To ask if it’s possible to find a job that isn’t anxiety inducing

[StuartBroadBarmyArmy]

I need some inspiration. I have work anxiety (and it is just purely work related). I’m 39 and dream of being able to give up work. But I love working in general - can’t just sit around, love to be busy. But my job (law) has ground me down and I constantly experience some level of anxiety.

Please give me some hope. Are there other jobs out there that pay ok, and are enjoyable? I’m scared to take the leap because I’m on a good salary and what if I move into something horrible?

What you describe as work anxiety is very broad.

What part of work is at the centre of your anxiety?

For example, I get anxious about being bored. I don’t like fixed start and finish times in case there isn’t enough work for me or time management issues.

The solution is a position where I manage my own diary.

If however, you are anxious about something else it would be hard to suggest what job might suit you.

Law here too.

I don't think you ever get used to the constant pressure from clients to work at speed, and pressure from the job not to make mistakes. I'm 27 years in now, and I wake up feeling sick with fear most days.

Just left a 15 year legal career to go to uni and do a full time English and creative writing degree, I do 1 day a week at my old law firm to help with money and a bit of cleaning work and I'm the happiest I've been in years, you are right, after kids it changes your outlook. Take a leap, don't worry about the money, if you're up for working hard then everything will fall into place. Good luck! X

I have moved in-house which has been amazing! It is still very pressured and ridiculously busy, but I don't have the bullshit around billing or BD to worry about. My internal clients are generally lovely, and because I don't cost them ££££ per hour their expectations are more manageable.

I have been where you are though, and it is absolutely shit. Hope you find something better soon

Re the HR thing. I swapped HR for teaching back in the late 90s. Got fed up of dealing with crap mostly caused by bad management from people who were more senior to me so couldn't be told what to do. At least in teaching you have a bit more autonomy- or did and if students tell you to fuck off (never happened to me btw) you have some recourse whereas if it is the highest paid corp finance company president, then there isn't.

I also thought this would be law from the title.

I understand the point @DisneyChops is making but law has a number of anxiety inducing factors. Missing a point can cost a client millions and lead to a long insurance investigation against you and the firm and potentially a negligence claim. If you do litigation getting something wrong or presenting documents that are less than perfect can lead to a humiliating public dressing down from the judge. Missing a deadline can lose your client their case. And so on. It's not life and death stuff like it would be for a surgeon but it is anxiety inducing for most. And tbh if you have the type of personality where you are laid back about this stuff, then you are unlikely to make it as a lawyer as you wouldn't be careful enough.

There are some good suggestions on here for alternatives. Try to get some headspace and think about what would play to your strengths. I have recently left BigLaw after many years, the past 7 as a partner. I'm doing something now which gives me a lot more control over my own destiny. It has the potential to earn more than partnership but at the moment it isn't and that's fine. I've never been one for designer bags and flashy cars so I don't need to earn as much as I did. Once I realised that and freed myself from the "golden handcuffs" of being tied to my partner salary it opened up options.

This is so odd to me (from a non-law background) to read. Why is law so anxiety-fuelled? I personally think I'd be great in law (obviously, if I studied it, not just casually walk in off the street tomorrow lol). And I'm surprised to hear it causes anxiety- surely as a customer you don't want an anxious lawyer or law-related person when it comes to a dispute, you would want someone confident in themselves?

Well stacking shelves maybe but if you want to earn a good salary then no you are going to be stressed at time.
Ive worked in acute NHS for 40 years, suffered years of anxiety but at 60 I just never feel anxious anymore I just get on with the job, I think you just get used to it.

I know what you mean, op. Work in general gives me terrible anxiety. I have a professional job now and I’m living on my nerves. I dream of the time I worked in a supermarket bakery, putting cakes into boxes and shoving frozen things into the oven all day. I was bored out of my mind, but it was the only job I’ve done where I felt zen and completely comfortable. Unfortunately it doesn’t pay well and would be a complete waste of my degree.

Perhaps we both need counselling and some anti-anxiety medication!

Ex lawyer here. It was awful. Difficult for anyone outside to understand. I wish you luck if you want to give it a go and feel that you could do it so well!!

I can sympathize, I work for a company similar to big 4 and it's had such a negative impact on my mental health. I do feel this is the year to try and step back and take stock of what I want to do, I'm in my late 30s and the thought of doing this for another 20+ years is soul destroying!

Is it the ethos of the firm. Have you spoken to your manager and told him/her this. What about your personality generally? Counselling. Because I just wouldn't put up with it, I don't 'do' anxiety, in any area of my life, so I would've looked for another job by now.

