know that you don't get loo breaks!! Seriously, many teachers hang on all day with legs crossed. I often realise that I need a wee when I arrive at work at 8 ish and if I don't have one before registration at 8.45 then I probably won't get one for several hours!

alfiesbabe · 09/02/2008 11:35

shinola - you may be new but get your fact right! I never said I spend vast amounts of time researching on the internet!! If you look back i think that was katymac!

shinola · 09/02/2008 11:38

god alfiesbabe - so sorry

total newbie mistake

I've just realised that the name of the person writing the thread appears at the top of it, not at the bottom, hence my mistake

so, as I said, but addressed to Katymac

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 09/02/2008 11:39

I do actually see where you're coming from shinola, however if you actually add up the times that us cms are posting, it probably only adds up to about 30min each. You will also note that a lot of the posts contain the words, 'just quick, whilst the mindees are asleep' or 'just quickly before I go to playgroup'

I does sometimes seem that a lot of us have deglected our charges, but it really isn't like that. For a start, many of us have part timers, so have an hour here and there to chat and catch up. We also spend a lot of time pooling craft ideas together. During the Christmas period, for example, there were loads of craft ideas being posted. All for the benefit of minded children.

Oh, look at me! I said I wouldn't explain myself!

Please don't be put off of cm's, because of what you see on the CM boards. We really are nice people, who do care very much for the children we mind and have made ourselves better minders, through the thoughts and experience of others on here.

smeeinit · 09/02/2008 11:39

alfiesbabe, ive been a T.A in junior school and cant remeber many times when teachers didnt get a lunch break of sorts
may not be the full 45mins but they ALL got their break and lunch and a cuppa in the staff room.

PaulaYatesbiggestFan · 09/02/2008 11:42

if my childs carer went on the internet i would have a fit
it would be a deal breaker

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 09/02/2008 11:46

Mumsnet is clearly a dangerous influence and none of should be on here.

Leave now, for the sake of your sanity and your childrens future!

smeeinit · 09/02/2008 11:51

a deal breaker?

why does it state in your contract that your child carer wont use the internet whilst your dc is in his/her care?

alfiesbabe · 09/02/2008 11:51

I'm not in a Junior school smmeinit - and I'm a middle manager- I can promise you most staff don't even make it to the staff room at break!! I'm not complaining - i love my job and I think teaching is just about the most worthwhile job you can do. But being at home on maternity leave when my 3 kids were small was a breeze in comparison - yeah, they followed me to the loo, but at least I could choose when I wanted to go there!

belgo · 09/02/2008 12:11

Paulyatesbiggestfan- even if your children were happy and content in her care? What if your childminder uses the phone whilst looking after your children?

LoveMyGirls · 09/02/2008 12:21

Lets get a few things straight here.....
Cm's shouldn't post on mn during working hours, they should do it in leisure time? So does that mean in my leisure time I should never do anything work related? This week alone - that is outside my working day from what i can remember i have sent an email at 9.20pm I have made 3 phonecalls and 1 text at 7.30pm on a friday night, I will also be buying equiptment for activities for the forth coming week and food for mindees plus tidying up the garden and adding a seat in my car as well as finding a car seat and putting it in the car. I spend sunday evenings cleaning the house so it is clean ready for the children arriving at 7am the next day! I also do paperwork outside my working hours, especially my accounts because i can't do those with children about because i need to concentrate and also the recieps wouldnt be in neat piles for long! Therefore if i happen to find 5 mins during the working day to post work related issues or sometimes not!

Also when i'm reading a thread or posting because it's not a rl conversation i can drop it and pick it back up again later, sometimes it can take hours to write a post it doesnt all have to be done in one go as you wrongly assume.

If you sent your child to nursery would you expect the staff to have conversations at all? What if they talked about things that happen outside work?

Childminding can be a very lonely job and I think the more support we have the better it is for us and the children in our care, we can ask questions get advice/ reassurance. Yes we have a bit of a moan it keeps us sane as does everyone who works and even sahm's, everyone moans especially the english!

I think you're views are ridiculous to be perfectly frank.

Also earlier you say cm's have many children and hinted it was unlikely to all sleep at the same time - I'm a professional my children have good routines and yes they do sleep at the same time most days. It's about being organised which you have to be in this job.

LoveMyGirls · 09/02/2008 12:27

I also work 11 hours per day, how many breaks would that entitle me to in an office/ in a hospital/ in a hairdressers etc?

MaureenMLove · 09/02/2008 12:31

And breathe, LMG!

cory · 09/02/2008 12:44

I am someobdy who has employed different childminders over a period of 11 years and seen different styles.

Our first CM was a woman of whom I am sure the OP would have approved. She was incredibly conscientious, she had all the certificates, had read everything and spent all her day on worthwhile activities. We were getting absolute maximum value for every minute we paid her for.

The problem was, it wasn't very good for our children. We started noticing that they were always tired and grizzly at picking up time. Then they started not wanting to go. Then they started seeming really unhappy when her name was mentioned.

When dd was old enough to articulate how she felt we realised what the problem was. Not that CM was unkind or cruel, nothing like that at all. But they could never relax in her house because she was constantly breathing down their necks. Constantly minding them. Constantly expecting to do things with them.

