What does a single working mother do, literally?

[hekissedmybottom]

So I've recently become a single mum to a 7 year old. Currently self-employed on Universal Credit in the really fortunate position of having full top ups until next year, so just before summer holidays. I am so very, very fortunate.

So I can keep my head above water and I can even take time out of work (I do work a lot) to think about next summer.

I need employment because I won't be able to do my self-employed work as no summer childcare.

I've had a wake up call this half-term, trying to work full-time as I was with a child who needs my attention and no help.

So I'm hoping for some input on how to do things. I was thinking of applying for a civil service job which would take me completely off benefits and I wonder if this is something that would help regarding summer holidays? I've heard 'it's flexible' but need to know what that means really.

Can I do my hours at night or very early or do I need to operate core hours in the summer holidays?

Or would I be taking leave?

What do you do in the summer holidays? Working to pay for childcare isn't really an option as I have bills and no savings.

Ideas we really welcome. Thanks.

Also, colleges and universities...

I work 37 hours per week term time only at a school. Works for me

I only manage with the help of my parents, who pick the kids up, give them tea, ferry them to various clubs etc three times a week.
One day I finish early and I have one day off.
I couldn't do it without them.

My school doesn't do one. Can you send them to one that's in a different school?

Someone else has mentioned the turn2us calculator but there are several online you could try.

I'd recommend plugging your current situation into a couple of them - www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

And see what they say. You can then follow up by doing it with your proposed £27k job that you're looking at.

That will hopefully help you judge if it's feasible from a financial point of view (assuming full time childcare and potentially wrap around care if you're working full time) and make sure you've got all the support you're entitled to.

Ok so you are an actual single parent like me if the ex partner isn't around.

It's really hard, I work full time but thankfully in a hybrid model where I can work at home frequently.

It's a lot easier now DD13 can amuse herself but before that I would be putting her in holiday classes, tennis day camps etc basically anything that I could work around.

The key thing is about what you do for work and whether that gives you the flexibility you need.

I work in tech, for a software company. They are ahead of the game in terms of work flexibility. If I had to be in an office everyday I think it would be impossible. Especially in the holidays.

Flexibility in job is the key thing.

I'm really pleased for you.

Most holiday clubs here are run by private companies who just happen to use school sites for convenience.

Your local council might have information about the Holidays and Food scheme which is open to children who qualify for free school meals, that is likely to list several holiday clubs which will be available to all children, not just those receiving HAF support.

Op in my area the holiday clubs aren’t run by the schools but by companies who use the premises so you can put your child in any one whether it’s their school or not.

You can still get childcare costs UC if you work. My partner and I both work and we are entitled to help with childcare costs. We don’t get any other UC payments or any other sort of benefit though, literally just help with childcare.

Can you send them to one that's in a different school?

Yes, many holiday clubs are open to anyone. DS is going to two different school camps this week (neither run by his school) as they have different themes.

If you ask on your class WhatsApp group any working parent will give you chapter and verse on the local offerings. Your only problem is if you live in an area with few schools or few working parents.

Yes, and newly and expectedly so with crap parents.

So this is why I'm asking, I've been working non-stop since my husband left without a moment to think and also dealing with a court case where I've had to do all the stuff myself so literally when I say no spare time I mean no spare time.

I've just been whacked in the face by reality this half term with a child badgering me to do things but sorry I have work 8-8 every single day.

This hybrid model is what I was informed civil service is. I was going to apply for asylum decision maker I thought it would be just that and as long as cases were done I could work at night.

That's out the picture I thankfully get paid £20/hour for one gig and can do that all day while she's at school and just rely on UC but I wanted to come off it completely but looks like I needn't bother.

Civil service can be flexible but it depends on the job/department e.g. I have colleagues that work in the evening so they can be present at school picks ups/bedtime. Best thing would be to speak to the recruitment contact directly and see if it could work.

Hi OP. I work 30 hours over 4 days. DD's dad lives abroad and I have no family able to help. So it's not easy but I manage the summer holidays by:

using holiday clubs (typically around £25 8am-6pm but might be more depending on where you live)

Using annual leave

Building up TOIL/flexi during term time to give me a few more hours/days off in the holidays

So far I've been able to cover them this way, buy in the event of a shortfall I'd apply for parental leave (unpaid)

I work in the civil service and whilst there is more flexibility than some employers you are still expected to work core hours and not to be looking after children if working from home

I've been a full-time working single mum for the last 12 years.

While at primary school, I dropped ds at school at 8.40, started work at 9. Ds went to after school club and I collected him at 5.50. He loved it, as an only child, he got to chase around in his little tribe letting off steam.