Can you be specific. What parts of your job. How can this, each part, be addressed. Or change career subtly to address this. This isn't going to go away, you know this right? So address it, head on. Take some career advice. Do you I have a mentor. Small steps. This can be changed.

I don't work in law but understand what you are saying although my job probably isn't as stressful as yours. For me, it's being public facing, dealing with a lot of people who tar me with the same brush of being useless as some of the professionals they have been involved with before I've even opened my mouth, navigating very complicated processes/systems, cases ALWAYS being more complicated than initially look, the constant threat of being sued or complained about, the expectation to continually take the same number of cases weeks after week and the scrutiny over how quickly that work is completed.

I think the worst thing for me is the focus on the numbers and deadlines and the expectation to 'keep up'. I have constant low level anxiety all the time. It's awful. Have a plan to get out shortly though as I will end up ill otherwise.

I'd love the job in the workshop. That sounds like a dream!

I'm also in public service. We have people leaving in droves because of the long hours, stress and budgetary pressures. Especially if they are management / better paid. Can you let me know which jobs are good hours and low stress with OK pay?

If you don’t mind a pay cut then I’d say consider public sector law and go part-time to buy you some headspace? You don’t need to do it forever but just for a couple of years whilst you work out what you really want to do.

In house is definitely worth a try before you leave law completely. My current role and my previous private practice role are like night and day.

You taking on anyone at the moment?

I’m in Employment law and absolutely love it. I really enjoy the adversarial nature of it, but the rest of my life is really incredibly peaceful in comparison. DC grown up, live alone with cat etc.

HR is pretty stressful and don’t go anywhere near teaching/lecturing if you’re prone to work stress.

Can you afford to do a totally different sort of job? Downsize your life to fit new income?

Sorry you are feeling so low, hopefully things change soon.

I work in law and I think it depends on the culture of the firm you work for.

I have worked in city corporate firms and the culture in those types of firms can be awful.

I now work in a medium sized high street firm and while there are pressures its not all the time and the partners are very supportive. The property partner who I work for will not have clients being rude to his staff and has on more than one occasion told a client we will not act for them anymore due to their rudeness. This is the sort of thing which really helps you to feel valued and supported.

For me the anxiety comes when not working. I’m great at my job, but what will happen when I’m not there. Will it all go to shit? What if something happens that only I can fix, and I’m not there. (Which does happen.) If I take time off, things won’t get done and then I have to race to catch up. So the anxiety comes from being away from my desk.

The good parts of the job are completely outweighed by the bad and stressful in private practice. It's so target driven - you have to post a certain amount of billable hours a year (1600 at my firm). You honestly wouldn't believe the amount of time spent billing - timesheets, sifting through narratives and dividing into different workstreams, sending clients draft bills, agreeing fees (which can be incredibly stressful), sending final bills, chasing for payment.

You are expected to do a large amount of business development to bring in clients and keep the ones you already have. There are some truly awful clients out there who expect you to be on call 24/7. Attend mandatory training and seminars, attend pointless departmental meetings and zoom calls, do a set amount of pro bono work each year so the firm can tick their CSR box. When you reach a certain level you are expected to mentor junior staff. If it wasn't for all the additional rubbish and admin it would be a decent job for the money.

I worked for a Big 4 firm for 9 years and, only now I've left, I realised I had work-related anxiety the whole time.

The culture of continuous improvement means nothing you do is ever good enough. 'Constructive criticism' means every compliment comes with a sting in the tail. You can get a '1' rating in your appraisal and are asked "how will you go the extra mile next year to make sure you achieve a '1' again"? You're constantly encouraged to 'shout about your achievements' to justify your role and value. Many of your colleagues are highly ambitious and friendly chats can have a subtle edge of one-upmanship to them.

I left to go to a regional law firm and it's been DREAMY! My appraisal this year was an informal chat with my manager who told me I'm amazing and she has no development points for me!! My anxiety has melted away since joining and I feel at peace for the first time in a decade.

I was approached by another Big 4 recently and was cringing at all the talk of metrics and objectives, and simply can't be arsed to end up back in that environment again.

That is the nature of work in the real world. Making businesses function.
Have you thought about cutting keys and mending shoes in a supermarket kiosk? Washing cars? Or cooking food in a burger van?

This sounds lovely but how much do you pay people? If OP is a senior lawyer I bet she’s wadded and wouldn’t be able to maintain lifestyle on a welder’s wage.