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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My niece creeped me out - death comment

143 replies

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:15

Tonight my niece (7 year old) looked at the hand print I had recent done with my 7 week old. My niece then innocently goes is that so you can remember Em? Then does this gesture of putting hand to throat (slit) I went what does that mean and she went death.

I’m now worrying as niece also few weeks ago kept saying “EM I don’t want you to grow up be this size forever” of course maybe innocent but had seen some TikTok of woman who said that then next thing.. tonight it freaked me though ger saying that!
i’m now :( - I said why did she think that and she didn’t really say…

OP posts:
MotherofBingo · 15/02/2023 22:03

Kids say creepy things all the time, they're constantly taking in information they don't always understand and not always from the best sources. My 7 year old has come out with a few comments lately that have raised some eyebrows, it turns out some of her classmates have a fascination with killing people at the moment (likely older siblings and watching videos/games they shouldn't be). They also have overactive imaginations. My 3 year old at the time went through a month of telling me about the shadow man looking through our window....we live on the 5th floor 😂. That was pretty creepy too but she grew out of it.

She might have seen something she shouldn't have or been exposed to it at school, she might even know of someone who's had a stillborn and had prints done of them and that might be playing on her mind too. So yes, I'd tell her mum - but no, I would not be ringing 101 🤨. A 7 year old isn't going to be left alone with the baby regardless of any questionable comments.

TerrysGotPeeves · 15/02/2023 22:09

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 22:03

YES! That’s my worry. Not my niece doing harm but the worry that her saying that, its like will this happen.

So you think that your niece saying something will actually make it happen?

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 22:10

TerrysGotPeeves · 15/02/2023 22:09

So you think that your niece saying something will actually make it happen?

It sounds ridiculous, I have autism and OCD. So to me that’s why I worry over that, it just seems odd

OP posts:
NaatQ968 · 15/02/2023 22:12

Yeah I'd totally not let that child near your baby.

Eyerollcentral · 15/02/2023 22:12

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 22:10

It sounds ridiculous, I have autism and OCD. So to me that’s why I worry over that, it just seems odd

Please don’t worry, it’s just a silly thing a 7 year old has done and won’t have given a second thought to

SmileyClare · 15/02/2023 22:14

Please don’t fixate on this. It’s just played into any mums worst fear, I get why you feel unsettled. It doesn’t mean anything bad will happen x

Mooshamoo · 15/02/2023 22:25

I remember being 7 years old playing Barbie's with my cousin.

We had the Barbie's committing suicide, we had them jumping off the couch pretending it was a cliff. And lying at the bottom. It totally freaked my aunt out.

I had no concept of what suicide was really. I remember I had the Barbie's doing it , because I had seen it on a TV show.

Children just repeat what they see on TV shows.

Rinkydinkydoodle · 15/02/2023 22:26

OP, struggling to word this because you’ve just had a baby and I remember what I was like after I’d just had DS, I would have been exactly the same, and can see why you are freaked out - but not because I think DN would do anything or ‘knows’ anything.

Thinking about my DD and her thought processes, I wonder is it possible DN has picked up the knowledge from someone, somewhere, grandparents, the internet, or wherever, that small babies are highly vulnerable ( a lot of talk about new babies focuses on what to do and what not to do and infant safety) and therefore she perceives that your new baby is more at risk from (her gesture) than say, she is or you are?

Doesn’t mean she’s personally planning anything but maybe she has picked up that there’s a degree of danger involved in simply being a baby, but as a 7 y.o she hasn’t been told that the outcome of things going wrong are not something people commonly talk about in casual conversation, and especially not to new mothers, despite there being a lot of conversational focus otherwise on said risks?

Mummyratbag · 15/02/2023 22:26

7/8 was about the age I began to understand about death (a class mate died and so did my grandfather) - she might just be processing her own mortality and discovering what subjects are taboo with adults!

AcrossthePond55 · 15/02/2023 22:26

Seven years old is of an age to be trying to 'process' the idea of 'what death means'. If there's been a death in her 'orbit' (relative, family acquaintance, neighbour, etc) or if she's been watching a show with a storyline that includes death (like Wednesday, which I probably wouldn't allow a 7 year old to watch) then she may be trying to process that information. At 7, that can result in what may seem to us to be inappropriate or thoughtless remarks.

