Page 21 | 'Nicola Bulley's reputation 'destroyed' by police'

MyrtIe · 2023-02-16T10:37:21+00:00

[[https://news.sky.com/story/nicola-bulley-ex-detective-says-police-have-destroyed-missing-mums-reputation-by-revealing-alcohol-struggles-12812221 Article here]] The points made about victim blaming and the police disclosing this information to cover themselves are spot on imo. The usual gutter press are having a field day with this today. What exactly was the point of it? What's it achieved, apart from compounding the heartache of her loved ones? YABU - the police were right to divulge this sensitive information as it was relevant to the investigation YANBU - there was absolutely no need to do so

Coldilox · 16/02/2023 15:33

Theluggage15 · 16/02/2023 15:29

Oh yes definitely. Lots of similarities between the obsessives on these threads and the stupid ‘armies’ - knowing more than the experts, wildly speculating, accusing the workers of incompetence and hinting at other dark and hidden motives, low intelligence. Well done Mumsnet for encouraging this shit.

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Blimey I hadn’t thought of this link before but it’s absolutely spot on

GetUps · 16/02/2023 15:33

chandellina · 16/02/2023 15:22

Every time someone opens their mouth in this case it just gets more inappropriate --- now she has caused this whole crisis????

"Due to the peri menopause, Nikki suffered with significant side effects such as brain fog, restless sleep and was taking HRT to help but this was giving her intense headaches which caused Nikki to stop taking the HRT thinking that may have helped her but only ended up causing this crisis."

And what on earth does this mean - know the truth?

“The police know the truth about Nikki and now the public need to focus on finding her.”

FWIW I don't see how menopause or alcohol (and seems really irresponsible to link the two) are in way relevant unless they thought she self harmed or run away. How that ties in with supposedly having been though to fall in the river makes no sense either. She was arranging play dates and making plans for spa weekends in any case according to her friends and family's statements.

This will go down as a case study in poor police practice and even worse police communications. If my menopause or alcohol usage was ever mentioned while investigating my disappearance and a potential crime having been committed against me --- I would be horrified.

The only other explanation is the police are trying to throw their suspect off course with all this terrible communication.

Who said that? [Shock]

ScentOfAMemory · 16/02/2023 15:37

GetUps · 16/02/2023 15:32

Haven't the family caused much of the speculation?

Police said early on what they think has happened, but the family wouldn't accept it and have deliberately kept the conversation going.

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The family can do what they feel appropriate. Why wouldn't they?
The armchair Agathas on the other hand bear responsibility for what is now happening.
They have caused this.

CouchToOuch · 16/02/2023 15:41

Yes, who said this?!

GetUps · 16/02/2023 15:41

ScentOfAMemory · 16/02/2023 15:37

The family can do what they feel appropriate. Why wouldn't they?
The armchair Agathas on the other hand bear responsibility for what is now happening.
They have caused this.

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It sounds like (from the most recent BBC article) "people" were about to sell this story so by putting the information out anyway, they've removed the monetary value from it. That will be someone who knew her 😥

Of course the family can do as they please, but they've wanted it kept in the public eye. Without people showing such interest (Agathas or not), that wouldn't have happened.

GetUps · 16/02/2023 15:42

CouchToOuch · 16/02/2023 15:41

Yes, who said this?!

It's a statement from "the family".

CountryMusicHottie · 16/02/2023 15:42

Eve · 16/02/2023 14:45

wonder how much of an overlap of this band of armchair detectives/batshits/delusional army there is with the other 'armies' who are also medical, brain stem, ICU experts?

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You only need to spend a couple of minutes on advanced search to see a few of the obsessive batshit ones are obsessed with other stuff too, covid for example. And no doubt others just name change. It’s a hobby for some weird fuckers and it’s scary how detached they are from peoples feelings.

