Three in a bedroom…what did you do?

[AmIBeingUnreasonableThisTime]

So…

I have a 7yo step daughter and 3yo twins.

Step daughter is here EOW (extra in school hols) and has her own bedroom, twins share. Step daughter doesn’t like sleeping on her own and chooses to share a room with the twins. This means stepdaughter is currently sleeping on a pull out chair bed.

This only started a few months ago but now it looks like it will be long term so a chair bed isn’t ideal. However, we can only fit another bed in if we take everything else in the twins room out (wardrobe, bookcase, etc). There isn’t loads in there to take out but it’s all the personal things and there would be pretty much no floor space after that.

AIBU to not want to take everything out of the kids bedroom to have a room full of beds that’s challenging to get everyone ready for bed in?

Has anyone else been in this situation and how did you resolve it?

Thanks

Triple bunk (with a pull out bed), not triple height bunk like this. SIL got one cheap off amazon etc

www.wayfair.co.uk/Harriet-Bee--Espada-Single-3-Bunk-Bed-with-Trundle-V114391583-L1074-K~U003280472.html?refid=GX433460317642-U003280472&device=c&ptid=1347065051436&targetid=pla-1347065051436&network=g&ireid=150675160&device=c&gclid=Cj0KCQiArsefBhCbARIsAP98hXQI5sNeqqxPX7oplCAA3Un35iWG7CcJkG7K3YaLQxTKqkU09eyYt_UaAijJEALw_wcB

Two sets of bunkbeds - Got them in the sale. It was a decent sized room so didn't look crowded. Kept it like that for about 5 years. if you add a few decorations to make it look nice it works really well

If you will be moving shortly anyway, perhaps an inflatable divan?
We got an excellent one from Amazon. It’s self inflating, goes to a full size single and has a headboard which also inflates. It’s exactly like a normal bed once made up (although not wooden!). It folds back neatly into a bag about the size of a large rucksack for storage. Worth considering?

What about a mid sleeper with a low bed underneath? You could maybe even fit the twins current beds side by side with the mid sleeper sitting lengthways across the wall and their beds with the heads to the wall underneath?

I'd do matching cabin beds for the twins with storage and one bed has a pull-out trundle bed. You can get some lovely ones.

Your DH is unreasonable to think DSD should both keep her room and have a permanent space in the twins' room. Especially as she's only with you EOW - that would mean essentially one and half bedrooms just for her use!

Or, something like the IKEA Kura set up as a midsleeper but with a set of slats underneath to make a bed at floor level and then retail one of the current beds or replace with a narrow single.

If you're going to be moving I'd just keep the arrangement as it is now. It's lovely to want to make it work for her but it's unfair for her to have her own room and also share the twins room especially when she's not there all the time. It's their permanent home, they need to have their permanent space. Is she afraid to sleep on her own or is she just so used to sharing that she doesn't want to sleep alone? Would some nightlights and a radio or something help her get to sleep in her own room?

Failing that if it's working now I'd just leave it as is

That’s so cute that your DSD wants to sleep with her step-siblings! I remember years ago going to a friend’s family home where they had a bed which folded vertically into a unit on the wall - could something like this be an option?

We have a Jay-be Crown folding bed as a spare bed. It has a decent mattress on it and wheels along really easily. As long as there is floor space, just fold the bed down when she's staying and fold & wheel back to her room when she's not. Buy the cover for it too, it looks a lot tidier.

In your OP you said the chair bed wasn't ideal, but then go on to say DSD is happy on it.
I'd just stick with that for the time being. I think it's really sweet she wants to share with her sisters. It's probably fun for them all on the weekends she's there - a little bit different to usual. I honestly wouldn't want to upset what seems to be working well.

We used chair beds quite a bit when I growing up and they're pretty comfortable -no awful springs. Children are light, too.

My 3 DS share a room, and so I have the stackable beds from ikea.
I didn't know if the kids would stack them, but they do, when they want floor space to play on.

I recommend them! In your shoes I would have one room as a dressing room and one as the sleeping room.

