To ask if it’s possible to find a job that isn’t anxiety inducing

[StuartBroadBarmyArmy]

I need some inspiration. I have work anxiety (and it is just purely work related). I’m 39 and dream of being able to give up work. But I love working in general - can’t just sit around, love to be busy. But my job (law) has ground me down and I constantly experience some level of anxiety.

Please give me some hope. Are there other jobs out there that pay ok, and are enjoyable? I’m scared to take the leap because I’m on a good salary and what if I move into something horrible?

I feel any well paid job is going to have some stress, that's why it's well paid 🤔

Troll:
An online troll uses the internet to deliberately provoke or get a rise out of others. Their actions can be a small-scale irritant or cause a major problem. The term “troll” usually refers to someone who maliciously harasses, attacks, or cyberbullies others.

Have you thought about local authority legal. It’s a different world to private practice. Obviously not well paid but very flexible.

I suspect there is a bot on this thread. Some of the language used is really odd and the contrariness doesn't make much sense. It needs to go away for some more programming.

@eurochick it is just so frustrating when people are providing excellent contributions and then it gets derailed by someone being a twat.

@StuartBroadBarmyArmy Ignore her, she has form for this. I hope you've had some inspiration from other posters on the thread and good luck with whatever new job/field you venture into! (I retrained when I was roughly your age if it's any consolation, and I promise you a drop in pay in the short term for a less anxiety-inducing occupation is 100% worth it).

@AnElegantChaos thanks :)

Apologies if it’s already been shared - I haven’t RTFT. I’m an ex lawyer too and joined just to share this - you’re definitely not alone OP every lawyer I know can relate to this!
Don’t be a lawyer

It is not you. It is law. Have you considered an in house role or psl role or teaching law or working for a legal publisher or working in compliance?

No, you just cry when someone doesn’t ask you for ID when buying alcohol. You’re hardly in a position to criticise someone with a very stressful job for having occasional bouts of anxiety.

Heh! You're quite a young fellow, aren't you @Keyansier ?

Ignore the troll OP. Came on here to suggest a whatever you do, don’t go into Law before reading your first post! I completely understand, I did 10 years before having my DS and fortunately was in a position to not have to go back and the sheer relief I felt was immense.

I can’t particularly help with a career change because I do a bit of all sorts now to help with my DH’s construction business and run a holiday let on the side and look after my 18 month old which is enough for me for now but I just wanted to say you are not alone in feeling the way you do. I’m still getting messages from old colleagues who are having panic attacks in the office and who would leave in a heartbeat if they had the financial security to do so.

This thread hadn't actually moved on much. What are you actually going to DO then OP? You haven't actually answered any of my questions. I asked you to be specific about which area / parts of your job you disliked. I did that for a reason, to save yourself hours of counselling, to look at what really bothers you, and how you could address these issues, eg with a slight sideways career move. Manager? Mentor? How are you going to address anything if you haven't broken it down to the core issues?

Although the 2 posters you accused of being trolls were harsh, a lot of what they said was true. Most of us would expect our lawyer or the barrister to know their area of law, to be confident in it. In fact anyone professional knows their area, their stuff. As an Operations manager Dh does, knows his sites, his h&s, his nebosh. I in my finance, know my stuff. What area of law are you and why are you not confident in it. My closest friend heads employment law section, she knows her stuff. You dont win the Uber case without knowing your stuff. I would want someone non anxious representing me.

You say you only have Work anxiety and are not anxious in real life, but are you absolutely sure, would your friends describe you in this way. have you had counselling, which I suggested earlier, and other posters, but you haven't replied.

So what have you taken from this thread? What now?

This used to be me - the ‘Sunday scaries’ were very bad and I hated going in on Monday. Luckily I was made redundant when I was on mat leave with DD (very very dodgy but I didn’t have it in me to fight) and was able to stay off for a few years. I now work as a TA - the pay is shit, but no stress. I’m lucky in that I can only afford to do this due to DH working for GLD still and bringing home the bacon.

I haven't RTFT but this may help ; restless.co.uk/career-advice/job-ideas/low-stress-jobs-to-consider-if-youre-looking-for-a-change/

How is this in any way trolling?

