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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stranger things & DD11

55 replies

TheColourofspring · 18/02/2023 07:19

My DD 11 has watched Stranger things- I wasn’t sure about letting her watch it but another one of her friends did, I talked to the parents before about it & decided to let her watch it & she absolutely loves it and wasn’t scared by it. She is, of course, younger than the age limit on it. I don’t generally let her watch stuff that has an older rating but probably half their year group have seen it and I have watched it and think that it depends on the child. She’s also watched the final Harry Potter film of the same rating.

The issue now is that another friend in school who isn’t allowed to watch it is constantly berating her for it and actually said to her last week ‘my parents think your parents are irresponsible’ so it’s obviously been discussed at home. DD was very upset about it.

Aibu to say something to the parents or just leave it? I don’t mind them thinking what they like about us but it’s the fact that they said it to the child and now she’s relaying that back to DD.

OP posts:
VashtaNerada · 18/02/2023 07:26

I would leave it. Different children can cope with different amounts of scary. You know your child.

Untitledsquatboulder · 18/02/2023 07:32

No you don't say something to the parents. Tell your dd that its OK for people to have different opinions, and it's OK for other people to disagree with your decisions.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 18/02/2023 07:36

Yanbu but ignore them, people like this are not worth it.

You know your own child. Tell your DD that you made a decision as a parent, and other parents can do the same.

Believeitornot · 18/02/2023 07:37

There’s nothing to be done. It is a bit late now. Did you watch it first? If j let my kids do and watch half the stuff their “friends’ mums let them watch” then they’d be playing GTA and watching horror films aged 12 😉🤣

My dd wanted to watch a Netflix series and I knew her friend’s mum had let her watch. I decided to watch some myself and realised quickly it was not appropriate. I even told the other mum who hadn’t watched it and realised it was inappropriate. And I’m not that strict!

So there’s no point saying anything. The other mum may be mortified that it got to you anyway. But do check more closely- I wouldn’t let my dcs near stranger things (they did ask!)

Believeitornot · 18/02/2023 07:37

Sorry I missed that you’d watched it!

Booooot · 18/02/2023 07:41

Tell your daughter you think their parents are uptight and see if it gets back to them!

LadyHarmby · 18/02/2023 07:43

Untitledsquatboulder · 18/02/2023 07:32

No you don't say something to the parents. Tell your dd that its OK for people to have different opinions, and it's OK for other people to disagree with your decisions.

This

Original poster
TheColourofspring · 18/02/2023 07:45

@Believeitornot yes I did watch all 4 series (I loved it too) - it’s the only thing I have let her watch - she still mostly watches CBBC tbh - Stranger things does have some scary stuff in it

OP posts:
Original poster
TheColourofspring · 18/02/2023 07:46

@DrMarciaFieldstone yes- I think it was the fact that DD was upset- the girl made her feel stupid I think

OP posts:
MrWhippersnapper · 18/02/2023 07:50

Other child is jealous

ladymacbeth · 18/02/2023 07:53

Did you talk to her about the sexual harassment and abuse? Perhaps that's what they're worried about as well as the scary stuff?

RachelSq · 18/02/2023 07:54

I’d guess the girl that’s not allowed is just super jealous.

I’d honestly take nothing from it. Stranger Things at 11 is hardly irresponsible (from my memory anyway).

I’d reassure your DS that it was your choice to let her watch it and that she’s done nothing wrong here.

Xrays · 18/02/2023 07:55

I have a son the same age who has also watched it and loved it. Your dd needs to learn to laugh it off. Tell her to just smile and shrug and say oh well, it was great! The other child is jealous.

