Kissing newborns on the face

[AWholeNewWorls]

Is it wrong to think only mum and dad should be allowed to kiss newborns? I was advised in one of my NCT classes that visitors should refrain from kissing baby on the face and should wash their hands before holding baby.

I told my mum this and she scoffed and said I shouldn't be "one of those mums" and it will make the baby weird if I mollycoddle like that. She said she raised me and my siblings without any of us catching anything bad etc. and we were all visited by lots of visitors (I have a fairly large and close knit extended family). I am expecting my first DC in about 4 weeks now and nervous about how to politely assert myself when it comes to conflicting views with my mum/MIL.

Well my eldest is 50 and I knew it then so it isn't that recent.

It's a great opportunity to dictate to the inlaws and threaten to stop contact if they don't comply

Now who's being hysterical? 😁

✌🏻

I think some of this might be to do with an increase in awareness and information as well. My DD contracted group b strep sepsis during her birth and was very poorly (NICU) for several weeks. Since then i understand that there is currently a big trial going on to see if testing pregnant women for group b strep reduces the number of cases of group b strep sepsis + meningitis, and there is a strep b vaccine trial going on. So perhaps its bringing it all a bit more attention and a very good thing if it stops another family suffering like we did.

Oh, I expect you're right. Every week I read on here about something new that grandparents shouldn't be allowed to do. Might as well add kisses to the list.
For what it's worth, I've never been prevented from kissing my DGC, nor did I prevent it for my own DC, and they are all in excellent health. I'm not aware of any special germs that GPs carry that parents don't, so unless I banned kisses altogether, it would seem a bit illogical.

What a fucked up thread saying babies shouldn't be kissed at all. Ffs. Great then they develop weak immune systems as well.

My first is due in 2 weeks and you can bet your bottom dollar shes getting millions of kisses a day when shes here.

This.

I don't think anyone has said babies shouldn't be kissed at all unless you imagine the only place you can kiss them is the face.

Honestly, I can't believe some of these replies. I'm pregnant right now and would not kiss my fragile infant. Kissing an infant is something that is enjoyable only for the kisser. Infants who are a few weeks old don't have any instinct to be happy when someone kisses them on the face. Every person who cannot wait until a baby develops a stronger immune system is pretty selfish and arrogant. You can kiss your infant on top of the head or cuddle them close for developmental needs. People who persist to kiss a baby on the lips are beyond creepy for me. Just wait until they get a little bit older instead of giving them herps or even killing them! Kissing a toddler is definitely different and anyone who shares a close relationship can do it.

Example:
My father is a very affectionate person who loves babies and kids. When I was a child, he always kissed me on the lips to show affection. However, I remember when my younger brother was born and I wanted to share the same affection and kiss him on the lips. I was a little kid so I didn't know what's right to do. My father freaked out and told me that you can't kiss babies on the lips. So clearly this is not a new rule. But maybe I find it so strange because I'm not originally from the US or UK.

Exactly.

I've probably been one of the most vocal on this thread but I said in my first post that we allowed top of the head kisses.

When I say allowed I don't mean we had some sort of contract that people had to sign in blood before they could enter the house (as some people seem to be implying), but we did politely ask family if they could avoid kissing him on or around his eyes, nose and mouth.

No drama, no hysterics.

I've always kissed babies on the top of their heads.

Babies do have a big face compared to their body so any kiss anywhere on a baby is more likely to be on the face compared to an older child

So you think the face is bigger than the rest of the head, than their torso?

I never kissed my babies on the face - they were generally either pukey or dribbly or snotty - much better to kiss their head 🤣 also agree with the risk of spreading things back and forth being higher.

Your baby your choice. Anyone not respecting that is being very cruel adding to a new mum's stress levels. Just disgusting in my view. It's your baby, not your mother's, mother in law's, sister's, friend's.

Yours. And you decide who kisses them and when etc. etc. etc.

I know a couple who lost a baby to neonatal herpes. It was so devastating and could have been so easily prevented :(

It’s not the biggest part of their whole body! Obviously. But it’s a well known fact that the head : body ratio is larger in infants. Not many people know this so was just sharing.

I would argue new mums are adding to and creating their own stress levels by being controlling, hysterical and basically ridiculous. If new mums would just relax and stop trying to dictate to everyone how they should behave, life would be a lot less stressful, I promise

So sad.

This is why it psses me off that people like @Katypp gaslight mothers by labelling them controlling, hysterical and basically ridiculous *for following guidance that's been provided by healthcare providers to help keep their new babies safe.

@Katypp you (and people like you) are the reason new mothers get angsty about this, not the act itself. Do you have children yourself?

Formatting fail. The quote was:

New mums are adding to and creating their own stress levels by being controlling, hysterical and basically ridiculous.

Yes. I genuinely don't understand this attitude of needing to constantly assert ownership, put other people in their place and muscle flex all the time. Must be so exhausting. I never felt like that. Thankfully my DD and DiL don't either and are relaxed and happy.

FFS it's not asserting ownership it's asking family and friends not to do something for a few weeks that could potentially put the baby at risk. We did it and it was no big deal. I don't know why so many people are trying to create drama where it doesn't exist.

It's only exhausting if said family and friends are selfish enough to put their wants over the wishes of the parents, which as many people have said have been informed by healthcare providers. We haven't just made it up!

Maybe some of us want to protect our babies from being needlessly exposed to what can be fatal or a lifelong problem. How ridiculous of us.

Context.
The comment that prompted my reference to ownership was one in which the poster manages to state its 'YOUR baby' no less than 3 times in a few lines. No reference there to the reasons why baby's shouldn't be kissed, just an emphasis of who 'owns' the baby and that 'you decide who kisses them and when'.

Straw man. You know well that's not what I'm disputing. It's perfectly possible to protect one's child without taking the overly possessive attitude of 'my baby my rules' that some are displaying, and that's what I'm commenting on.

You should've quoted that poster then, not @Katypp who clearly thinks that anyone who follows current guidance is a silly little mumzilla who is only doing it to keep their PIL paws away from their precious newborn. Or something along those lines.