To be sick of MH problems

[Tiptoearound]

I’m not so inconsiderate that I don’t believe they exist but it seems that nearly everyone I meet has mental health problems, I was married to a man that was in the forces & he seriously suffered from PTSD but now it seems that everyone & his wife has depression/anxiety/PTSD/ADHD & I honestly feel it’s all self diagnosed

You know what I was all ready to disagree with you but I actually agree with you. People bring out the mental health card in some circumstances to excuse shitty behaviour. Or people will see someone explain that they have it and explain symptoms and automatically think they have it too. Honestly it’s a joke. I’ve had to fight for the treatment for my diagnosed conditions and people think they can just lie .

So unhelpful.

Totally agree OP. Everyone has a physical health & a mental health. But a serious mental health illness is very different from the normal ups and downs of how you are feeling mentally. In the same way that having a serious physical illness is different from having normal aches & pains. I take anti anxiety medication but I don’t see myself as having a mental health illness - in the same way I might take ibuprofen for a sore back after too much gardening. Having seen my son critically ill with psychosis and then bipolar I find it frustrating when the ‘mental elf’ gets wheeled out so frequently.

There are some who pretend to have something for attention, because they think it's edgy or trendy, to get out of doing something, to get money.

Then there are those who truly have issues and it's obvious, but they deny it and refuse to do anything about it.

It's fairly easy to tell the difference after spending time with them.

The stigma is still very real and I can truly only count on hotlines and professionals the times I spiraled out of control.

Actually as somebody who has been a psychiatric inpatient, YANBU.

I’m tired of hearing about it too. I told close friends and family when I was in hospital but that was it - I didn’t feel the need to do an ‘okay not to be okay’ Instagram post, or some kind of ‘raising awareness’ type thing when I was out.

Normal feelings have now been pathologised so being nervous is ‘anxiety’, being sad is ‘depressed’ - everyone seems to think anything more than a fleeting moment of discomfort warrants a diagnosis and medication.

I was glad at one point that stigmas were being broken but now I feel we’ve gone beyond that, my social media news feeds are just rammed with navel gazing nonsense and much less humour than they used to be. This obsession with introspection is really irritating and actually makes me feel worse, sometimes all you want to do is be distracted and have normal conversations or jokes yet everything is so serious and revolves around ‘mental health’

Ugh. As someone who struggles SO much with my mental health, I really, really hate people who say stuff like this. Speaking out and admitting to having MH issues is SO hard and it’s so distressing and worrying and just horrible in every way to know that some people - people like you - will just be rolling your eyes and assuming it’s fake or some kind of weird lie. I hate this so much. It makes me feel like I can’t be open or honest about my struggles for fear of being ridiculed. Try to be sensitive. MH isn’t a competition.

I think it's multiple reasons.

1. It was probably prevalent throughout history but hidden. Those that were noticed were locked away in asylums, or ostracised so they would just disappear. Therefore people didn't know and it wasn't recorded.

1. There is a lot of trauma in the world. Abuse, war, poverty. Oddly enough there doesn't seem to be much protection. Most abusers don't fear police anymore, someone attacks you and they generally get away with it. Unless there is video evidence or a clear cut case there isn't much justice, even if there is it's a lengthy court case. So victims live in fear. In history other people would defend you and you'd get some sort of protection. In this society self defence isn't really allowed. So I can see how ptsd is prevalent not just in veterans.

Anxiety, we have a very hardcore pace of life. Esp for women who use to only focus on family, now have to do that whilst running a home and financially providing for their family. In history a home was generally guaranteed, either left by family or easy to obtain, now most people who work even have to fight not to be homeless, that's anxiety provoking. I think life is just so complicated that most adults are in constant fight or flight mode. We don't have each other's back like in communities so most people are completely on their own and loneliness is not great for humans who I think are like pack mentality animals.

