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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My niece creeped me out - death comment

143 replies

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:15

Tonight my niece (7 year old) looked at the hand print I had recent done with my 7 week old. My niece then innocently goes is that so you can remember Em? Then does this gesture of putting hand to throat (slit) I went what does that mean and she went death.

I’m now worrying as niece also few weeks ago kept saying “EM I don’t want you to grow up be this size forever” of course maybe innocent but had seen some TikTok of woman who said that then next thing.. tonight it freaked me though ger saying that!
i’m now :( - I said why did she think that and she didn’t really say…

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 15/02/2023 21:33

Why not talk to her about it? You sound close if she stays overnight.

Shes right in a way- baby footprints are used as a keepsake if a baby dies. She doesn’t understand at her age that it’s a tactless thing to say.

Why not explain that it’s not nice to talk about dying by doing a slit throat gesture? She might upset people. At 7, she should understand.

I don’t think you need to be concerned, perhaps she’s struggling with some jealousy if you’re very close and spend a lot of time with her?
That doesn’t mean there’s anything sinister or woo in her comments

vintagechristmas · 15/02/2023 21:33

Hmmm. Has anyone watched or read under the banner of heaven and discussed that in front of her?

Ludo19 · 15/02/2023 21:34

That would have scared the shit out of me but I'm not a fan of spooky stuff...

ShesThunderstorms · 15/02/2023 21:34

Who's Em? Are you Em? Is she Em?

Pippa12 · 15/02/2023 21:34

We often do hand/foot prints of people that have passed away at work, maybe it’s been talked about at school with friends, you tube or a programme?

Momo18 · 15/02/2023 21:35

My 5 year old tells me in going to die! Honestly I'd have a word with her parent/s and be a bit cautious but try not to over think it too. She's maybe seen a baby memorial online or someone she knows.

ShesThunderstorms · 15/02/2023 21:36

Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't read your post properly about who Em is.

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:37

Em is nickname for my daughter -x

OP posts:
Undermyumberellaellaella · 15/02/2023 21:37

ShesThunderstorms · 15/02/2023 21:34

Who's Em? Are you Em? Is she Em?

I had to read this a few time - I think it's the daughter ?

wnaksr · 15/02/2023 21:38

Weird

PlumbleCrumble · 15/02/2023 21:38

It might just be her not fully understanding why you have made it. Because it IS sort of to remember your daughter at this age/size, but not because she won't be there, just because she will grow bigger?

BethFromThisIsUs · 15/02/2023 21:39

It’s a bit of a weird thing to say. My daughter is 7 and I’d want to know if she’d said something like that, even just to chat it through and answer questions/set her straight/find out where it came from.

SmileyClare · 15/02/2023 21:39

I disagree that it’s gas lighting to acknowledge that new mums can struggle with feeling anxious or paranoid and that can be a symptom of PND?

Op is feeling freaked out and worried enough to start a thread, it is a little bit irrational..

Apologies if I offended anyone, not my intention at all.

PlumbleCrumble · 15/02/2023 21:40

That being said, my SD often says stuff like this. She is trying to be funny, but it usually isn't. Might be part of forming personality? Hopefully as otherwise I also have a creepy one!

Janbohonut · 15/02/2023 21:40

Kids are weird and say weird stuff.
You're honing your instincts to protect your baby so super-alert to anything 'off' - and that is off, but she's a kid and clueless.
Not to sound patronising but try to sleep.

MrsMikeDrop · 15/02/2023 21:40

ShakespearesBlister · 15/02/2023 21:22

A 7 year old making a slit throat gesture about a baby? Yeah that wouldn't be the least bit worrying....

That sounds creepy AF!! Probably nothing, this is why young kids shouldn't be watching TV and be on the net unsupervised 😬

ClimbingRoseBush · 15/02/2023 21:42

My DD is a similar age and says similar things, but she has suffered a traumatic bereavement and thinks everyone might die at any second. I’d guess maybe your niece is in a class with another child who’s been bereaved.

Branleuse · 15/02/2023 21:42

I would tell your neice that she mustnt say things like that as its creepy. That you dont know what on earth shes been watching, but that you dont say that sort of thing

Inastatus · 15/02/2023 21:43

@Roundabout78 - v aggressive reply! U ok hun? 😅
I hadn’t even RTFT so didn’t know about the spiritual/homocidal posts but my initial reaction to the OP was WTF that’s not right on any level for a 7 year old and yes something to be obviously worried about.

User505351 · 15/02/2023 21:43

My friend has footprints of her baby who died in a frame on her wall. It's quite a common thing to do if someone dies young, maybe your niece has seen that somewhere and made the connection? Or maybe she's heard about memory footprints and it's just lodged in the back of her mind somewhere but she's not really thought it all through so it came out weird.

twitterexile · 15/02/2023 21:44

Keep a very close eye on her around your baby OP. That's all.

fooyangcake · 15/02/2023 21:44

ShakespearesBlister · 15/02/2023 21:21

Don't turn your back on her 😱

Wtf

Singularity82 · 15/02/2023 21:44

Inastatus · 15/02/2023 21:43

@Roundabout78 - v aggressive reply! U ok hun? 😅
I hadn’t even RTFT so didn’t know about the spiritual/homocidal posts but my initial reaction to the OP was WTF that’s not right on any level for a 7 year old and yes something to be obviously worried about.

Maybe rtft before you reply 👍🏻

dontgobaconmyheart · 15/02/2023 21:44

I expect she's just seen somewhere that that is what people very often do to memorialise a death or as a keepsake, I don't think it's likely to be a great deal more than that. I feel as though I see images of that sort or adverts for kits for these types of things an awful lot on social media. She's very young and i don't think it's much of a leap that she's picked up an understanding or association of seeing the hand print, and that.

She's old enough to have just asked her why she would say that about the handprint or where she's seen that idea, and to tell her that we shouldn't make the gestures she was making. No need to go all X-files about it.

steff13 · 15/02/2023 21:46

I wouldn't worry about it, little kids can be creepy sometimes. My daughter went through a phase at about that age where she was afraid to go to sleep because she thought she might be a vampire, and she thought she would bite me. We had many discussions about how she isn't a vampire.

I would mention it to the parents, in case she is watching something inappropriate on tv or something. I don't think that my daughter at 12 knows the finger across the throat gesture.