Original poster
TheColourofspring · 18/02/2023 07:55

@ladymacbeth yes we have talked about the abuse in it particularly Eleven’s bullying etc- I watched it with her

OP posts:
Cotswoldmama · 18/02/2023 07:57

I think the other girl is jealous and asked her parents to watch it and they said no and she's just repeated what her parents said to your daughter. Just reassure your daughter that you let her watch it because you watched it first and thought she was mature enough. I let my 10 year old watch maze runner because after watching it I though he'd enjoy it and for me there wasn't any content I was concerned about just a few swear words. Only you know your child and as long as you watched it first to check you think it's appropriate I think that's fine.

afinishedkiss · 18/02/2023 08:02

Cotswoldmama · 18/02/2023 07:57

I think the other girl is jealous and asked her parents to watch it and they said no and she's just repeated what her parents said to your daughter. Just reassure your daughter that you let her watch it because you watched it first and thought she was mature enough. I let my 10 year old watch maze runner because after watching it I though he'd enjoy it and for me there wasn't any content I was concerned about just a few swear words. Only you know your child and as long as you watched it first to check you think it's appropriate I think that's fine.

Exactly this. You did nothing wrong OP. The other kid is jealous.

WonderingWanda · 18/02/2023 08:05

I wouldn't say anything to the parents either. They will have said something to their child to justify not letting them watch it which is entirely their choice and the child is just repeating it to make themselves feel better and less jealous. I've been the parent on both sides of this, it's just how it is.

Morestrangethings · 18/02/2023 08:06

VashtaNerada · 18/02/2023 07:26

I would leave it. Different children can cope with different amounts of scary. You know your child.

Good response - as in, I agree lol.

5128gap · 18/02/2023 08:13

No, you need to give DD the tools to answer for herself.
You made a decision which went against guidance (no judgement here, just factual) so explain to your DD why that was. Children can be very literal, so in their eyes, you have done something that's 'not allowed', which your DD doesn't know how to justify, so explain to your DD the nuances that led you to do that.
Then from that help her select what she would feel comfortable in saying to her friend.
'My parents felt I was mature enough to watch it with them, and that's up to them' for example, or even 'it's none of your business' if she prefers.
As long as DD understands the decision and that you're not 'irresponsible' that's the important thing.

RealBecca · 18/02/2023 08:15

I think this is an opportunity to talk through with your child why people might be behaving the way they are and that it's not her problem what the parents think about you and your parenting and that some people are jealous and act out hurtfully (her friend)

I dont know if I could resist a passo e aggressive dig that the parents are irresponsible to talk like that in front of their child and should focus on their own parenting and not drag yours into it (clearly that's where their child is picking it up from)

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/02/2023 08:19

It’s a good opportunity for your DD to learn that people have different opinions and not to be oversensitive.

Same goes for you. To be blunt it is nuts that you are considering taking to this child’s parents because your daughter is upset about something they allegedly said about you.

It may well be they didn’t say it - and their daughter is saying they did because she’s embarrassed they think the show is too scary for her individually. But if they did say it, it doesn’t matter, it’s just their opinion.

Let it go, and just enjoy watching the series.

CocoPlum · 18/02/2023 08:19

I watched all of ST, and let my 11yo watch it with me after I'd seen it. He LOVED it. Talking to a close friend whose children are the same age as mine, she said her 11yo would not be able to cope with ST. So, fair enough. If my kids complain about not being allowed to do something their friends are, I tell them that's their parents' choice. It's rude that they said you were irresponsible, but I wouldn't say anything.

Original poster
TheColourofspring · 18/02/2023 08:28

@CocoPlum funnily enough my very sensitive teen DS wouldn’t be able to cope with it - he hates that type of stuff- my DD is more resilient to that kind of thing- she wasn’t even bothered by the bone breaking in series 4 whereas I couldn’t watch that bit!! She doesn’t find Vecna scary at all and laughs at it!

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 18/02/2023 08:28

Let this blow over because it will. Your daughter needs to know people have different opinions in life and this is Ok - its not a cause for debate on who is right or wrong because a considered decision was made and that's the important thing.

Original poster
TheColourofspring · 18/02/2023 08:30

@Luredbyapomegranate yea, good points! I think it’s because she was upset but you are right!

OP posts:
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