To ask for only on Mumsnet facts/opinions? ( light-hearted)

[bluelollipop99]

I'll start....

It doesn't matter you have two kids and have lived together five years , he's your boyfriend, not your partner if you are not married...

You are a terrible mother if you introduce a partner of less than two years to your children...

The on the beach advert is mentally scarring...

I actually think the criticism of ‘needs’ and the ‘oh, I suppose everyone is neurodiverse now’ here is pretty typical of what we see on other Mumsnet threads.

You may as well just take a dump on your pillow if you use it (according to MN) 🤣

I know. I find it strange when woman say this.... 🤔 is it a new trend to show something 'we are pregnant ' when announcement is made

If your MiL gives your DH a larger portion of dinner than you, this is a “penis portion” and is vile and misogynistic behaviour.

She should give you both equal amounts on your plate regardless of whether he’s a foot taller, 4 stone heavier or does a manual job.

Stepmums must never complain about anything as they knew what they were signing up to.

You shouldn't parent a stepchild even if they live with you 50% of the time. You are too involved and need to take a step back.

Every detail of a story must be presented all at once. Any additional information is a drip feed.

If someone ignores your texts and cancels plans with you constantly it's not that they are a crap friend, they just have a life and you're too needy.

They all live rural in a rather large detached home. Of course they’re very high earners so it’s easily affordable. This makes them soooo much more important than the rest of us. The reason their chicken lasts a month is obviously due to their massive salad eating habits.

Gawd this thread is even more hilarious now reading other threads and seeing some of these responses. I'm almost loling 🤣

You can't ever disclose the nature of your job role / spouses job role, nature of issue bothering you, scenario that happened to you as it's "too outing"

If your baby doesn’t sleep through the night at six weeks and requires human interaction they are a high needs baby.

If you live with a man and he doesn’t pay towards your mortgage he is an abusive cocklodger. If you move in with a man and he doesn’t put you on the mortgage while charging you £0 he is financially abusive.

Financially supporting and even loving your child after 16 is for idiots.

Cycling is outing.

Every detail of a story must be presented all at once. Any additional information is a drip feed.

Yes but if its a long OP that will be wrong as well because TLDR. Mumsnetters are very busy and important don't you know!

There are parts of the country where Mumsnetters cannot leave their home with being approached/mauled by off lead dogs.

Having a bath is disgusting, wallowing in your own filth. You will come out dirtier and smellier than you went in. You might as well smear yourself in shit and save yourself the trouble.

Every man is a predator/abuser/manipulator and you should LTB (even if his only crime was breaking wind infront of a woman) but if a mum suggests taking her young son into the womens toilets she is disgusting, leave that boy to go onto the mens alone and unsupervised with all those terrible men 😂

thank you @Judgyjudgy @WandaWonder and @Fizbosshoes 😂I'm glad I don't have an en-suite then!!

And remember to launder your towel at 90° after each bath/shower and probably in between for good measure

The one that tickles me is the obsession with insurance. Firstly that it covers everything - I have more than once seen someone say that a friend or boyfriend or whatever has changed their mind about a holiday leaving the booker out of pocket. There will inevitably be a line up of people saying "surely you have insurance OP".

The other great insurance obsession is what may invalidate it. I've seen people claim a stepchild's messy bedroom will invalidate house insurance and that having an adult daughter stay in a house will the owners are on holiday will also invalidate insurance.

Oh yes, plus every cleaner who works for cash in hand naturally has insurance to cover her for any breakages (which of course normal people just call "accidents" and chalk up to life happening).

Being invited to a wedding is an insult and you should obviously reply with “that doesn’t work for me” to the invitation.

The bride is devil incarnate if she dares to have the wedding somewhere that she likes rather than the local town hall, which is apparently miraculously close to all of her family and all the groom’s family and all their friends….

If you have cats you need at least two litter trays per cat plus a spare in every room of the house.

Marrying your second cousin is legal; it is therefore completely normal and everyone does it.

People shopping in B and M bargains and The Range were responsible for 99% of covid infections

Everyone earns £100k+, but if you can't feed your family of 5 on a budget of £20 a week, then you are extravagant and living beyond your means.

Oh and YY to the Great Towel Divide.

Half of us use towels for weeks on end, possibly one between 2 adults and 2 kids, and then wash at a measly 20c. The other half change theirs after every wash, sometimes more, use a different one for every part of their body, and nothing less than a 90c boil wash with white wine vinegar will do.

You must be one or the other; there is no in-between.

Never pay a tradesman in cash they are always tax dodging scum

don’t answer the phone unless you’ve received 6 emails confirming the time and date of the call 6 weeks in advance

all hobbies are outing

if in doubt call the police