Holidays were a combination of my annual leave (5 weeks) and council holiday club. We tried super camps but they were expensive and ds didn't enjoy them, too regimented and sports-focussed.

The trick was booking everything early. I usually had Easter booked by the end of Jan and the summer booked in April. Thankfully ds was a healthy child because unscheduled sick days are the hardest thing to manage.

Whatever you choose to do, a supportive boss is useful. Good luck.

As others have said, holiday clubs are often run by independent companies that use school sites so if you don't have one at your school you can use others.
By the way, I earn more than 27k and still get UC for childcare, just not the full amount. The entitled.to calculator is really helpful and quite easy to complete. It'll give you a good idea how much help you could get.
I have no experience of the civil service, I work in tech and find that most tech companies are very flexible. I work ft from home and can mostly for work around the kids if needed, like appointments, school plays etc. Although I do realise that I'm extremely lucky with my job.

but I wanted to come off it completely but looks like I needn't bother

While your DD is little, just do what works best and don't worry about rushing off UC unless it leaves you significantly better off without driving yourself into the ground.

I’m a single mum working in the civil service. Whilst the civil service is flexible, how flexible depends on the dept and your job role.
When my son was younger I worked 22 hours over four short days, moved to three long ( ie 9-5) days when he went to secondary, and then up to 30 hours over 4 days.
You may be able to get a term time only contract, do compressed hours or nine 9 fortnights. For a few years my hours went into defecit over the summer so I could collect him from holiday clubs and I made the time up in September/October - this suited my team because August was relatively quiet and the Autumn very busy.
I had no regular help from family as they all live too far away, until my son was old enough to stay over with the grandparents for a few days. One half term they would come to us for a few days to help out.
You learn how to make best use of Bank Holidays when planning annual leave, you may be able to squeeze an extra day or two from flex time. You can also take up to 4 weeks a year unpaid parental leave.
It is a juggling act though - using some holiday club provision is unavoidable if you have no family help.

@hekissedmybottom I do totally understand. I have no one to step in and help either.

Definitely consider shifting careers because I have found the tech industry gives me the most flexibility but I understand many other industries have also shifted to hybrid working. 8-8 as you are doing sounds just bloody impossible! You must feel really stressed.

Civil service can be really flexible but it’s going to be difficult for any job to be as flexible as self-employment. Term time only is a thing there but wanting to combine that with night shifts and/or no adherence to core hours… that could be a difficult sell unless you’re in a team where no collaboration is required.

I'm self-employed (although not single) and I find the holidays much easier to juggle since working for myself. This half-term I'm taking one working day off, the rest of the time the kids are in childcare, where I manage to work a longer day. Over the summer, I take two weeks off but ensure it crosses months so that I can manage my retainers (so last year, one week of Aug and one of Sep) and then work like hell around it. I am also conscious about giving realistic lead times. I can't think of many jobs that give you school holidays off if you don't work at a school.

You can request a term time only contract in the civil service. Obviously salary is reduced pro rata accordingly. But in 10yrs, I've only ever known 1 person do it and they weren't new to the CS - it was a longstanding member of staff who wanted to drop their hours. Most CS parents i know just use up their annual leave, then parental leave, then unpaid leave to manage school holidays. I think term time jobs wont be advertised as such so maybe look for jobs offered as full or part time and then email the hiring point of contact to ask if they will consider a term time only contract?

I think (although someone else might correct me) that if your child's father is in prison, you might need to declare this as part of the vetting process? But im not sure on this so worth looking into before spending time on an application. Not to say it would stop your employment as it would depend on the specific clearance needed for the role and the facts of prison sentence.

My neighbour is a single Mum. She works in the NHS as a specialist "on the ward" nurse.

While her children were in primary she was able to negotiate a Mon-Fri 8 - 5 contract.

She used a childminder who dropped off and collected from school and also did full days of childcare during the holiday.

We helped out whenever we could.

When her children reached secondary she had to go back to shifts, night shifts and weekend work.

So for her the main choice was a childminder, then family, friends and that only worked because she was able to get that working agreement for the 10 years (2 DC) of primary.

She was in no contact with her ex - no maintenance and no support.

I am a lone parent. I used holiday clubs. There was one at school and one at the local leisure centre where I am. Universal Credit pays 85% of the cost. DC is 15 now so he is left home on his own some days, can't be helped.

That's an understatement and thank you for acknowledging it. It's among other things and I've been close to breaking point, actually I've been at , actually I am still here.