It may have been giving us maximum value, as her employers, but it was very hard work for young children.

We changed to a more relaxed CM, the kind who maintains a balance between interesting activities and not-doing-very-much-at-all, and everybody was a lot happier.

I really can't understand the posters who compare a CM's work with that of a cleaner or and office worker. Carpets are not young children- they can stand being worked on a lot more intensely. Though if you cleaned the carpets non-stop for 8 hours 5 days a week, even they might start looking a bit the worse for wear

If you work in an office, your work has been designed around the assumption that it can be done non-stop for a normal working day; otherwise, your employer would not have employed a full-time worker to do it. YOu do the work and then you stop.

Child-minding is different; someone has to be around even at times when you can't do much with them, and that is part of the CM's job, as much as of the SAHM. You can't cram all the active minding into an 8 hour day, by being more intense.

MaureenMLove · 09/02/2008 12:48

Cory, just a small thing. You don't employ childminders, they are self employed and you use their services. Not a good term to use, to keep your cm sweet!

Kiddi · 09/02/2008 13:00

Have to Shinola, I am a CM and have often wandered myself how minders find time to be on comp all day, and it did concern me. I work 645am to 630 ish mon - fri and also never seems to get to go to the loo. I may think on way back from morning school run, i need the loo then realise when I nearly wet my self after lunch that i have not been yet!
My point being, it always used to concern me how colleagues watched the soaps, BUt a new year resolution was this year i have decided to make a point of watching either doctors or neighbours any day I am home. This is not about the telly, but about the practice of sitting down for 20 mins midday and recharging body and brain and eating lunch whilst stationery. Most times I miss what is going on because I am reading playcare, nursery world, the new EYFS, do a childs observation or diary, BUt I am usually sat down at least.
As part of my healthy early years setting awards a main section is the well being of staff etc, and working for ourselves is aparamount we look after ourselves well.

You may be thinking where are the children during this time? they are usually finishing lunch, clearing away, preparing for a sleep, or reading each other stories. in the next room but about 10 ft away thru an open doorway. thye are 1 3 and 4 and know that it is the calm time during the day, which so far has worked well for us all.
Its all about planning, purpose and moderation in my opinion.
yes I know Ronnie ran off with the baby, and the tomboy got run over by the teacher but I also know my after schoolers have more craft/baking/messy play prepared for the days they not a ballet or swimming or sports. and my preschoolers have some down time too in our busy fun filed days.

cory · 09/02/2008 13:03

Fair enough, Maureen, I never did use it to her (wouldn't have dared, she was older than me and very clearly in charge). Just picking up the language of earlier posts.
My point was that it would be very unfair to expect a young child's day to be totally geared to making her parents feel they are getting value for money.
And I don't grudge CMs the odd moment of relaxation either. Why are they supposed to do during the times when the child needs to play on their own? Stare at the wall?

MaureenMLove · 09/02/2008 13:16

I know you weren't being rude! I'm not actually wound up by the comments on here, tbh. Its my business how I conduct my day and my mindees couldn't be happier. I liked your points too. Children need down time as much as adults. I even let them watch the TV sometimes!

smeeinit · 09/02/2008 13:20

good post cory.
agree with mo tho, if you want to keep a cm sweet dont refer to us as being employed by the parents!

vInTaGeVioLeT · 09/02/2008 14:01

cory that was a lovely post and i'm glad you found a c/m that the whole family was happy with

i don't think anyone could ever accuse me of over-minding i mainly let 'em get on with it and they're all very happy and laidback sometimes even reluctant to leave

BoysAreLikeDogs · 09/02/2008 14:18

Cor blimey

What a full and frank exchange of views

To the OP, hope you have read all the replies and that they have clarified a few points for you.

And welcome to MN

KatyMac · 09/02/2008 14:41

Actually all my parent know I am researching on the internet for my nursery

Most of them are planning on using my nursery & all knew either before they signed up or as soon as it was confirmed (april ish last year) that I wouldn't be childminding any more

Their children are cared for in an Outstanding setting by a team of NVQ3 qualified childminders, several (very well trained) registered assistants including one who is level 5 qualified and 6 months off completing a degree. I don't think they are worried about my internet use

crace · 09/02/2008 17:26

I am actually buoyed by the positive comments from parents and this didn't end being a hate the c/m ers. So thanks everyone for that..

And just to say AGAIN, my posts are always done while mindees are sleeping or not even here. And it's a great resource for us, I am not going to apologise for using the c/m staff room to bounce off ideas or have a small moan.

duchesse · 09/02/2008 17:43

Don't know about anybody else's children but when mine were small (until the youngest was about 3-4), I hardly sat from one end of the day to the other. Was the thinnest I've ever been. If they went quiet I could guarantee they were up to no good- like unrolling an entire roll of loo paper and pushing it down the loo, flushing several times just to make sure the pan was really full. Just to quote one example.

Despite my hyper-vigilance, my son had had about four sets of stitches/glue/butterfly strips by the age of 5. So am always very jealous of anybody who can sit down for any length with smalls about.

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