'Nicola Bulley's reputation 'destroyed' by police'

[MyrtIe]

Article here

The points made about victim blaming and the police disclosing this information to cover themselves are spot on imo.

The usual gutter press are having a field day with this today.

What exactly was the point of it? What's it achieved, apart from compounding the heartache of her loved ones?

YABU - the police were right to divulge this sensitive information as it was relevant to the investigation

YANBU - there was absolutely no need to do so

At the start of this, the police did mention 'sensitivities' but nobody listened to that. Instead, people kept speculating and harassing the town/police, damaging the investigation. (I'm trying to find a link to show where it states this).

Ex-detective Mark Williams-Thomas tweeted yesterday, which seems he knew about Nicolas vulnerabilities and this has forced the Police into releasing this before he did (see attached). People just don't read.

I can't believe mumsnet has allowed threads regarding this to exist, which have ultimately played a part in the speculation and people's need for drama over a vulnerable woman.

@Amethystanddiamonds

I agree that whatever her actions were on the day and indicate nothing. My brother is a functioning alcoholic and goes to work everyday, obtained a degree that he was fast tracked on because he was doing so well and has raised children.

On the other hand, I have another alcoholic relative who goes from crisis to crisis and can't work or care for herself. And no amount of support has helped.

OP is only speculating on police motivation around the disclosure of this information.

We absolutely should speculate on the state of public services. Always.

I am not sure I agree with the information being released that said the narrative that has sprung up that having alcohol issues is somehow shameful, humiliating, reputation damaging, etc is part of the problem and why people with drink problems suffer in silence and hold onto shame instead of being open and seeking help.

for disclosure I also had a drink problem, exacerbated by menopause. I’m 18 months sober now thankfully

I have not - on this thread or anywhere else - speculated about the case. I have not followed it.

I have said that the police had no right or need to this information, and that it's another example of how the police (and society generally) seem to view women.

I've no idea how anyone can think this isn't an issue that we should be talking about.

Agree with this, the way some people are reacting “poor kids having everyone know” are making it seem taboo. To me the information’s material because it means that the circumstances surrounding her disappearance aren’t just limited to “she was abducted” or “she fell in the water trying to retrieve something”.

Exactly.

I don't but people continue to speculate and say she was put together and clearly wasn't drunk. Appearances can be deceiving. Just because she did get the kids to school and signed into teams while walking the dog means absolutely nothing. The only person that knows what state she was in that morning is Nicola herself.

I know plenty of alcoholics, and none of them have peachy, dewy skin, combined with bright eyes and white teeth and a healthy looking body. The alcoholics I know are either bloated with reddish skin (high blood pressure) or skinny and wired/haggard looking. Significant alcohol consumption takes its toll on your appearance and this person's appearance dies not indicate a significant alcohol problem. The husband looks more haggard.

Misogyny at its worst.

*to disclose this information

If there weren’t armchair Miss Marples flying drones over the investigation, trolling police accounts, invading the place are went missing looking for clues, going on TV, spreading rubbish via Twitter, and making “Tik Tok” videos about it .. they may not have released it.

Her family will have consented to the information being released, probably to stop idiots speculating about them.

My poor dad died not that long ago due to complications from alcoholism.

I promise you that there is very much still a stigma and shame around it. I’ve even been told ‘good riddance’ (those actual words) by people who see alcoholism as a flaw, or sinful. I’m trying to do my bit by breaking the stigma by being upfront and talking about it, and answering truthfully when people ask how he died. Even those with the best intentions are immediately uncomfortable when I say he was an alcoholic. We are not nearly close to understanding alcoholism as a society. And won’t be for some time I imagine.

Of course I know I am far more understanding and liberal, as are many people. But it’s not the point at all.

@User98866 Totally agree with everything you wrote.

I'm confused about the partner saying "someone in the village must know something" and "there's no way she's in the river", when we're now being told this.
And doing such an indepth TV interview, painting a picture of standard chaotic but happy-ish family life, but failing to mention any sort of vulnerabilities.
It's none of our business, but doing a TV interview makes it our business.
I thought this was a case of a woman with no vulnerabilities whatsoever vanishing into thin air, which makes it much more sinister and confusing than we now know that it might be.
Very tragic all round either way. Poor lady and her family.

Your entire thread is speculation - further encouraging the obsessed to further speculate.

It is a matter of fact if a woman is drinking to cope with her problems, be they depression, anxiety, or difficult symptoms of menopause. I don't find it reputation destroying for a human being to be in a vulnerable state.

Anyway, you clearly have no intention of following through and asking for your thread to be removed. Despicable.

The family did give the green light.

The alcohol issues could be relevant depending on the nature of them.

It could simply mean she liked a bottle of wine in the evening, that would be deemed as having an alcohol problem these days. On the other hand it could mean she was opening the vodka as soon as she dropped the kids off at school and was usually in a drunken haze by late morning. This might be relevant because perhaps someone in the street-drinking community will have their memory jogged by this information. This is speculation and I'm not saying either case is true, I'm just hypothesizing potential legitimate reasons for the police to make the information public.

I don't think the argument that "if it was relevant information the police should have divulged it immediately" holds much weight. If the police were convinced she was in the water, why divulge it? It would be irrelevant to this phase of the investigation. The police are expected to choose carefully what information they share and when, weighing up the pros and cons. If they thought she was in a vulnerable state, finding her alcohol problems splashed over the front pages might have tipped her over the edge. The police probably think now that risk/reward ratio has changed so it's worth informing the public.

Generally the police's priority will be getting as good an outcome as possible. The feelings of someone's family will be taken into account but would not override the police's need to take the best action to find someone safely, for example.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl good for you for trying to break the stigma. If only people saw it as an actual illness and the NHS provided proper services for mental health and addiction and we could get rid of this taboo around alcohol use.

Do we know this for sure?

The wannabe Miss Marples and Vultures of the internet fresh from watching Happy Valley and fancying themselves the detective hero destroyed her reputation.

The online speculation has been far worse than anything the police have shared to counter it. And Mumsnet has been a big part of the problem. Fucking vultures and tragedy rubberneckers the lot of you.

I think it’s because they said it was alcohol issues related to menopause?

I thought it was odd that they gave this information after the press conference. The female detective at the press conference refused to answer a question specifically about what made Nicola vulnerable when asked by a journalist. Did the family feel that it might be helpful in finding Nicola to disclose it or that by disclosing it, it might shut down some of the malicious speculation ?

I agree.

In the press conference yesterday the police revealed that she had vulnerabilities because they wanted to explain why she had been deemed high risk and the response they took. This was because they were trying to refute the speculation that has been rife on here and elsewhere.

As soon as that point was raised, I knew that it wouldn't be enough for the vultures and indeed, Mumsnet was immediately filled with people speculating on what those vulnerabilities were.

I expect the police revealed the later information in agreement with the family to put a stop to all of that additional speculation that immediately arose. It was probably extremely painful for the family to have the information out there, but probably better that than them having to read how Nicola had a health condition, was severely mentally ill, etc etc.

Some of you need to give your heads a wobble. Even after the conference yesterday people on this site were still making insinuations about her partner. And the people who are taking Peter Faulding's words as the gospel truth are ridiculous. The man has a book out, launched this month. He's using this case for publicity.

I agree