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Original poster

Offended I won't dogsit

68 replies

Dogsitterwoes · 13/02/2023 06:50

A not-close friend found out I do petsitting through a website that matches up pet owners and sitters, free of charge, and boy her eyes lit up. She asked if I could dog sit for her. I said no and explained I only did it now and then through that site as then I'm insured, and I do it as a way to have a little free break somewhere interesting.
I pick ones with fairly straightforward animals I can leave for a few hours a day. The owners are happy with this, and I take very good care of their pets.
She seems to be a bit offended I don't want to stay at her house 5 miles away from home looking after 3 high-need rescue dogs that are never left alone. There is literally nothing in it for me, it would be doing her a massive favour, and I don't know her well enough for that.
I can't decide if she genuinely can't grasp there's a difference, or is just hoping to push me into it. She brings it up every time I see her. If I say but I won't be insured, she says she doesn't mind. If I say but it's where I live, she says I'd be working during the day anyway (wfh) and I can do that at hers.
Would I be the A to stop giving her logical reasons and outright tell her her dogs sound like bloody hard work and she needs to pay someone, as no ones going to volunteer? I think she can't grasp that it's not a big honour/joy to spend time with her 'babies'.

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 13/02/2023 06:56

Of course her eyes lit up, my friend dies dog sitting, she charges £35 per day per dog. Give her the name of the website, but make it clear you only dog sit 1 dog that can be left alone. I very much doubt many experienced dog sitters would consider looking after 3 dogs.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 13/02/2023 06:56

She's expecting you to do it for free? I wouldn't even reply, I'd just ignore her. What a cf!

Strugglingtodomybest · 13/02/2023 06:58

Just be straight with her, tell her that you don't want to do it and your reasons why.

Clymene · 13/02/2023 06:58

Just laugh at her. For all the reasons you've listed here - you do it to go somewhere interesting with easy pets. And she doesn't qualify. As if! Hahaha. End of conversation

ChaToilLeam · 13/02/2023 07:00

I’d just tell her what you have put in your post. Looking after 3 high maintenance dogs (for free, WHAT?) is not your idea of fun and you are not interested, so she needs to leave it.

IWineAndDontDine · 13/02/2023 07:02

I'd do it for a good friend, of course. But you said you don't know her well enough so I wouldn't feel bad... although I guess having people in your circle you can call on for favours every now and then is very useful. If you aren't fussed about that, tell her the truth!

TulipCat · 13/02/2023 07:03

Just say as you have here, "Sorry, I only occasionally dog sit, and only for individual dogs".

Orangetapemeasure · 13/02/2023 07:04

Just tell her you don’t like mixing business and pleasure, and your friendship could go horribly wrong if something happened to one of her pets especially if you weren’t insured. Add ‘no amount of persuading is going to make me change my mind, so please stop asking’.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 13/02/2023 07:06

Just say you don't do it for friends - you will only do it through the site and only for households with one pet.
It's not up for debate - those are your conditions & then don't engage in the conversation any more.

VestaTilley · 13/02/2023 07:22

If she wants you to do it for free you’re definitely not being unreasonable!!

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/02/2023 07:24

YANBU
Do you have to keep seeing her?

TheFretfulPorpentine · 13/02/2023 07:28

I would tell her that nobody is going to take on three maladjusted dogs without being paid a LOT of money.

Hoardasurass · 13/02/2023 07:32

She's not a close friend so tell her the truth her dogs are to needy and she is being a massive CF and not bring it up again. You will need to be blunt with her and may even have to tell her to fuck off its common with cfuckers

Skodacool · 13/02/2023 07:34

Would I be the A to stop giving her logical reasons
Yes; every time you give her a reason she will find a ‘solution’. Tell her she’s being unrealistic.

Skodacool · 13/02/2023 07:35

Don’t know what happened to my copy and paste there 🤔

BoxOfCats · 13/02/2023 07:44

Just keep saying, "sorry that just doesn't work for me" on repeat. If you keep giving her logical reasons then she'll just keep coming back with suggestions.

milkyaqua · 13/02/2023 07:44

Would I be the A to stop giving her logical reasons and outright tell her her dogs sound like bloody hard work and she needs to pay someone, as no ones going to volunteer?

That is in fact the most logical reason. Why not say it?

TidyDancer · 13/02/2023 07:45

I would try saying something like 'I'm sorry but I've said no, this subject is now closed' and refuse to engage further with it. If she brings it up again simply change the subject. If it continues, I would consider disengaging the friendship. Someone who would try to push you into something you're not comfortable with is not really a friend imo.

StClare101 · 13/02/2023 07:46

Stop giving reasons.

Say I’ve told you no before. I’m out changing my mind.

LoveMAFS · 13/02/2023 07:47

Tell her the truth, she needs to hear it,

ChatSamosa · 13/02/2023 07:47

I know the site you are talking about, I have used it for my pets and it's been brilliant for me and also for the sitter. Nobody joins that site as a sitter and does it to look after animals up the road.

Your friend gave up the right for a break away when she rescued needy dogs.

Weallgottachangesometime · 13/02/2023 07:50

StClare101 · 13/02/2023 07:46

Stop giving reasons.

Say I’ve told you no before. I’m out changing my mind.

This. If you have already told her why you let sit through the website and had multiple conversations I think you need to stop giving reasons and be blunter.

”We’ve spoken about this and I’ve told you I only dog sit through the website, I’m not going to change my mind”

JudgeRudy · 13/02/2023 07:51

Sounds like your friend is ignorant, so either stupid, or feels you don't matter. Neither possibilities are conducive to an intelligent conversation so I'd save my breath with explanations but ask her if she would like to book your pet sitting services and state your fee. If you're up for sarcasm let her know that Specsavers now do hearing tests.

LookItsMeAgain · 13/02/2023 08:26

As you've already said no to her, could you now say "Look I can't dog sit for you as I've got another booking for that time and it's for a single dog that is an easy pet to look after, so I'm not available".

You've already said you can't and you won't so telling her a little lie (which might actually turn out to be true if someone else books your time) might be the way to get her off your back.

Mariposista · 13/02/2023 08:37

She is being ridiculous and cheeky.
I have a dog and would never assume someone would care for him for free. Our neighbour once had him and wouldn’t accept any money (his sons just loved playing with him and he is very low maintenance really) and we bought them a gift card.

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