'Nicola Bulley's reputation 'destroyed' by police'

[MyrtIe]

Article here

The points made about victim blaming and the police disclosing this information to cover themselves are spot on imo.

The usual gutter press are having a field day with this today.

What exactly was the point of it? What's it achieved, apart from compounding the heartache of her loved ones?

YABU - the police were right to divulge this sensitive information as it was relevant to the investigation

YANBU - there was absolutely no need to do so

Yes indeed, totally normal and happy. My life is just fine. It was all the menopause. Once I started the correct medication for it I got my life back.
You are right people don't realise what a tough deal the menopause can be.

I'm not sure it was necessary to mention menopause issues but the fact she had recent and significant struggles with alcohol and therefore classed as vulnerable is surely very relevant information

As soon as she was officially 'missing' and the police and media involved it is odd that there was no previous mention of her vulnerability

My lovely neighbour went missing a few weeks ago. Just vanished, leaving her dog at home. She had walked a few miles out of town, onto a very high bridge and she jumped off. She was found on a nearby beach about a week later. It didn't even make big news.
So sorry to hear this, your poor neighbour💐

I think this has been so poorly managed from the start and I am not laying all the blame at the police's door. The media, public and in some way her family and friends had a part to play in this. The simple fact is adults go missing every day and often they are vulnerable adults for one reason or another and it is very rarely the case that there is third party involvement. My own friends mum went missing when she was a child and has never been found, assumption was always that she chose to disappear. The public just seemed unwilling to accept that there wasn't something more sinister going on and had decided someone must have abducted her. Whether this is due to the manner she disappeared and how unusual it was I don't know but all of the speculation has just added to the stress for the family and hampered the police's investigation. They are well used to this they look for missing people all the time the have normal procedures they follow but somehow joe public thought they knew better.

I hope the poor woman is found either way. We had a case here (Ireland) last year where a mum went missing, car was found close to the sea after loads of searching and public appeals there was no trace. Her body was found a couple of months later on the coast of Wales.

What have the family and friends done wrong?

That sounds awful, I hope you feel better now. The menopause can be hell and I'm not sure everyone understands that

They definitely dont. There is lots of talk about understanding mental health issues but when it comes to periods/hormones/menopause its tumbleweed and eye rolling. If it affected men, it would be completely different.

Police investigations aren’t about ‘winning’. The right thing to do is to only reveal what is necessary so that the public can assist with the investigation.

People felt the police knew more than they were letting on????Of course they fucking do! They’re meant to know more, it would be worrying if they didn’t. 🤦🏻‍♀️

The problem is, people think they have a right to know. People are becoming more and more entitled and quite honestly they need to be told to shut the fuck up sometimes. We’ve become a society where this isn’t said anymore though, starting with our kids. And everyone wants to be involved in everything. People have tried to align themselves with this case because they live locally, or they have a dog and do walks so it could have been them 🤔 ...ffs. The desperation to be involved is weird to me. Look at something like the London Bridge attack, people posting photos of themselves years before saying ‘OMG, could have been us’ or the accident at Alton Towers, people posting photos of themselves on it to involve themselves.... because they had been on the ride 3 months before... ffs, just fuck off.

“Vulnerable due to some medical problems” or “vulnerable do to some emotional problems” would have sufficed. She could not give permission for her olds to be broadcast on National media. It’s relevant to an investigation for those investigating , not for everyone to know.

Yes it’s being discussed

If asking the same question here irritates there’s a hide thread option.

If there's anything odd about this case it's the way it's had such a huge profile.

Adults go missing all the time. There's been a concerted push to keep ths in the press, which has mostly come from family and friends.

Knowing her vulnerabilities it is strange they have been so certain she can't be in the water. You wouldn't want to think about it, but it must surely be a circumstance that crosses your mind in such a situation.

This.

They’ve done the right thing announcing it. Everyone was suddenly being armchair police and making up absolutely disgusting allegations about her and her family. This way people know the facts and it explains why they focused on the river. I truly hope they find her but I don’t believe they will.

Exactly this. Mn needs to ban posts and on this topic.

Why the fuck would MN ban current topics in the news?

Idiotic.

Why does MN need to ban posts about a huge news story in the UK? This isn’t communist China FFS

Ban posts holding the police to account? When MPs, MH/addiction charities and others are doing the same?

Do you not think the police should be held to account?

I think it’s hugely likely media had a hold of this and we’re about to release all of the information - the alcoholism and the police call out. The Daily Mail already had images of Nicola drinking alcohol (that hadn’t previously been used) to run on a story that they released imminently after the police’s update. The Police seem to have got in their first and had their arm forced, in order to prevent the press having their narrative.

It’s a genuine question BTW - what’s the criteria for banning posts? All current affairs and news should be banned, no?

I think unfortunately given the level of press attention and speculation, it was necessary to release this information because it does put a different light on things. In the absence of this information I would be less likely to see this as a possible suicide and more likely to suspect her partner.

What have the family and friends done wrong? There was a lot of friends releasing their own statements and theories don't think it helped. Just my opionion

An active alcoholic could. That's rather the point I'm afraid.

Agree ludicrous suggestion

Just hide the threads and have mn as you want it. It’s not hard.

I’m in the middle on this debate. I’ve worked with the police on missing people, and having a broad picture was necessary to understand where they could be (suicide/awol/dead).
I don’t think the police should have ruled out other lines of enquiry because of this though, it just forms a larger part of the picture.

But maybe the family wanted the police to mention the menopause because this could have been the thing that had struggled her recent recurrence of alcohol issues. Otherwise people might have started suggesting she was drinking go block out domestic abuse or something given all the finger pointing that's been going on.

Unfortunately there is still such a stigma around alcoholism that people feel ashamed and need to give a reason for it. I say this as someone who has close experiences of addiction with a loved one.

Why do you think knowing that someone is struggling mentally should "ruin their reputation"? Anyone can suffer from mental health issues and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

It’s a genuine question BTW - what’s the criteria for banning posts? All current affairs and news should be banned, no?

Some one told ppl to hide the thread if they did not like it. Do's that rule only apply to the ppl that started this thread or to all threads on here??