How did you manage the social stigma of not drinking

[JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome]

I’m early days into AF and so far have had excuses of dry January and some minor health issues. At some point I need to tackle this head on rather than coming up with a new reason every time which is exhausting.

I know that some friends won’t like it and don’t know how to deal with it. My reason is health, I am worried about dementia (in my family) and I know alcohol is contributing factor.

My sil doesn’t like alcohol. Out clubbing as youngsters people were intrigued but no one was bothered. Now she’s older people just accept it. No one cares.
Didn’t even know there was a social stigma around drinking

• not drinking

I don't think there's a social stigma about it.

My BIL almost never drinks, he's just not bothered about it and gets really bad hangovers when he does. No-one seems to think anything of it.

I have a friend who doesn't drink either. When anyone asks her, she just says "I'm a recovering alcoholic" and is happy to explain that she's been sober for 29 years. Most people are impressed by the fact that she's managed to beat her addiction.

I don't drink and haven't for about seven to eight years. It's never a problem; I just order a soft drink.

That said, I'm at a place in life where pub culture isn't really a thing anymore. I do going out for coffees or lunch, or sports and community activities.

This.

I gave up 5 years ago and a lot of my friends are big drinkers. I thought I would be judged a bit, but I'm not. A surprising amount of people say they wish they could do it.

I still go on nights out, I still enjoy myself. 8 of us went out on sat night for a catch up and a meal /drinks and three of us weren't drinking. They get used to it really quickly and they really don't notice when they're drinking away. I feel much better for it, I don't miss it at all.

My friend stopped drinking, she just came out with the truth basically, why she was doing it etc and nothing was ever said other than good for you.
She still enjoys a night out

I just don't drink. I very very very very occasionally do but maybe 3 times a year and 1/2 units.

Honestly I've never encountered social stigma.

There is no social stigma for me . I just say I don't drink . People presume it's because I was an alcoholic which isn't true . I gave up because I don't want to get Dementia . All the women on my side get it and it terrifies me . Vascular is lifestyle induced and I want to avoid at all costs if possible !

I don't think there is a general social stigma about it. I appreciate you may have some friends who might be awkward about it, but really what's weird in that situation is their not accepting that a person is choosing a soft drink, not you choosing not to drink alcohol. You're not doing anything unusual in the wider scheme of things.

And good luck!

Just have that line ready to go and state
it plainly: “I’m worried about dementia (in my family) and I know alcohol is a contributing factor”.

They are rude to ask and they won’t ask again.

I encountered a lot of pushback when I stopped drinking but I just said I didn't want to drink any more.

Don't give long explanations, just state your case and leave them to think what they like.

I’ve been very suprised to read others (even one’s who don’t drink themselves) say the is no stigma!

To me there is still a huge pressure to drink and lots of questions and faces made.

Personally never been a drinker and years/decades and met pleanty of stigma.

Never been a problem for me. Basically I do not like the taste of most alcoholic drinks and a lot of them gave me indigestion as well.

Have the occasional drink - say 6 times a year?

I also appreciate all the money I save as well - nice holidays instead!

I decided not to drink alcohol as a child. I was very young so had to put up with this as a child, as a teen, as a young adult and as someone now in my 50s.

Initially I would never let on that I never drank and just said no thanks. Once I was in my mid twenties I was far more comfortable to say I am teetotal. In work settings though I just order a soft drink and mostly don't get comments, but never say I don't ever drink alcohol. However, many of colleagues know.

It also took ages for a new boss to figure out out. I used to get given a bottle of something alcoholic every Christmas. I always just said thanks, but later on I was asked about a gift for a colleague who is also teetotal so I said she wouldn't want a bottle of something alcoholic. He looked surprised so I also reeled off a number of other colleagues who are also teetotal without mentioning me. I think he then figured out it or asked someone. He had no idea and had been buying them the same thing. I used to give mine away to the nearest colleague who did drink.

What social stigma?

I don't drink beyond maybe the odd small glass on birthdays/ at Christmas.

Never been an issue.

If your friends don't respect that you need new friends...

I haven't really drank alcohol for years, for health and mental health reasons. And to be fair I've never really liked the stuff, or the effects. I'm quite capable of socialising without alcohol.

I do one of two things. At the bar I get a tonic water, sparkling water or lemonade with a slice of lemon and pretend it's a g&t. Nobody knows the difference.

Or, if forced to reveal what im drinking, I just say I'm getting a soft drink. I rarely have anyone peer pressuring me anymore but if I do I just smile and don't respond to the comments.

People who say 'what social stigma' are being unhelpful. There is considerable pressure on some people to continue drinking in the way they always have, especially if their family/friendship group drinks a lot. Many workplaces/sports teams/other groups have an expressly pro-drinking culture.

I think denying this is unhelpful.

I know loads of people who don't drink or only have one occasionally. Nobody cares and there is no social stigma.

I don't think there is a stigma among most groups, certainly not mine. So if your friends ARE like that they probably aren't the best friends!

Actually no you've said that I see your point. My workplace is always like "join us for evening drinks - procecco and canapés" and there's never any decent soft drinks.

It's not unhelpful at all. I suspect what we all have in common is a "don't give a shit" attitude. "Because I don't want to" is reason enough, if they keep pressing walk away or say you're driving. If you normalise yourself as a non drinker people soon stop asking why you're not drinking.

"I'm off the sauce. Gives me savage gas."

Interestingly I was recently out with a friend who no longer drinks. I totally respect their decision but it is not for me. They spent a certain percentage of the time attacking my decision to still drink so it can go both ways.

Agree with those who say there's no social stigma. Don't make (up) excuses. If anyone gives you a hard time or mocks you, that's their insecurities speaking and not your problem.

It's totally normal not to drink these days. If you really want people not to bug you then tell them you are recovering alcoholic. Or just tell,them you've gone off drink.