'Nicola Bulley's reputation 'destroyed' by police'

[MyrtIe]

Article here

The points made about victim blaming and the police disclosing this information to cover themselves are spot on imo.

The usual gutter press are having a field day with this today.

What exactly was the point of it? What's it achieved, apart from compounding the heartache of her loved ones?

YABU - the police were right to divulge this sensitive information as it was relevant to the investigation

YANBU - there was absolutely no need to do so

Do you really think her children didn't notice?

Much better to be released as a statement from the police in charge than sold to the media by a "friend" cashing in on this tragedy.

I don’t know if citing the menopause is irrelevant. So many women struggle with it. My sister admits she had no interest in life whatsoever before she got the right HRT. And that took years.

I think serious menopause issues, a 'significant' alcohol problem and a very recent mental health crisis requiring a police and health care emergency response are absolutely relevant to this. Relevant to the police.

But it's absolutely none of anyone else's business.

I look forward to hearing about a male missing person and their erectile dysfunction in future.

Highly relevant and causes mental health issues. It will most certainly aid their safe return.

Let us raise awareness

#reproductivehealthmatters

Indeed.

This is disgusting. Poor Nicola and her family.

The problem is you and others on all forms of social media are proliferating the information, enabling increasing amounts of speculation, mis-information and exaggerations to grow and spread.

yesterday when I heard about the reason why she was classified as being vulnerable (I will not repeat it again, it's already had far too much airtime), I though to myself gosh should they have revealed that?

what I didn't do was dive onto Twitter, Fb, MN and create numerous threads and take part in discussions. If everyone kept their opinions to themselves this wouldn't have blown up, but people can't help themselves, they have to gossip and speculate.

Many many women go through menopause with minimal effect and it doesn't define them in the least. Reducing someone to their fertility statusand suggesting that status caused some so far unknown actions leading to apparent tragedyseems totally patronising. Why not just say mental health issues and leave it at that? I've never heard a man described in such a way.

And many many women struggle with the menopause, why should they be made to feel as if they should hide that fact?

struggles with the menopause? Seriously? Why on earth would that part be relevant at all?

As evidenced quite often on MN, in some women menopause hormone changes cause stress, anxiety, depression, mind fog, insomnia , mood swings, confusion.

I think the media/social media pressure is what led to them having to disclose

Yes. Like the countless threads on here about Nicola.

I did think that the police had made a huge error of judgement in stating that Nikki has vulnerabilities, and even more so to expand on that with the detail they later gave about issues with her menopause, alcohol use and a police/healthcare visit to her home in January. I was horrified by this gross breach of confidentiality and privacy, which seemed to be victim-blaming and misogynistic. I suspected the police wanted to decrease the sympathy felt for Nikki and her family, to detract from criticism the police have received and to make everyone more accepting of a potential future police decision to scale down operations to find Nikki. There should not be any shame around any vulnerabilities, but sadly we know that some people do shame and judge others.

However I'm now not sure there was much choice but to release the information, having read this new statement from Nikki's poor family. As is so often the case, the gutter press and those individuals with low morals wanting to cash in by 'selling stories' are to blame here and the shame should be with them.

Family Statement:
"We, as a family, believe that the public focus has become distracted from finding Nikki, & more about speculation & rumours into her private life.

"As a family, we were aware that Lancashire Police, last night, released a statement with some personal details.

"Although we know that Nikki would not have wanted this, there are people out there threatening to sell stories about her. This is appalling and needs to stop.

"The police know the truth about Nikki and now the public need to focus on finding her.

"Due to the peri menopause Nikki suffered with significant side effects such as brain fog, restless sleep and was taking HRT to help but this was giving her intense headaches.

"The public focus has to be on finding her and not making up wild theories about her personal life.

"Despite what some media outlets and individuals are suggesting, we are being updated daily and receive support from our family liaison officers.

"Nikki is such a wonderful daughter, sister , partner and mother and is missed dearly - we all need you back in our lives.

"Nikki, we hope you are reading this and know that we love you so much and your girls want a cuddle.

"We all need you home. You can reach out to us, or you can contact MissingPeople.org.uk. Don’t be scared, we all love you so very much."

I think it's shocking how they have divulged this personal information to the public. They could've said right from the start that she was vulnerable, which could've prevented some of the speculation. Or now they could've said she was experiencing mental health problems caused by her physical health and left it at that. If she is still alive, then how will she be able to return now that her private information is in the public domain? The only good that may come from this is maybe people will take the menopause/women's health more seriously. But that's just wishful thinking.

I can't help but think that if she wasn't a middle class white woman her alcohol issues would have been reported from the start (and the press wouldn't have become so invested)

It's not uncommon to see reports of 'known alcoholics' or people with 'a history of substance abuse' from the moment they go missing or are reported killed

So I see more of an issue with this information being held for so long when it's often released on others. There needs to be consistency

The Home Office are apparantly now looking into why this information was given out.

Hear, hear.

Well exactly, but realising that would involve a level of self reflection which it turns out many people don’t seem willing or able to do.

It’s pretty disgusting really that people have been so obsessed with sharing their own theories and opinions that that it’s been necessary to share this information and yet they’re still complaining about other people’s actions instead of reflecting on their own.

There was a middle way. Not one extreme or the other.

The police could have said they were concerned as she was classed as vulnerable. Obviously this would have still led to speculation, but it may have been better than coming out with what they have now revealed which appears to do nothing more than cover their backs in the face of criticism.

They didn't need to detail her medical records.

if people hadn't been interfering with half the information and getting two plus two to equal 7 and a half then none of this would have been said. so many armchair critics think they know better, but not realising they don't have all the information

so sad for the family to have had their lives scrutinised by the public, its truly awful

There are ways the police could have worded this which would have not led to the mass hysteria across the Internet and left people satisfied there was trust in the way they were handling it

"A woman has been reported missing today. Nicola is vulnerable, and known to police and local services. We are investigating all possible explanations for her disappearance, however we want to reassure people that we believe there to be no present threat to residents in the village"

It was recently they wanted to allow ow,an struggling to extreme time off work under one of the acts.

Shame that wasn't taken as seriously as it should have been because "what about the menz".

It's serious for some. The same way PMT affects others to an extreme - thinks it called PMDD or similar?

I honestly don't see the problem with disclosing these issues. We want to destigmatize mental health issues and the impact of menopause yes? The police disclosing why she's a high risk missing person is factual, it's the press and the public attaching it to shame that's the problem.

Because for some of us peri menopause has wreaked havoc on our mental health, and it's not an uncommon symptom either

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz but police don't comment on all missing people. There was an outcry when this was only in local news rather than national, people were arguing that it needed to be out there in the media. How many other women have gone missing in the last few days that none of us know about (apart from those close to them)?