I guess if we are going against our natural instincts constantly somethings going to mess up and perhaps it's our minds 😬

Totally agree OP, I had a freak accident a few years ago which resulted in a broken bone and now certain other routine situations make me very wary and anxious. I know I probably need some help to work through this but a well meaning friend told me I probably have PTSD! I don’t think that’s the case but if I was so inclined I’d probably wallow in that “diagnosis” as a lot of people see to do these days.

Having worked briefly in a MH drop in centre I think there’s a vein of truth in what OP is saying
I think some people can’t differentiate between mental illness and being a bit pissed off
there were people who lives were hell with there MH struggles crippling and affected every aspect of there lives . I’ve worked with people who have thrown themselves out of windows and set fire to themselves heartbreaking that’s MH
At work we had they unpopular task of moving people on to jobs they didn’t want to do
few claimed stress/anxiety thing is soon as they got there own way cured overnight

I agree OP - I work with young people, and I quite frequently hear people say “I can’t do that because I have anxiety” - when what they mean is I feel anxious about that - something which is very normal and healthy. Often the language around mental ill health is used as a barrier or a reason not to make changes, it’s really difficult to hear this and treat the person respectfully when part of my job is to help them to take action to change their lives.I often recommend the book ‘why did no one tell me this before’ which I love - it talks about the fact that you can getting mentally ‘fitter’ through training and practice - Talks about perspective and suggests that you spend time identifying your triggers and early stage symptoms of mental health challenges so you can make changes - rather like being aware of slight changes in blood pressure or weight gain and knowing what they could mean in terms of your physical health so you make diet or excercise changes - it’s a good read

This whole thread is minimising MH problems, OP.

Attitudes like yours are the reason people desperate for support do not reach out for help.

Stop it.

I’m sick of it being used an excuses for monsters committing the worst crimes

I get what you’re saying and people do over use terms like PTSD and self diagnose themselves with things. For example someone suggested I had PTSD after I said I couldn’t think back to the 14 days I spent in ICU in agony after a major surgery as it was a terrible experience and going into the hospital can trigger me to feel anxious etc. To me that’s just a bad memory. I don’t wake at night sweating and it doesn’t impact my daily life.

To be fair it’s pretty nigh on impossible to get any kind of diagnosis these days unless you are at the very severe end of the spectrum. These things come in degrees. Issues from my childhood which may not appear severe from the outside have profoundly affected my life and self esteem something I now realise and am working though. You would see me as a perfectly functional person from the outside. So by your judgement I would not be considered ‘worthy’ and should just suck it up and get on with it. Why should people wait until their problems become really severe by your standards.

A diagnosis attracts resources, including treatment and accommodation. That's why people are encouraged to pathologise everything.

So for example, if I tell my employer I need a week off because I'm tired and sad, that's not going to go down well. However if I self-certify myself with "depression" or better yet get an actual diagnosis, then my employer must accommodate.

Given the waiting times to see a psychiatrist (at least where I live), I expect there are bloody loads of people with significant MH issues who haven't seen an MH professional.

That doesn't mean they don't have a pretty good idea of what's wrong with them.

I don't appreciate ADHD being swung around as a mental health problem by OP.
It's a condition which can bring about mental health problems but isn't one on its own.

Don't worry I'll stop being ADHD/ Autistic/ having PTSD and anxiety due to a dreadful childhood (including all kinds of abuse) as its now too mainstream and it irritates the OP. I haven't been in the forces so can't possibly have PTSD can I.

So agree - everyone and his dog have MH problems. You can't even read about someone parking their car without them saying they have MH. How did people ever manage to live through WW2?!

Apologies to OP, I've seen that they've explain themselves, my fault for not RTFT.

In this case I do agree OP.
My mother says she has OCD.. definitely does not in any stretch of the imagination. I do and have been diagnosed with it- it's only mild but has the potential to become an issue if I'm stressed. But she'll say things like "oh I don't like that being there, it's my OCD".
I had a nervous breakdown in Oct- Dec 2021 nobody knew about it. It took till Feb 2022 to speak to a psychiatrist-which is really quite quick considering some of the wait times in the UK. I didn't write about it on Facebook or tell anyone. My head wasn't in the right space to even look at my phone never mind try and hold a conversation. I couldn't even hold a conversation for longer than a couple of minutes with my kids before I was too exhausted.