TeaAndTattoos · 16/02/2023 15:43

@MyrtIe YABU the police have done nothing wrong the family have said that they knew the police where releasing that information to put a stop to people threatening to sell stories about her so they did it before anyone could make money from it they are hoping that it will stop people from speculating and creating rumours about her private life and getting distracted from trying to find her.

www.itv.com/news/granada/2023-02-16/nicola-bulley-personal-details-released-after-threats-to-sell-stories

Whenlifegivesyoulemonsmakelemonade · 16/02/2023 15:46

SummerWinds · 16/02/2023 13:12

The police will hopefully learn from this fiasco and insist on a total news blackout next time. The media has played an appalling part and stirred up a lot of trouble.
I am surprised by the comments relating to latest information and that people cannot see the relevance. it seems pretty obvious to me.
So many on here appear to be anti police and haven't got a clue about how they operate.
I am not directing this at NB but alot of alcoholics are fully functioning, they build up such a high tolerance you wouldn't know they have been drinking.

Completely agree with this, who makes all these armchair detectives on MN the experts? What really makes them think they could have done a better job at investigating this case? To me it draws parallels with the whole anti-vaxx movement and everyone who thinks they know better than experts who have literally trained and worked for years in their specialist field.

Viviennemary · 16/02/2023 15:46

Surely its faitly clear they released this information to give weight to what they have already announced that they think she is in the river. And apparently the infotmation was about to be leaked anyway. Its not been handled that well because they dont suspect criminal involvement but are still giving updates which only flames speculation and media interest. I hope her family get an answer soon.

DillDanding · 16/02/2023 15:48

I fail to see how her reputation is being destroyed as some on here claim.

That in itself is insulting. I’d like to think if I struggled with menopause or issues with alcohol, people would not judge me on it, nor think it sullied my reputation.

And fwiw, if the police think these things are relevant in this case, they probably are. It might have been a factor and maybe it wasn’t. I’m not sure why they release info like this, perhaps it was an attempt to curtail the relentless amateur sleuthing.

kirinm · 16/02/2023 15:50

DillDanding · 16/02/2023 15:48

I fail to see how her reputation is being destroyed as some on here claim.

That in itself is insulting. I’d like to think if I struggled with menopause or issues with alcohol, people would not judge me on it, nor think it sullied my reputation.

And fwiw, if the police think these things are relevant in this case, they probably are. It might have been a factor and maybe it wasn’t. I’m not sure why they release info like this, perhaps it was an attempt to curtail the relentless amateur sleuthing.

You're naive if you think nobody would judge you for having an alcohol problem.

sqirrelfriends · 16/02/2023 15:51

Absolutely disgusting behaviour to release that information. Her poor kids will read that someday, why on earth would they make this harder on these children. What purpose does it serve, other than to satisfy a bunch of armchair detectives.

Hotelfoxtrot · 16/02/2023 15:54

Beansontoast45 · 16/02/2023 10:45

I don’t think in normal circumstances that information should be disclosed, but in this case I think it is sort of relevant and explains why the police have focused on the river so much and I think it will stop the stories about her husband/friends all being involved which are causing massive issues.

The police have had groups of people turning up to search for her, believing that they are not doing their job properly and the rumours and stories are really out of hand.

Unfortunately I think Nicola has chose to disappear. Hopefully just for some time out, probably never expecting to get this sort of attention. I don’t think she’s in the river.

Not possible. The CCTV rules out her leaving the park and the only part that was covered had heavy traffic, someone would have seen her leave.

Rhondaa · 16/02/2023 15:56

sqirrelfriends · 16/02/2023 15:51

Absolutely disgusting behaviour to release that information. Her poor kids will read that someday, why on earth would they make this harder on these children. What purpose does it serve, other than to satisfy a bunch of armchair detectives.

Omg i really don't think it was released to satisfy 'armchair detectives' <how many times must that expression be trawled out'.

As had been been said it was allegedly going to be leaked. Although to go from 'vulnerabilities that we will not discuss' to a full disclosure the same day makes the police, once again, look incompetent.

millionsofproducts · 16/02/2023 15:57

Gillybob · 16/02/2023 15:14

So, the alcohol problems etc were related to the police by her husband when he called them in January?
Has anyone had an emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship? I liked a glass of wine most evenings after I'd put the children to bed but my ex would have said I had a problem. I rarely have a drink now, it wasn't the problem, he was.
Maybe she did leave, maybe she felt she had no choice but to disappear as her family also believed she had issues.
Or maybe she was very sadly suffering with an addiction, struggling and needed help and support.
This is the problem when too much info is released, it's natural to speculate!!

Fucking hell, there's no stopping some people, is there?

