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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wearing a white dress to a hen do

63 replies

DancingInSeptember · 19/02/2023 22:16

Just as the title says - AIBU to think you don’t wear a white dress to a hen do that you are a bridesmaid for?
(Name changed for this, there is of course a backstory to this but I was the bride and aware my opinion will be influenced by the situation!)

OP posts:

VirtualRealitee · 19/02/2023 23:09

pippabg · 19/02/2023 22:35

I don't think it's anything to be annoyed about, but I wouldn't do it as I know it's pretty common now for the bride to wear white on her hen do to mark herself out from the rest of the hens. The person who did it wouldn't have had any ill intentions, just probably not thought about it - please don't lose any friendships over it! If you're annoyed, I'd try to move on from it.

I wouldn't do it as I know it's pretty common now for the bride to wear white on her hen do to mark herself out from the rest of the hens.

But it doesn't.

Literally no-one who saw the group would even know it was a hen night unless they wore the obligatory sash/plastic tiara/L plate etc, and if they did that the bride would obviously have 'Bride' or something on her.

Without all that tacky stuff, it's just a normal group of women on a night out to any other people.

TheJugs · 19/02/2023 23:10

I wouldnt wear white, but I wouldn't give a shit if it was my hen and someone did. There's real issues in the world.

quinceh · 19/02/2023 23:14

Perhaps the backstory would change things, but on the face of it totally unreasonable and odd to care what someone wears to a hen do. Did you stipulate a dress code of some sort?

user1477391263 · 19/02/2023 23:17

Oh, God, what is the next “rule” going to be? Guests cannot wear white at ANY social events where the bride is also there once the engagement is announced?

The bridezilla shit seriously needs to be reined in. So boring and petty.

MavisMcMinty · 19/02/2023 23:19

Maybe the barman (or someone) said “Which one’s the bride then, you in the white dress, I’m guessing?” and Bridie felt stolen thundered.

ThreeLittleDots · 19/02/2023 23:28

Avoiding white at a hen night isn't a thing.

Anyone pissed off with a guest wearing white at a hen do, isn't a true friend to that person and is spoiling for a fight.

You don't treat friends/ family like that.

Babooshka1990 · 19/02/2023 23:32

This would never occur to me. Some people need to get a life

GodSaveTheClean · 19/02/2023 23:33

Unless she wore it whilst straddling your spouse to be then YABU

DarkShade · 19/02/2023 23:57

GodSaveTheClean · 19/02/2023 23:33

Unless she wore it whilst straddling your spouse to be then YABU

😂Fantastic. Unless OP comes back with an update I'll assume that this is the reason she's mad.

There is no dress code for a hen do, unless you specifically said that only you are wearing white (and if you did, you're a bridezilla I'm afraid)

ComeTheFckOnBridget · 20/02/2023 00:01

If you're that concerned about someone else being mistaken for the bride, maybe you could wear a big sign or, I don't know, sash, that says Bride To Be on it? And a fake veil?

Toucan123 · 20/02/2023 00:01

This is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. There are no rules about what colour anyone should wear to a hen do (nor should there be!).

Ashorthistoryfan · 20/02/2023 00:37

pippabg · 19/02/2023 22:35

Yes, this.
At the last hen-do I was part of, the bride-to-be did wear white.
She also wore white the day after the wedding when they hosted another party for family and friends. So at least 3 white outfits that I know of, but two of them were fairly casual (ie normal night out/party wear not bridal wear except maybe the colour I suppose).
I sort of assumed wearing white at hens might be a thing now, but it's obviously not a well-known 'rule'.

Riri24 · 20/02/2023 00:40

Was there was an agreed dress code ie. The bride is wearing white for the hen so everyone else please wear colour? If there was no dress code then I can't see anything wrong with it at all! It's not the wedding...

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