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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of MH problems

82 replies

Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 00:38

I’m not so inconsiderate that I don’t believe they exist but it seems that nearly everyone I meet has mental health problems, I was married to a man that was in the forces & he seriously suffered from PTSD but now it seems that everyone & his wife has depression/anxiety/PTSD/ADHD & I honestly feel it’s all self diagnosed

OP posts:
discobrain · 15/02/2023 00:41

Go away.

honeyytoast · 15/02/2023 00:50

I think the people suffering from them are probably more sick of it than you are

lborgia · 15/02/2023 00:54

So unreasonable.

Yes there will be people who use it as a caveat, but they belong in hell with those who say they have an allergy, when they don't. And you can join them.

These conditions are better recognised, more frequently diagnosed, and so people are more likely to be helped, and certainly feel better to know they're not just going mad.

I was dx with PTSD over 20 years ago. Until then I was really worried I was borderline. With great treatment it is much more manageable, and I'm pretty functional, most of the time.

Add the impact of covid /mass panic and lockdown, and mental health issues are ever prevalent.

SouperNoodle · 15/02/2023 00:56

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 01:00

It’s a genuine question. As someone who knows firsthand what PTSD is & the serious affect it has on a person I honestly don’t understand how anyone can claim they have PTSD without knowing or understanding the symptoms & trauma especially as most I have spoken to have never seen a health professional, I’m not minimising anyone’s experience but I just feel that everyone now has likes to label themselves with a problem.

OP posts:
Mumof3teenagers · 15/02/2023 01:05

Op, it’s attitudes like yours that stop people admitting they have problems and reaching out!
Who says your dh’s issues are more real than some else’s?

CaponeOnTax · 15/02/2023 01:06

It’s not a competition, but you can be the winner if you like.

Original poster
Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 01:15

I think I’m being misunderstood or misinterpreted, I’m not suggesting that MH problems don’t exist. I’m just pointing out that serious problems are being used by people without diagnosis.

OP posts:
albapunk · 15/02/2023 01:18

I can sort of understand where you are coming from OP.

Mental Health issues are of course genuine, and should be regarded as a proper medical issue, free of taboo with treatment and help available without judgement or scorn.

BUT

A level of anxiety, feeling down and sad, feeling upset and confused, agitated....all perfectly normal and not necessarily the result of an actual Mental Health issue.

ashitghost · 15/02/2023 01:18

Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 01:00

It’s a genuine question. As someone who knows firsthand what PTSD is & the serious affect it has on a person I honestly don’t understand how anyone can claim they have PTSD without knowing or understanding the symptoms & trauma especially as most I have spoken to have never seen a health professional, I’m not minimising anyone’s experience but I just feel that everyone now has likes to label themselves with a problem.

You don’t know first hand what PTSD is like. Your ex husband does. Unless you’ve got it too?

Mumof3teenagers · 15/02/2023 01:21

Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 01:15

I think I’m being misunderstood or misinterpreted, I’m not suggesting that MH problems don’t exist. I’m just pointing out that serious problems are being used by people without diagnosis.

Ok, I get you now….I think some people use the terms wrongly. If they’re having a bad day, they might say they’re depressed. If they’re a bit worried, they may use the term anxious/anxiety.
My daughter has OCD ( diagnosed) and I know it annoys her when people flippantly say …. Oh that’s just my ocd …. Just because they like a neat desk or things orderly.
It does take away from the seriousness of these conditions and the impact they can have on individuals.

Original poster
Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 01:24

ashitghost · 15/02/2023 01:18

You don’t know first hand what PTSD is like. Your ex husband does. Unless you’ve got it too?

Show quote history

Ok yes you’re correct, however I do understand & know what it’s like to live with someone who is suffering from PTSD & it’s very difficult & unimaginable to people that have never been in that situation so when I hear people saying that they are suffering from depression/anxiety/PTSD or trauma from having a boyfriend cheat on them 20 years ago I find that very difficult to believe

OP posts:
FriedasCarLoad · 15/02/2023 01:24

I agree with OP. I have complex and debilitating MH problems.

I get so irritated by people self-diagnosing what often sound like everyday emotional ups and downs. Itv actually makes life harder for those of us who are genuinely ill.

Vegandiva · 15/02/2023 01:25

You might find this podcast episode interesting as it touches on what you mentioned (and the guest was diagnosed bipolar at a young age so has a fair amount of insight into the topic of mental illness).

“In Bari’s view, Freddie deBoer is one of the best writers in the country. It’s not because she always agrees with him. Hardly. Freddie is a self-described Marxist.
What she appreciates about him is that he is unflinching about criticizing “his side.” Freddie is one of the most trenchant critics of what he calls “Social Justice Politics”—which he argues distracts the left from the real issue of class.
He is also unflinching in his views about mental illness and the way it is being glorified in our culture right now. Freddie knows about this subject intimately. He has severe bipolar disorder, and has been institutionalized in the past when he was on the verge of violently acting out. Today: a conversation about “the gentrification of disability,” how sickness became chic, and how our society should handle the epidemic of mental illness.”

www.honestlypod.com/podcast/episode/e8701381/does-glorifying-sickness-deter-healing

Original poster
Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 01:32

Mumof3teenagers · 15/02/2023 01:21

Ok, I get you now….I think some people use the terms wrongly. If they’re having a bad day, they might say they’re depressed. If they’re a bit worried, they may use the term anxious/anxiety.
My daughter has OCD ( diagnosed) and I know it annoys her when people flippantly say …. Oh that’s just my ocd …. Just because they like a neat desk or things orderly.
It does take away from the seriousness of these conditions and the impact they can have on individuals.

