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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My niece creeped me out - death comment

143 replies

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:15

Tonight my niece (7 year old) looked at the hand print I had recent done with my 7 week old. My niece then innocently goes is that so you can remember Em? Then does this gesture of putting hand to throat (slit) I went what does that mean and she went death.

I’m now worrying as niece also few weeks ago kept saying “EM I don’t want you to grow up be this size forever” of course maybe innocent but had seen some TikTok of woman who said that then next thing.. tonight it freaked me though ger saying that!
i’m now :( - I said why did she think that and she didn’t really say…

OP posts:
Singularity82 · 15/02/2023 21:46

dontgobaconmyheart · 15/02/2023 21:44

I expect she's just seen somewhere that that is what people very often do to memorialise a death or as a keepsake, I don't think it's likely to be a great deal more than that. I feel as though I see images of that sort or adverts for kits for these types of things an awful lot on social media. She's very young and i don't think it's much of a leap that she's picked up an understanding or association of seeing the hand print, and that.

She's old enough to have just asked her why she would say that about the handprint or where she's seen that idea, and to tell her that we shouldn't make the gestures she was making. No need to go all X-files about it.

Exactly this. 👏
The hysteria on this thread…for goodness sake.

PlumbleCrumble · 15/02/2023 21:46

I think if she says something like this again, the best thing to do would be to ask her why she said it and go from there. She might give you an explanation that makes sense to her (e.g. seen something like it before) or it might be she is trying to be funny, in which case best to explain these are not things to joke about.

WorkCleanRepeat · 15/02/2023 21:47

I think she's just associated the footprint with some sort of memorial. Sounds like pretty standard 7 year-old nonsense to me.

Hamster1111 · 15/02/2023 21:48

I think she's just associating the prints with remembering someone and then has (inappropriately) done the slit throat gesture because she's seen that somewhere to mean death. I think you're only linking the other comment about staying that size forever because of the other conversation. In isolation that's not a worrying thing to say. She just means your baby is cute. Maybe mention to her mum about the throat gesture as its not ideal for her to be doing it but I doubt she fully understands what she's implying. She's just processing things in her own mind / chatting to you - I don't think she's plotting to kill your baby or having some kind of premonition if that's what you're worried about!

Eyerollcentral · 15/02/2023 21:49

She is 7. She doesn’t understand the impact of what she is saying or doing. You are over thinking it.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 15/02/2023 21:49

Is she allowed to watch scary movies OP?

My niece was exactly the same, still is age 11 (she now reads serial killer books and has watched Dahmer). She’s not dangerous (yet) she’s just been allowed to watch inappropriate content and as a result is a bit weird and death obsessed. I do not turn my back on her!

Original poster
Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:50

My sister said she has been watching Wednesday on Netflix would this have anything?

OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 15/02/2023 21:50

All these posts minimising this - if it had been a 7yo nephew there’d be people calling 101 🙄

Inastatus · 15/02/2023 21:50

Singularity82 · 15/02/2023 21:44

Maybe rtft before you reply 👍🏻

Show quote history

@Roundabout78 nope, my comment relates solely to roundabouts initial reply to the OP, did not need to read others take on the situation.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 15/02/2023 21:50

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:50

My sister said she has been watching Wednesday on Netflix would this have anything?

My almost 10yo had watched Wednesday and was fine with it. It’s spooky rather than scary.

DuplicateUserName · 15/02/2023 21:51

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:29

Nope no one :( so that makes it odd

Show quote history

How could you possibly know?

If not, she could've seen it on TV. Also, she made the slit throat movement because she didn't want to use the word 'death' by the sound of it, so she was trying to be sensitive.

Eyerollcentral · 15/02/2023 21:52

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 15/02/2023 21:50

All these posts minimising this - if it had been a 7yo nephew there’d be people calling 101 🙄

No I wouldn’t. Why would you??? Boy or girl they are 7.

Noonesperfect · 15/02/2023 21:53

This was my immediate thought as well

Inastatus · 15/02/2023 21:53

Sorry roundabout my post above was meant for @Singularity82

Noonesperfect · 15/02/2023 21:54

DuplicateUserName · 15/02/2023 21:26

She probably knows someone (or of someone) who's had prints of their stillborn done or something.

Sorry meant to quote this poster

SaltanVinegar · 15/02/2023 21:54

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:50

My sister said she has been watching Wednesday on Netflix would this have anything?

There is a bit of death in that, and IMO it is too mature for 7 year olds. My (almost) 11yo has seen it, and doesn’t find it scary, but I wouldn’t allow a 7yo to watch it.

WinterDeWinter · 15/02/2023 21:57

I think she's been told about the fact that some parents whose babies are stillborn have handprints or photos taken.

NumberTheory · 15/02/2023 21:58

Lanzy · 15/02/2023 21:50

My sister said she has been watching Wednesday on Netflix would this have anything?

It is the sort of thing Wednesday would do, yes.

Hiddenvoice · 15/02/2023 21:58

She probably doesn’t realise you want the prints to remember the baby size as she won’t realise parents are sentimental about that. She probably thinks you want them incase something happens. She most likely isn’t meaning it to scare you and has just popped into her head.

CinderellasBoot · 15/02/2023 22:00

I'd be freaked too.

Probably harmless but still I wouldn't be relaxed if they were left together alone.

Sorry this it's taken the joy out of the footprint keepsake.

SmileyClare · 15/02/2023 22:02

All these posts minimising this

Minimising what? Op has said she’s not concerned about her niece hurting the baby, she’s worried that her niece is having a supernatural premonition about death and is feeling “freaked out”.

I won’t just minimise that line of thought, I’d completely rule it out. It’s irrational and it’s one of those things that seem silly after a good nights sleep and some reflection.

Thepumpkinpatch1 · 15/02/2023 22:02

I get it op, children can be quite woo without even realizing it.

If this was me, I would be taking some precautionary steps that would help to put my mind at ease.

Do you have something that monitors your baby as she sleeps? The Owlet monitor is fab (I’m sure there are others).

watcherintherye · 15/02/2023 22:02

Feeling paranoid or anxious can be an indicator of PND or PNA.

Can also be as a result of someone implying your 7 week old baby might die!

Try not to read too much into it, op, although most people would have been unsettled by such a comment. Kids do say weird things as they start to try and make sense of the world.

Inastatus · 15/02/2023 22:03

Inastatus · 15/02/2023 21:50

@Roundabout78 nope, my comment relates solely to roundabouts initial reply to the OP, did not need to read others take on the situation.

Show quote history

@Singularity82 - tagged roundabout instead of you earlier.

Original poster
Lanzy · 15/02/2023 22:03

SmileyClare · 15/02/2023 22:02

All these posts minimising this

Minimising what? Op has said she’s not concerned about her niece hurting the baby, she’s worried that her niece is having a supernatural premonition about death and is feeling “freaked out”.

I won’t just minimise that line of thought, I’d completely rule it out. It’s irrational and it’s one of those things that seem silly after a good nights sleep and some reflection.

YES! That’s my worry. Not my niece doing harm but the worry that her saying that, its like will this happen.

OP posts: