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Original poster

'Nicola Bulley's reputation 'destroyed' by police'

922 replies

MyrtIe · 16/02/2023 10:37

Article here

The points made about victim blaming and the police disclosing this information to cover themselves are spot on imo.

The usual gutter press are having a field day with this today.

What exactly was the point of it? What's it achieved, apart from compounding the heartache of her loved ones?

YABU - the police were right to divulge this sensitive information as it was relevant to the investigation

YANBU - there was absolutely no need to do so

OP posts:
adriftabroad · 16/02/2023 18:27

Why do women think the menopause "will be over"?
Why do you not understand a permanent status? You no longer produce a hormone and never will.

WiIson · 16/02/2023 18:28

Terzani · 16/02/2023 18:24

I think posters who are dismissing mental health issues linked to the menopause are internalising shame from a (patriarchal) society.

Maybe, but there's also a legitimate defensive reaction against the risk of unfair generalisations. Nobody wants to imagine a future when people find out that a woman is menopausal and by default think that she must have some MH issues and without HRT she risks becoming suicidal, alcoholic, an irrational animal who cannot work and cannot be trusted anymore.

Parallels with womanly hysteria in fact.

Togoodtobeforgotten · 16/02/2023 18:29

adriftabroad · 16/02/2023 18:27

Why do women think the menopause "will be over"?
Why do you not understand a permanent status? You no longer produce a hormone and never will.

Because the symptoms lessen.

TurquoiseDress · 16/02/2023 18:30

I do not think they should have mentioned anything about early menopause...why the hell does anyone need to know that?

It's private medical information

The alcohol issues certainly do have some relevance to her vulnerability and also hearing they apparently visited her at home in recent weeks

keeprunning55 · 16/02/2023 18:30

Why is it relevant to talk about her problems with alcohol now? I see no reason why this is relevant now.

Bookist · 16/02/2023 18:30

The menopause is never over, it is a continuous state. Though in most cases the awful hormonal ups and downs of the peri menopause do stop.

Wonnle · 16/02/2023 18:31

Personally I can't see why the media have latched on to this missing person case .

100's of people go missing every week , why is she in the news seemingly constantly ?

BrightPurple · 16/02/2023 18:32

I don’t quite understand why the police made a statement about Nicola having vulnerabilities during the press conference, but then they divulged what they were the next day? Was it the next day, or hours after?

Surely they knew during the press conference that the vipers were ready to sell their story to the rats, so why not make it clear then?

adriftabroad · 16/02/2023 18:32

Togoodtobeforgotten · 16/02/2023 18:29

Because the symptoms lessen.

Show quote history

or indeed, get worse.

Newnamenewme23 · 16/02/2023 18:46

TurquoiseDress · 16/02/2023 18:30

I do not think they should have mentioned anything about early menopause...why the hell does anyone need to know that?

It's private medical information

The alcohol issues certainly do have some relevance to her vulnerability and also hearing they apparently visited her at home in recent weeks

which comes across better:

she’s an alcoholic.

she has issues with alcohol because she’s struggling with the menopause.

the latter is much more sympathetic.

LeandraDear · 16/02/2023 18:53

Togoodtobeforgotten · 16/02/2023 18:29

Because the symptoms lessen.

Show quote history

Not in everyone.

Pirateships · 16/02/2023 18:54

Terzani · 16/02/2023 18:24

I think posters who are dismissing mental health issues linked to the menopause are internalising shame from a (patriarchal) society.

Maybe, but there's also a legitimate defensive reaction against the risk of unfair generalisations. Nobody wants to imagine a future when people find out that a woman is menopausal and by default think that she must have some MH issues and without HRT she risks becoming suicidal, alcoholic, an irrational animal who cannot work and cannot be trusted anymore.

Well no but no one is suggesting that are they? Personally I think it's important to acknowledge that for some women it does affect them deeply and that they deserve support. Are people not supposed to speak about these women and their experiences just in case some narrow minded people assume everyone is the same?