Show quote history

Yes exactly this. I’m honestly not suggesting that anyone would want to have a MH issue or minimise it for those that do but it does seem that any emotional experience people have is being treated as a MH problem when it isn’t

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiptoearound · 15/02/2023 01:33

Vegandiva · 15/02/2023 01:25

You might find this podcast episode interesting as it touches on what you mentioned (and the guest was diagnosed bipolar at a young age so has a fair amount of insight into the topic of mental illness).

“In Bari’s view, Freddie deBoer is one of the best writers in the country. It’s not because she always agrees with him. Hardly. Freddie is a self-described Marxist.
What she appreciates about him is that he is unflinching about criticizing “his side.” Freddie is one of the most trenchant critics of what he calls “Social Justice Politics”—which he argues distracts the left from the real issue of class.
He is also unflinching in his views about mental illness and the way it is being glorified in our culture right now. Freddie knows about this subject intimately. He has severe bipolar disorder, and has been institutionalized in the past when he was on the verge of violently acting out. Today: a conversation about “the gentrification of disability,” how sickness became chic, and how our society should handle the epidemic of mental illness.”

www.honestlypod.com/podcast/episode/e8701381/does-glorifying-sickness-deter-healing

Thank you I will listen to that

OP posts:
crew2022 · 15/02/2023 02:06

I think mental health is a spectrum and a clinical diagnosis is at one end whereas milder feelings of anxiety and depression are at the other. It's all 'mental health' but only the more severe end is a clinical issue rather than feelings.

Isithotinhere · 15/02/2023 02:38

I agree - there was a recent thread where a woman complained that breastfeeding had damaged her mental health, but it read as if like she found it demanding and boring, it didn't impact on her mental health eg by contributing to PND - which in itself gets self-diagnosed quite a bit now. There was a trend a few years ago that over 50% of celebrity new mothers seemed to announce that they had PND. I thought it was to make them relatable - "don't envy me my day and night nannies, I'm just like you" - or to get colum inches and for people to be nice to them, as they are giving fake intimacy. Now that we're all healthy and self-actualised, the PND notices a lot more subdued.

I find it irritating - it can all be a bit emo kid, as if it's shallow to be just getting on OK with l

MavisMcMinty · 15/02/2023 02:48

These are very anxious, worrying times. Cost of living crisis, polarised division across political, cultural, societal and financial lines, anger in all quarters… It’d be hard not to have mental health problems in today’s world.

Overthebow · 15/02/2023 03:13

Yes I agree with you op. It makes it harder for those of us with diagnosed conditions to be understood. Those saying they have anxiety because they’re a bit worried about something which is a normal reaction for example.

Fifi00 · 15/02/2023 03:18

I work within MH and I think it's fantastic the stigma is somewhat eroding for some MH conditions. Sadly the more serious ones like Schizophrenia and personality disorders still have stigma. I'd say there's more people saying they have depression/anxiety but it's minor . I had my first serious episode of endogenous depression at the age of 12 I couldn't really get out of bed and I had to be hospitalised. I don't really get offended by people saying they are depressed the erosion of stigma has really helped.

icefishing · 15/02/2023 03:28

ADHD isn't a mental health problem if that helps?

bonzaitree · 15/02/2023 03:29

OP you’re wrong. Soz.

educate yourself.

RenegadeMasterx · 15/02/2023 03:35

I have bipolar (type 2) after being on antidepressants and mood stabilisers from the age of 16 (I'm now 28) properly diagnosed by a psychiatrist.
I think the problem is.. we're in some sort of phase where it's edgy or trendy to have a mental illness which I think is absolutely terrifying. I've come across so many TikTok videos recently of people saying if you have these symptoms, you have ADHD. I, and most my household tick every box... but I know of people with diagnosed ADHD and we do not even compare!
Anxiety is a common feeling and I'd be worried if no one ever felt or experienced it. It's only a problem when it's continuous and you feel it for no specific reason, and it starts to take control of your daily life.
I don't know what I'm saying here, it's not that I don't 'believe' people have these problems of course I do. But I can see where OP is coming from, suddenly there's an enormous influx of it I think, and self diagnosing mental health illnesses is not cool (and most people who have them will never shout about them, barely anyone I know knows I have bipolar as I hate it).

keeprunning55 · 15/02/2023 03:37

I think there are varying levels of MH illnesses and I agree that many use the words associated with them flippantly.
I have diagnosed PTSD and I’m having treatment for it. I have only told my close family because I know others won’t understand the seriousness of it and impact on my life, which will make me feel even worse than I do.