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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said this at the riding school?

269 replies

TigeToo · 18/02/2023 15:41

I’ve been doing horse riding lessons for around 6 months now (after on and off lessons when I was younger). I was paired up with a lovely but very sedate cob called Frank. It’s a mission to get Frank to do anything other than a very slow half hearted trot. It was ok at first as I needed a slow steady horse to build my confidence up but now it’s just frustrating. I’m meant to be learning how to canter but I can’t get Frank to canter. The instructor shouts “give him a kick” which I do but he doesn’t give a shit. The instructor will then laugh and call him a lazy bones or something. Occasionally she’ll run up behind him doing a weird noise which might make him canter for 3 steps but then he’ll stop again.
Last week I arrived at the stables and was told “Frank isn’t available so I’ve got Toby out for you, he’s a bit more forward, are you ok with that?”

Well Toby was amazing! Still slow and steady but up for a slow canter when requested. He was perfect!! I had an amazing lesson and finally felt like I was getting somewhere (with lots of cantering!!)

At the end of the lesson I asked if I could have Toby again on my next lesson. She said that was fine and wrote his name next to mine in the booking book.

So imagine my horror when I turn up today and see Frank stood waiting for me. I said “I’m meant to be on Toby today” and she said “oh, sorry he’s not available this week”. So I said “As lovely as Frank is I really want to learn to canter now, is there any other horse available?” And she got pissed off and said “no, I’ve got Frank ready now”.

So I took Frank into the school. Absolutely pointless, walking around so slow that he literally stopped a few times. Managed a slow trot, no chance I was getting anything else out of him.

So when it came to booking next weeks lesson I said “can you put me down for a horse I can learn to canter with” and she said “I can try but Frank is the best horse for you really due to your height, weight and ability” (I’m 5ft 10in, 10.7stone). They have a massive yard full of horses. I have another friend who goes and has said she won’t ride Frank or Toby as they’re too difficult to work with.

I didn’t book at the time but after speaking to friend I rang them just now and asked if I could book in with Blaze, Pepsi or Toby next week. They said “yes, I’ll put them on as well as Frank”. I said “No, not Frank”. She got very defensive and said there were no guarantees that it won’t be Frank if he’s the only one available so I said I won’t bother then.

The lessons are expensive and I feel like the’re taking the piss out of me.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 18/02/2023 15:47

I don't know anything about horses, but from what you've said YANBU. You're paying for a service and they should accommodate you. I'd have said "if I can't have x, y or z horse then I will find another riding school. Are any of them available next week or the week after?" If the answer is no then find somewhere else. I think they're taking the mick really.

Dacadactyl · 18/02/2023 15:48

BTW, why would Frank be the only one available if you've booked one of the others? Do you run late to the sessions? That'd the only reason I can think of as to why they're trying to give you Frank.

TigeToo · 18/02/2023 15:50

Dacadactyl · 18/02/2023 15:48

BTW, why would Frank be the only one available if you've booked one of the others? Do you run late to the sessions? That'd the only reason I can think of as to why they're trying to give you Frank.

Apparently you can’t book a specific horse, you can only state a preference. My friend says they always used to push Frank on her too 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
pawz · 18/02/2023 15:51

I think it's hard to tell if YABU without seeing you ride / the other horses. They might have 50, but if you're too tall / green to ride them it's no good no matter how many they have. Frank does sound rather stodgy though!

If Frank is the best for you due to height, weight and ability then it might be worth looking for another school with several horses suited to you?

Matilda1981 · 18/02/2023 15:52

To be honest if you could ride you would be able to get Frank to canter so I’m on the side of the riding school here!!

ColdHandsHotHead · 18/02/2023 15:52

I'm guessing nobody wants Frank for obvious reasons. I had riding lessons years ago and was put on the school's Frank. He would actually walk BACKWARDS if he didn't like something he saw. You need to get very stroppy with them.

Skinnermarink · 18/02/2023 15:52

This is why I stopped my riding lessons. After a certain point they had no interest in helping me progress any further. And often a ‘lesson’ would be a hack around the local residential area, just a gentle plod on top of a horse, nothing more, which is all very nice but not what I was paying my £60 a week for. (Yes it was expensive but at the time I had no children and a good disposable income!)

