'Nicola Bulley's reputation 'destroyed' by police'

[MyrtIe]

Article here

The points made about victim blaming and the police disclosing this information to cover themselves are spot on imo.

The usual gutter press are having a field day with this today.

What exactly was the point of it? What's it achieved, apart from compounding the heartache of her loved ones?

YABU - the police were right to divulge this sensitive information as it was relevant to the investigation

YANBU - there was absolutely no need to do so

So everyone on this thread except for you, right? Have a word with yourself.

💯 this. All of this.

I think if it was relevant the police should have said sooner and unfortunately because the police and the press have terrible form for suggesting female victims are somehow responsible for their own outcomes, I find it difficult to avoid the nagging feeling that this information release is to deflect from the police.

There was a murder recently that seemed to be reported as 'poor man killed his wife because she was too successful and he didn't like being in her shadow'. There been too many cases where victims are blamed or presented as unstable or vulnerable and then later there comes a revelation that it was male pattern violence, the police messed up/have a poor organisational culture, or both.

The press are responsible for this. I'd love to know how they choose which cases to throw a spot light on.

My lovely neighbour went missing a few weeks ago. Just vanished, leaving her dog at home. She had walked a few miles out of town, onto a very high bridge and she jumped off. She was found on a nearby beach about a week later. It didn't even make big news.

Massive LOL at people posting “it’s disgraceful that people are posting about her on the internet”. Are you stupid or do you just think you’re a special exception? Is someone holding a gun to your head forcing you to post.

This. I’ve read some absolutely vile comments on social media.

I think it was completely unnecessary for them to divulge that- its confidential information.

However, I dont agree that her reputation is ruined- menopause and using alcohol to cope is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our struggles and if we stopped viewing alcohol as some kind of amazing social lubricant until people have issues with it then it would de-stigmatise those with alcohol issues. Alcohol is an addictive drug- we push alcohol on others at social events constantly and as soon as they cant control it we tell them there is something wrong with them. Noone says that about smoking or other drugs. Equally, if there was more dialogue about the issues women face regarding the menopause perhaps it would become normalised and not something to feel embarrassed or ashamed about. Women always suffer the brunt of this stigma and I'm sick of it.

I'm so sorry for your loss 💐

I agree with you though, sadly. There is still huge stigma surrounding addiction issues, as the headlines today show. I've been a victim of gossip and judgement for my own issues in the past.

Of course this shouldn't be the case but the hard fact remains that many people are not understanding of addiction issues. Which is why making such details public, particularly in such a high profile case, should only be done if absolutely necessary. And surely they are only relevant to those investigating anyway.

All the armchair detectives treating it like a real life game of Cluedo have forced the police into disclosing information that would normally be kept private for the sake of the family.

Its not even just for the families sake they’d have kept that private - they’d have kept that quiet early on so that if she had/has taken herself off somewhere anyone around her or who found her wouldn’t know she was especially vulnerable.

The press are responsible for this. I'd love to know how they choose which cases to throw a spot light on.
I agree with this.
The press have whipped this story up.

I also suspect the press were about to leak stories of this whereas the police got in there first. The police couldnt win whatever line they took.

I agree.

There were witnesses and it was only a matter of time before things came out.

If it came out through the press it would have been much worse for the family.
At least this way they got to control how it came out.

Why should they have said something sooner? They diddnt want to divulge the information and rightly so too but unfortunately all the armchair detective's caused this.

I think they were forced to do it, to stop all the armchair detectives whipping up a frenzy on SM, they wouldn’t have wanted to release it but it’s very relevant.

It's time we stopped speculation and cheap press. It's time we thought about her young family and put them first. When they are bigger they will read the gutter press about their dear mum and feel awful.

It’s information that’s massively relevant to the investigation and search. But could have probably left it at ‘specific vulnerabilities’ for the general public. It’s does hugely change the whole thing though knowing that she was suffering from mental health issues.

I was also shocked they released that information. However I'd heard on the news (I'm not following it other than what I hear on the news) that they'd said she was vulnerable and there'd been a police wellness call out the week(?) before. I then assumed it could be a DV situation.

I couldn't have been the only one and I did think that perhaps they were trying to put pressure on her husband, because why else say it like that!

So I guess he received a shit tonne more hate than he's probably already got and so they made the decision to clarify the statement.

that would depend how long she had the alcohol issue

I also agree with this. For all we knew, and still know, she might have been under witness protection, she might have been the victim of domestic abuse.

If a personal is vulnerable then they are vulnerable. No one needs to know their entire life story. We are far too involved in other people's lives through social media etc when we should pay more attention to our own.

I think if all the nasty speculation had stayed on the internet, the police might have been able to keep this quiet. But given the physical harassment and vandalism in the village, the threats to her husband and the village councillors and the sheer level of TikTok nuisance, they didn’t have a choice. They believe she’s gone into the river and they have very good reason to believe that. People wouldn’t trust that they had information we didn’t, so it’s actually been necessary to release the information to try and calm things down.

Also, have I missed something? In what way will do slicing personal information stop the armchair detectives? It will just fuel them further! Now they know what to investigate even further. They’re not gonna go “Oh well we got our answer didn’t we!”

Sharing not slicing

There’s some awful stuff being allowed and left up. The speculation yesterday after the police revealed ‘vulnerabilities’ was dreadful. I reported many of the posts and was told as long as they’re not speculating about family members involvement, they felt the posts were fine. Disgraceful.

I wonder in that case whether it’s ok to speculate on the issues some of those obsessive posters on those multiple threads have have? I mean, I have no qualifications in psychiatry or psychology or anything, but based on mumsnet logic, I can just comment on their mental health, home lives, relationships etc. Let’s be honest, the most obsessive posters on that thread likely have some pretty significant issues going on. Let’s talk about them. Oh no, I’d be called a bully.

I don't find it reputation destroying, either.

But to suggest that there isn't stigma surrounding addiction is naive. And I'm sure you'll agree that irrelevant personal medical information should never, ever be made public without consent, particularly when doing so smacks of sexism and worse.

Don't you agree that the police should be held to account for their actions? Not just in this case, but all?

Maybe the police released the information themselves to stop it being leaked by the press. It must be awful for the family. You would think the police consulted them before releasing the information. I think it does have a bearing on enquiries. And I don't think its victim blaming in thix case.

I totally disagree that MNHQ should stop all NB posts. It’s huge national news. We should be allowed to discuss it and trust MNHQ to delete inappropriate posts and threads.

Don’t know about you lot but personally I’m not really in to censorship