Three in a bedroom…what did you do?

[AmIBeingUnreasonableThisTime]

So…

I have a 7yo step daughter and 3yo twins.

Step daughter is here EOW (extra in school hols) and has her own bedroom, twins share. Step daughter doesn’t like sleeping on her own and chooses to share a room with the twins. This means stepdaughter is currently sleeping on a pull out chair bed.

This only started a few months ago but now it looks like it will be long term so a chair bed isn’t ideal. However, we can only fit another bed in if we take everything else in the twins room out (wardrobe, bookcase, etc). There isn’t loads in there to take out but it’s all the personal things and there would be pretty much no floor space after that.

AIBU to not want to take everything out of the kids bedroom to have a room full of beds that’s challenging to get everyone ready for bed in?

Has anyone else been in this situation and how did you resolve it?

Thanks

A Kura bed from ikea and make the bottom bit another bed? Nowhere near as tall as regular bunk beds.

Thank you for everyone’s suggestions…it sounds so silly but I want a nice bedroom for twins when DSD here given she’s not here as much as we’d like her to be so I’m not keen to move everything out of their room.

Ive considered bunk beds but it will cause arguments 🙈 the double/single idea would work logistically but I don’t want to kick a child out of their bed to accommodate DSD.

We might have to buy another bed a trundle will fit under (current beds too low despite being less than 18 months old 😖)

I think we have to keep in mind that she’s choosing to share and she does have her own bed and bedroom 🤷🏻‍♀️

My son had this bed in his room for sleep overs - would this be an option and her bed gets tucked away between visits?

www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-the-basics-woodstock-trundle-guest-bed/p597097

I actually think it's really really sweet that she wants to share a bedroom with her little sisters. I personally would probably encourage that myself, as not all sibling / step sibling relationships are as lovely as that.
Especially if the twins are happy with the setup too, I don't think it's fair to say to your step daughter "sorry I'm not prioritising your wants / needs". The twins are 3, they don't know what a "pretty" bedroom looks like - they would probably be happy with 3 beds and lots of wall furnishings etc to make it look homely, and DSD's old room can be for wardrobes.

@CatOnTheChair
it was suggested but DH is reluctant (as am I to be honest) plus our room is a lot colder being above the garage ☃️

@somuchtolearnabout
there’s always one 🙄

I haven’t said that I’m not prioritising her needs but there are other people in the house to be considered - myself included.

I also have to keep in mind that we may be dressing a house for selling soon too and I don’t want it to look like a hostel.

I haven’t even spoken to twins about moving all but their beds into another room yet…keep in mind that DSD has a lovely room at mums and at dads (plus the twins room). Twins will have none.

Twins each have their own rooms and SD sleeps in with the one with the biggest room

Honestly as she has her own bed elsewhere, if she comfy on the chair bed I'd let her stay on the chair bed.

@Blip
twins don’t want to be separated.

My thoughts exactly!

She won't be seven forever and she won't want to share forever.

Get her a trundle for the twins' room so she is sleeping on the proper mattress and a beautiful bedroom of her own so she has that "permanent base" to grow into

@ChiefWiggumsBoy
i might find a mattress topper for it although she says it comfy which I can vouch for as I sleep on it when children are poorly.

Twins are currently in short based beds…no idea how I’d fit in three full sized single beds (reading corner will be going even with two).

I think DH wants to make it a bedroom for all three but keep DSD room should she change her mind…which I’m not sure about to be honest

Your DH is being unreasonable - it can’t be both ways - they share and a solution for that is found, or they have their own rooms.

I would do as others suggest and have a ‘sleep’ room and a ‘play/dressing’ room.

Leave her on the chair bed , it’s not fair for the other kids to have their room severely disrupted when their sister has her own bedroom but just opts not to use it .

Bunk bed, with mattress under bottom bunk. Pull that out when she visits.

I was going to suggest triple bunks until I read this. What about a low bunk bed, where the bottom is floor level?

Or how about a low bunk bed, bottom bunk both floor level and a double bed with a single on top? I’ll see if I can find a picture…

We use a futon mattress in our spare room. It's heavy but it rolls up fairly small and a single might fit under one of the beds.

Or do the trundle thing if the twins won't mind sharing a double when she's here.

I agree with others that this won't be permanent and she has a room and bed so I don't think you need to make permanent changes.

Something like this?

Rather random one but you mentioned needing new beds if you have a trundle as the current ones are too low, you can just buy risers to lift them up. Also. You can get bunk beds which are only a bit overlapping over the feet. Like an L shape. Might be an option. Good luck it’s a tricky one.

She can't have a room and share the twins room, that's just not fair on them.

If she's comfy on the chair bed then leave her on that, honestly, especially if you're going to be moving soon - arrangements can be revisited when you've moved, surely? That is a natural opportunity to rework things.

You aren't going to find short base singles that also have a matching trundle with legs I don't think so you may as well hang on til you know what size room you're working with in your next house - there's no point buying furniture when there may be an obvious solution there (bunks) that doesn't work here.

I think just stick with the current arrangements.
My DD got into a phase of always sleeping in my bed with me about aged 7/8. It went on for about a year even though she had her own lovely room and bed.
Eventually she grew out of it.
If the chair bed is comfy just leave it as is. She still has her own space, with all her stuff etc.

If I were you I would keep things as they are until you move. Yes your SD is sleeping on a chair bed which isn't ideal but she's got her own bed in her own room so she does have a choice. You've slept on it and have found it's not uncomfortable, but if you are worried get her a nice mattress topper and comfortable bedding so it feels less like camping out, and keep her own room as it is in case she decides she wants to go back to it. Going out and buying new furniture when your current furniture is only 18 months old and you are planing on moving is madness in my opinion! You sound like a lovely accommodating step mum.

You're making a problem out of nothing. If she's only over EOW and you're moving soon just keep the couch bed. She has a proper bed in her own room if she needs it.

I don't see it as her just choosing not to sleep on her own like some people are saying. If the two adults are together and the twins are together then she would be the only person in the house having to sleep alone, that would be hard for a child who is used to sleeping in a room with others. I would certainly want to set it up as one bedroom for three children. A double bed for twins with a single on top could possibly work, it used to be quite normal for children to share beds.

Our 4yo has a Kura bed from Ikea. Low but plenty of room height wise underneath for a trundle bed as the bottom ‘bunk’. If you put the trundle perpendicular to the Kura, you also get a cosy little reading corner too (we’re doing the same for when our 2yo moves in with her sister in the summer, but with a regular single).

Means it’s a permanent 2 bed set up for twins, with the option to create a third proper bed when needed.