I don’t know OP. I just stopped going. It was too frustrating. It sounds so familiar I think it’s the same school 😅

dameofdilemma · 18/02/2023 15:53

We used to have this issue at dds stables when she was younger - the smallest slowest horse was used for the youngest kids, regardless of ability as he couldn’t be used for anyone else (and all the horses needed to get some exercise). Dd grew so had to change horse anyway in the end.

Say something - dd rode so much better on a different horse.

Stickytreacle · 18/02/2023 15:54

If you're paying for a group lesson, then they will use the most suitable horse for each rider, if you want to guarantee a particular horse then private lessons, or lunge lessons so you don't have to focus on getting the horse going forwards would be a better option.
To be fair, you'll probably find that as your riding improves you'll be able to establish canter more easily, you need a good trot to establish a good canter transition, so focusing on that might help too.

Skinnermarink · 18/02/2023 15:55

Matilda1981 · 18/02/2023 15:52

To be honest if you could ride you would be able to get Frank to canter so I’m on the side of the riding school here!!

Not necessarily. Can the riding instructors get Frank to canter if they ride him?

dameofdilemma · 18/02/2023 15:55

Should add the stables and instructor are otherwise great and dd is learning lots.

Hellocatshome · 18/02/2023 15:55

I know nothing about horse riding but Frank sound like my spirit animal. That said if you are getting no where with what sounds like a reasonable request can you just go get lessons somewhere else?

oviraptor21 · 18/02/2023 15:56

You can't learn to canter on a horse that's reluctant to canter. Once you know how to canter on a more willing horse you'll be able to use that skill to get the slow-going horse moving. Yanbu.

EmmaDilemma5 · 18/02/2023 15:57

Not unreasonable at all!

They're ripping you off. I'd speak with your money and go elsewhere.

PinotPony · 18/02/2023 15:57

Poor Frank. His sides are probably totally dead from years of novice riders giving him "a good kick".

GaspingGekko · 18/02/2023 15:58

YANBU, but I have to say I'm feeling a bit sorry for poor, lazy Frank. Bless his slow paced little soul. But yeah I don't blame you for not wanting to ride him.

TigeToo · 18/02/2023 15:58

These are private lessons.

hence why the other stables are full of horses when I arrive. Me and my friend think the people who work there ride around on the other horses before the private lessons and none of them ride Frank, hence why he’s always available!

Toby was in his stable this morning, instructor said he’d already been out and needed a rest

OP posts:
saffy9876 · 18/02/2023 15:59

Have you asked your instructor to demonstrate cantering on Frank?

TigeToo · 18/02/2023 16:00

saffy9876 · 18/02/2023 15:59

Have you asked your instructor to demonstrate cantering on Frank?

No, wish I had though as I don’t think I’ll be going back there now

OP posts:
PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 18/02/2023 16:00

Aww, poor old Frank.

Longwhiskers · 18/02/2023 16:01

Next time you’re trying to canter on Frank ask the instructor exactly what you’re doing wrong. Ask her to demonstrate so you can watch from the ground. He could be taking the piss because he knows he can get away with it with a novice. He sounds a funny guy though, have a soft spot for horses like that!

plumduck · 18/02/2023 16:04

I know nothing about horses but sounds like they are using you as they can't be arsed with Frank

spiderlight · 18/02/2023 16:04

I think I love Frank! 💕

BannMan · 18/02/2023 16:04

oviraptor21 · 18/02/2023 15:56

You can't learn to canter on a horse that's reluctant to canter. Once you know how to canter on a more willing horse you'll be able to use that skill to get the slow-going horse moving. Yanbu.

Agree with thus^
Once you've developed your seat and legs in canted then you'll be able to get him going. But you need to learn that first on a horse that will canter!

GucciBear · 18/02/2023 16:05

Poor Frank indeed. If you are using your aids properly he will canter. |Just a note - it is "riding" or "hacking" not horseriding.