Speak to her mother, maybe her mum should initiate a simple talk with her DD.

Popplcroft · 15/02/2023 22:31

Don’t be ridiculous. My 7 year old said to me today ‘I’ll love you forever. Even when you’re dead’. They’re just starting to comprehend dying and talk about it a lot. She’s not fucking psychic or about to kill your child.

Mariposista · 15/02/2023 22:35

Kids do say weird things. Mention it to her parents.

Pieceofpurplesky · 15/02/2023 22:36

Has she, or a friend, had a pet die? They take footprints sometimes and send them to the owners.

Obviously if the pets have feet.

MysteryBelle · 15/02/2023 22:38

I think it’s disturbing what she said to you. Had nothing to do with the topic, then she links the handprint to ‘remembering’ her and shows a slit throat gesture and goes on to say death. They are nasty and gruesome things to say and even 7 year olds know better, I’d say tiny children know better. My dc would never have said something like that. I have been around a lot of children over the years and that is first time I’ve heard of a kid doing that. And about a newborn baby 😱 I’d let her mother and father know, and I would not have her spending time at my house around my child for at least a while until you’ve figured out what is going on with her.

fyn · 15/02/2023 22:39

Who is letting a seven year old watch Wednesday… Characters are quite graphically murdered, Wednesday has premonitions of the murders and I’m certain does the throat slitting motion in it.

Sux2buthen · 15/02/2023 22:39

Wednesday in one of the movies makes that gesture.

Also I'm not superstitious at all in any way but when I was pregnant I couldn't hear certain words because they felt like a jinx and then the same when they were babies. I'm not so bad now but anything to do with my kids and I turn into a paranoid superstitious twit that's knocking 3 times and avoiding ladders and all that GrinI get it op

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/02/2023 22:39

DuplicateUserName · 15/02/2023 21:26

She probably knows someone (or of someone) who's had prints of their stillborn done or something.

Combination of this and having seen a slit throat gesture in the playground or on telly but not understanding the impact.

Mention it to her mum, but in a ‘she probably needs to know not to do that’

Saying she doesn’t want your daughter to grow up is totally, people often say that about cute babies.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/02/2023 22:40

MysteryBelle · 15/02/2023 22:38

I think it’s disturbing what she said to you. Had nothing to do with the topic, then she links the handprint to ‘remembering’ her and shows a slit throat gesture and goes on to say death. They are nasty and gruesome things to say and even 7 year olds know better, I’d say tiny children know better. My dc would never have said something like that. I have been around a lot of children over the years and that is first time I’ve heard of a kid doing that. And about a newborn baby 😱 I’d let her mother and father know, and I would not have her spending time at my house around my child for at least a while until you’ve figured out what is going on with her.

And this is how people get themselves worked up.

SkivingSnackboxes · 15/02/2023 22:43

@Lanzy tell your sister that you think your niece is going to kill your child and see how ridiculous you are actually being. No doubt you won't be allowed to see her again and frankly I think that's the best for everyone

MysteryBelle · 15/02/2023 22:51

It’s not a common nor a natural thing for a child to say about a baby. It’s not getting worked up to let the parents know and to limit contact until you’ve found out what got her thinking and saying those things. That is perfectly reasonable and logical.

Xmasbaby11 · 15/02/2023 22:53

Hmm it's an unsettling comment with the gesture but I wonder if she meant it as a joke and got the tone wrong. My ASD daughter still does this at 11 - she doesn't 'get' how to make something clear it's a joke, but of course we all know her.

The comment about staying a baby forever, I wouldn't take any notice or connect it to the other one. People say that all the time!

MysteryBelle · 15/02/2023 22:53

It’s also a very unkind and gruesome thing to say. If others think it’s fine, ok 🙄

Climbles · 15/02/2023 22:56

She’s seen something on TV with a foot print memorial for a baby. She’s not predicting anything she’s just a kid and they say weird stuff.

Yahyahs22 · 15/02/2023 22:59

That's what happens when you let a 7 year old watch something that is made for teenagers twice her age and above. She's mimicking something from Wednesday.

midnightblue12 · 15/02/2023 23:06

It's very eerie isn't it.
I would just mention it to her parents and then don't leave them alone together 😵‍💫