GetUps · 16/02/2023 15:59

sqirrelfriends · 16/02/2023 15:51

Absolutely disgusting behaviour to release that information. Her poor kids will read that someday, why on earth would they make this harder on these children. What purpose does it serve, other than to satisfy a bunch of armchair detectives.

Because it was about to be made public by someone selling thr story anyway. This way the family knew in advance and have been able to make their own statement.

Escapingmadness · 16/02/2023 15:59

They didn't need to say all they did.

MH issues, perhaps, to explain her vulnerability.

The alcohol is probably irrelevant unless she was likely to be drunk first thing in the morning

The menopause is COMPLETELY irrelevant.

TeaAndTattoos · 16/02/2023 15:59

sqirrelfriends · 16/02/2023 15:51

Absolutely disgusting behaviour to release that information. Her poor kids will read that someday, why on earth would they make this harder on these children. What purpose does it serve, other than to satisfy a bunch of armchair detectives.

I think her poor kids would’ve been more upset if someone had sold stories about their mum which is what people where threatening to do so the family agreed to allow the police to release the information before someone had the chance to make money from it. Which is worse having the police release the information or have someone make money selling stories on her.

GetUps · 16/02/2023 16:01

Escapingmadness · 16/02/2023 15:59

They didn't need to say all they did.

MH issues, perhaps, to explain her vulnerability.

The alcohol is probably irrelevant unless she was likely to be drunk first thing in the morning

The menopause is COMPLETELY irrelevant.

But that's what was going g to be in the press and menopause is actually the area the family statement concentrates on.

If they only said "vulnerable" the expanded story would still have had monetary value.

Escapingmadness · 16/02/2023 16:05

It's scary to think if you have vulnerabilities you'll get a half arsed attempt to be found if you ever go missing.

Beaglesonlyplease · 16/02/2023 16:06

Sadly people decide “alcohol issues” are subject to judgement by all and sundry and it’s not even clear exactly what is meant by “alcohol issues “.
I don’t know Nicola but for someone to function as capably as she appeared to it’s concerning at the very least for anyone (family or police) as making her vulnerable just by virtue of doing what most people (rightly or wrongly do: I know I do) which is drink more when having a really difficult time.
At any rate it’s either just relevant to the police or not.
If her partner thought it so relevant why would he be saying it must be someone locally holding her, unless he meant she’s voluntarily staying with someone locally in which case he should have relayed that to the police and/or Peter directly when asking him to search the river.
No-one needs to know what the poor woman was thinking or feeling before she went missing as it’s not our business: if there hadn’t been so much pointing to presumed accidentally falling or family speculation about third parties the police could have done their investigations without” armchair detectives” wading in.
It’s not rocket science to think they could have said on day 1 or 2 of hat they considered her to be vulnerable without having half the country trawling her SM etc.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 16/02/2023 16:08

MyrtIe · 16/02/2023 10:44

So covering themselves, then, as it says in the article.

Police should be above bowing to pressure from social media, surely?

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@MyrtIe I absolutely agree. My Dear, but long departed Granddad, was a very well regarded policeman, he would be so ashamed of the Police Force right now. They should never disclose something publicly just to make themselves look better.

If there is an enquiry at some later date then they tell the behind closed doors enquiry board, then it would stay confidential. If exonerated, they can just say they were exonerated without having to give any details about why. Otherwise, I am sorry, but they just need to suck it up.

itsgettingweird · 16/02/2023 16:11

DillDanding · 16/02/2023 15:48

I fail to see how her reputation is being destroyed as some on here claim.

That in itself is insulting. I’d like to think if I struggled with menopause or issues with alcohol, people would not judge me on it, nor think it sullied my reputation.

And fwiw, if the police think these things are relevant in this case, they probably are. It might have been a factor and maybe it wasn’t. I’m not sure why they release info like this, perhaps it was an attempt to curtail the relentless amateur sleuthing.

Agree.

I said upthread it says more about those who have changed their mind about her or the situation in light of this news than it does about her, her family or the information.

Anyone of us could go missing and anyone of us could have skeletons that they attribute or not to it.

A lot of people go through vulnerable times.

Sow · 16/02/2023 16:11

No need to share this whatsoever. They should have said right from the begining she is a vulnerable missing person and left it at that. I do think the police have hugely mishandled this case and it's their poor communication that has caused this media storm and social media frenzy.