MrsWombat · 16/02/2023 18:56

Why has Lancashire Police only just now referred themselves to the IOPC? Surely they should have done this as soon as she went missing, or at the latest once they had looked at everything and decided she had gone in the water.

www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/nicola-bulley-lancashire-police-iopc-missing-contact-b1060954.html

Devoutspoken · 16/02/2023 18:59

I'd love to know who blamed the menopause for her drinking

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 16/02/2023 18:59

Uptownswirl · 16/02/2023 18:21

I absolutely agree. My Dear, but long departed Granddad, was a very well regarded policeman, he would be so ashamed of the Police Force right now. They should never disclose something publicly just to make themselves look better

at a conservative estimate based on the average age of a mumsnetter I would hazard a guess your grandad policed in the 50s and 60s if you're younger then they policed through the life on Mars era of the 70s and 80s. Hardly the height of wonderful policing! I suggest you look into the mishandling of the Yorkshire ripper case for an example of how your grandad policed. Never mind the rampant misogyny and overt sexual assaults on female officers

Not to mention the out and out corruption in some parts of the Met Police.

Alexandra2001 · 16/02/2023 19:01

MrsWombat · 16/02/2023 18:56

Why has Lancashire Police only just now referred themselves to the IOPC? Surely they should have done this as soon as she went missing, or at the latest once they had looked at everything and decided she had gone in the water.

www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/nicola-bulley-lancashire-police-iopc-missing-contact-b1060954.html

I said they'd do this earlier, they are covering their backs because of all the scrutiny.
Didn't do it before because their simply wasn't the spot light on them, they want to be seen to have covered all the bases.

TrinnySmith · 16/02/2023 19:03

The bottom line is it’s social media speculators/ people selling their stories to anyone who’ll pay for it/constant suspicions…… the police gave out the facts as they know it in the hope of ending this.

So now the police are in the firing line.

Bookist · 16/02/2023 19:04

Devoutspoken · 16/02/2023 18:59

I'd love to know who blamed the menopause for her drinking

I would make an educated guess that her peri menopause symptoms were so severe that she was self medicating with alcohol? She had tried HRT which can work brilliantly but it gave her crippling headaches unfortunately.

Alexandra2001 · 16/02/2023 19:04

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 16/02/2023 18:59

Not to mention the out and out corruption in some parts of the Met Police.

Show quote history

Given what has been happening in some Polices forces and the way officers have behaved, whatever the rights and wrongs of yesteryear, it seems to have got a lot worse.

Did the pp say her DGD was involved in the ripper case? i missed that, i assumed he was a well thought of bobby in his local area.

whocarez · 16/02/2023 19:07

Blatant sexism, she has been in the news endlessly. If an male with alcohol problems had gone missing no one would care less.

Devoutspoken · 16/02/2023 19:11

Bookist, but who told the police this? Her dh? Her doctor?

Uptownswirl · 16/02/2023 19:13

Alexandra2001 · 16/02/2023 19:04

Given what has been happening in some Polices forces and the way officers have behaved, whatever the rights and wrongs of yesteryear, it seems to have got a lot worse.

Did the pp say her DGD was involved in the ripper case? i missed that, i assumed he was a well thought of bobby in his local area.

Show quote history

No, the point I was making is far greater mistakes and problems were prevalent in her grandads era of policing. Unless her grandad was nick berry.

GetUps · 16/02/2023 19:14

whocarez · 16/02/2023 19:07

Blatant sexism, she has been in the news endlessly. If an male with alcohol problems had gone missing no one would care less.

That's not true we had a young man go missing locally. The last CCTV footage was of him staggering out of a night club barely able to stand.

The town turned out in droves to search for him. Unfortunately he was found in a lake.

There's also the Airman, Corey? With the case still getting attention years later

Mef82 · 16/02/2023 19:26

noblegiraffe
The batshit armchair detectives need to shut the fuck up and let the police get on with their jobs.

Baying because they police didn’t disclose that she was vulnerable, baying because they did. Demanding details then acting horrified when the details are given. Oh we didn’t mean it.

FFS get a new hobby. Buy an Agatha Christie. Leave the family alone.

Completely agree.

LlynTegid · 16/02/2023 19:29

I don't think the alcoholism needed to be disclosed, nor indeed anything to do with the menopause.

As for men with alcohol issues, one tried to run the country for three years, yet few seemed bothered with that.