You appear not believe you can meet the expectations of an adversarial career, having picked the most adversarial career on the planet short of being in politics at a high level, and you are experiencing anxiety as a result to an extent that you feel you need to change your career path.

You have asked for alternatives, and people keep offering similar alternative solutions that are equally adversarial, or come with monitored performance standards that are anxiety inducing.

So do something that doesn’t. I’ve made perfectly reasonable suggestions. Have you considered any of them or looked to see how much they potentially could pay? It’s not rocket science. That said, rocket science whilst goal oriented and budgetary restrained, is an insular profession with very singular focus.

Have you read all my posts? I specifically listed what I find stressful. Then agreed with other posters who listed similar issues. I’ve had counselling. This is work related only.

As for performance type comments, I’m highly successful and at the top of my game, in a leading firm. I’d be out if I didn’t perform. That’s not the issue here. It’s really frustrating when people jump on who don’t really have a clue what this job is like. Or just jump on to have a go.

My OP asked for hope, I wanted to know if there are other jobs out there that aren’t so stressful. Lots of helpful contributions have been made by people who have experienced this and escaped to better things. Brilliant. The whole aim of my post. I don’t know what else you want from me?

All the people crapping on about how you can't be a good lawyer if it causes anxiety are wrong.

The pp who compared to a surgeon, I remember watching a program about surgery, I think it was called On the Edge of Life or something like that. There was a paediatric heart surgeon on there and he talked about how anxious he felt about a complex operation and that he'd been for a run that morning to try and clear his head and settle his nerves. It doesn't mean he isn't a talented surgeon, it means he's a normal person and not a machine.

None of my clients would have a clue if I had shed a tear in the shower or had a sleeplessness night worrying. They see confident, professionalism always.

Re anxiety - the nature of the job, is to attack the other side’s arguments, to criticise and be criticised. People are waiting for you to trip up. Things can go wrong due to human error but the consequences can be catastrophic. Clients are difficult. Billing Targets have to met. Scrutiny from all angles - regulator, employer, Court etc. I also have DDs now and I think you need a passion to thrive - my passion has gone. My DDs are my passion.

Yes, I have read all your posts.
Is that what where you listed it? That sounds very generalised to me. It's not specific.

1)To attack. Surely you knew this. But really that's a perspective thing. I don't see it that way.

2)Trip you up. Who is trying to trip you up. And why? Is your manager trying to trip you up?

3)Things go wrong. What have you done wrong. Where have you been criticised.

4. Clients difficult. Yes, some can be. Are they being managed properly though.

5)Billing targets. Are tough. Are you considering moving away from this?

6)scrutiny from all angles. Yep that's part of it. Unlikely to change. Unless you change your viewpoint and dint see it that way?

7)passion. dd's. Ahhh now that's different. So why not consider a change, because your priorities have changed.

Sorry you're having a hard time OP but this thread has given me so much validation. I'm a commercial litigator and your post really spoke to me. The stress, the need for perfection, the scrutiny from so many angles. What has helped me is being very specialist. So I know my area and that makes it less likely I will be without an answer to an on the spot question. Also, finding a firm which has the right balance of good work, nice clients and a good supportive team culture. I've worked in lots of different firms and have found my place. That's said, I still get the Sunday anxiety and the stress is sometimes too much for me. It's a tough job and if I didn't have a passion for my specialty then I would have quit already. Do what is best for you. I also agree that it's the money that traps you!

I'm certainly not surprised a high-end job in law is stressful. If you're serious about wanting a change I'd look into public sector work - local government, nhs, etc - the stress is often proportional to the pay.

Thanks all - v much appreciate all the helpful comments and solidarity and have taken all suggestions on board. Feeling a lot more positive and less alone. Bowing out now but might come back in a year or two to update 😉

Good luck - and remember you only live once.

OP, I felt similar to you working as a litigator in a large law firm. I switched to become a professional support lawyer/knowledge lawyer and I am so much happier! Still get to work in the law (with just a small pay cut) but clients are now the partners (and they are much nicer when they are relying on you to write their legal content) and I get to focus on interesting black letter law issues, which was always the more interesting bit! Job is much more flexible and supportive. Good luck.

@AshGirl do you still have to post timesheets when you work in house?