And just because it is like this now, doesn't mean it will be like that forever.

www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/utaker-stackable-bed-pine-00360484/

As others have said, don't change anything. DSD has a room of her own and a proper bed at yours which is right. She currently enjoys a sleepover with your twins which is also fine. It's probably not permanent and so why take up space in your twins room?

If she is comfortable in it there’s no reason not to just keep using the pullout bed.

I’d just keep using the chair bed, or get a better quality one if you think the one you have isn’t comfortable enough.

If you’re moving soon, it makes no sense to buy something else. If the house is yours and you need to sell, it makes sense to dress the last room as a bedroom. Seeing as the girls are sharing the bedroom space, your twins could also use the 3rd bedroom as shared space for toys or other belongings.

Can one of the twins sleep in the other room, take turns when she is at yours?

Thanks for all your replies - a lot to consider!

I really want to avoid bunk beds. They will argue over the top bunk and my 3yo will both end up scrambling up the ladders when my is turned.

Twins don’t want to sleep in separate bedrooms. I won’t make them either.

Double and single would be tight to accommodate and I don’t want to kick a twin out of their bed when DSD is here.

DSD has a double bed in her room so there’s no room in the twins to drag her mattress in when she’s here.

DSD won’t sleep alone as she cosleeps with mum and feels left out here when we all share a room (DH and I, twins in their room).

They won’t share a king size, twins struggle to share a double when needed without a line down the middle 😂

The dressing room idea would work logistically but I’d find it a pain to be honest. It can be annoying that DSD things are in her room even now.

We’ve not spoken to the children about it, but I can’t see DSD being happy at giving up her bedroom.

Without being the wicked step mother, I’m leaning towards keeping things as they are. DSD is choosing to sleep in there over her own (gorgeous) bedroom and hasn’t complained about it at all. She has her own girly bedding on it and it’s all set up for when she arrives. I slept on it for 2 months straight when the twins were babies and had no complaints.

When/if we move then I like the day bed idea and we can give them to biggest bedroom. Not keen of a bed in the room that’s redundant a majority of the time.

Trundle bed that comes out when DSD stays.

Honestly, leave it as is. Especially if you are moving soon.

If she's uncomfortable she can return to her own room.

Your husband is being really, really unreasonable.

Your twins need space, it's ridiculous to have TWO permanent bed spaces for a child who is there EOW, at the expense of people that live there all the time. She has that space already in the room she doesn't use, they should have it in theirs.

I would keep things how they are or get a trundle bed, something that goes away when she isn't sleeping there. I would not consider a permanent bed and less space for the twins.

When/if we move then I like the day bed idea and we can give them to biggest bedroom. Not keen of a bed in the room that’s redundant a majority of the time.

If you move I would avoid permanent solutions that involve her continuing to share with the twins. She will have to grow out of it at some point. You can't have a 12 year old sharing with 7 year old's etc etc. It may not be now but she will eventually need to learn to sleep in her own room. I would make moving the cut off point.

You can buy beds that have a pull out underneath. We had one of these for a while for a similar situation and it worked well

@aSofaNearYou
Hand on heart, I think she should be sleeping alone now but we can’t change that without mum’s support. I don’t want her in tears at bedtime the limited time she’s here because she doesn’t want to sleep alone. She would love to have an adult sleep in her bed with her but this was the compromise as we don’t cosleep in our house.

I think your DH and her Mum need to have a conversation. It's not my place to judge anyone for co-sleeping with a seven year old but the longer it goes on, it'll cause problems. What happens when her Mum meets someone else? Or if she wants to go to a sleepover at a friend's house? Or heaven forbid something happen and she needed to stay with a neighbour? At that age she really should be able to sleep in a double bed on her own. What about one of those massive teddies or something, would that help her feel comforted? It's unfair of her parents to let this go on so long. Your twins should have their own space too and it's very unfair that she already has a permanent room that is unused.

Get a blow-up single airbed which can be deflated or pushed under a bed when she's not there.

Don't let her dictate your twins sleeping arrangements in their only home . She has another home to throw her weight around.

Does she sleep alone in a room at her mothers?