People are starting to use illnesses or neuro diversity as a badge of honour and it does get on my nerves when they've suddenly decided it's cool but have had none of the actual shit that goes with it.

TW; suicide.

And I'll also say something else which is probably controversial.

I have known people to take their own lives, they do it on the quiet, they don't make a massive song and dance about it before hand. The people that do (on social media) are desperately seeking attention and wanting reassurance.
I have been suicidal and I was keeping that shit to myself in case I wanted to go through with it because I didn't want to be stopped.

OP, your ignorance is showing. MH is a spectrum, like physical health - it runs the gamut from mild to extremely severe. We’re all on that spectrum too - we all have mental health in the exact same way we all physical health. Attitudes like yours are damaging, not least to your self.

Nearly every person in my family has a serious mental illness. I am describing the issues as 'serious' because they are long term clinically diagnosed and have impacted on the individuals' lives to the extent where the individual cannot function fully in society in terms of employment, enjoying relationships or even keeping themselves safe and clean.

My eldest son, who has a psychotic illness, is in sheltered accommodation, and doing very well with daily support and medication. My youngest son (also a young adult) has a profound eating disorder and a cluster of anxiety disorders. I work from home so that I can support him. My husband (with whom I do not live) also has serious anxiety disorders that have led to chronic hypertension (contributing to a mini-stroke and hospitalisation before Christmas). My mother and mother in law, have dementia (both in the earlier stages). I also had a serious eating disorder in my youth, for which I was hospitalised many times.

So, I can fully understand how, when mental illness has impacted our own lives, directly and indirectly, for so long, we can become 'tired' of it.

Mental illness is relentless and unpredictable. In my family, there is probably a predisposition towards mental illness, however, I also think the disconnected nature of society, the social and environmental pressures and the vast changes we are experiencing on a personal, national and global scale may all contribute to the apparent escalation in mental health issues.

I can see what you are saying but I also think that poorer mental health recently is likely connected to the environment (covid, background threat from war in Ukraine, cost of living etc). There are loads of people, myself included, who’ve found these things have added a significant amount of stress/anxiety to already busy lives. I don’t think I would classify myself as mentally ill but I would definitely say I’ve seen impacts on my wellbeing at times - struggling to sleep, feeling sick/sometimes throwing up due to churning anxious feelings, shorter temper/agitation/less patience, inability to focus. It can feel like people think if you have these kinds of issues you are just failing to cope well and you should do better. If classifying yourself as having anxiety makes people more understanding/constructive than as being anxious I can see why people say it. Even though it’s temporary and resolvable if you can manage to change your situation &/or find time to fit in things to help with regulation just being very stressed/anxious can be pretty debilitating. It likely feels worse if you’ve previously always felt mentally well as you struggle to understand why you are coping less well now than you did before, are aware others are in much worse situations etc

You are looking at MH in a very black and white way which is why you are struggling to understand it OP. It is a spectrum. people who function normally and have no diagnosis may have occasionally hear voices or felt elated for no reason and made a bad decision on it. If you have any other illness you have differing stages of presentation or severities of illness. Same with MH. Some people may have a severe illness they manage quite well.

I get why you are saying about influencers and celebrities using it for attention and some people using it for another excuse, but we don't really know what there inner world is like, so we just have to give them the benefit of the doubt. I think it is just a sign of the times, poor economic prosperity, younger generations poorer than their parents, huge social pressures and pointless culture wars. This isn't going to create a nation of happy people.

People are starting to use illnesses or neuro diversity as a badge of honour and it does get on my nerves when they've suddenly decided it's cool but have had none of the actual shit that goes with it.

But you’ve actually no idea what ‘shit’ they’ve been through if they, like you, didn’t share it with anyone.

Plenty of people with mental health problems struggle in silence. Getting a diagnosis can bring understanding and support, and help people feel their problems are real/valid.