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Original poster

Offended I won't dogsit

68 replies

Dogsitterwoes · 13/02/2023 06:50

A not-close friend found out I do petsitting through a website that matches up pet owners and sitters, free of charge, and boy her eyes lit up. She asked if I could dog sit for her. I said no and explained I only did it now and then through that site as then I'm insured, and I do it as a way to have a little free break somewhere interesting.
I pick ones with fairly straightforward animals I can leave for a few hours a day. The owners are happy with this, and I take very good care of their pets.
She seems to be a bit offended I don't want to stay at her house 5 miles away from home looking after 3 high-need rescue dogs that are never left alone. There is literally nothing in it for me, it would be doing her a massive favour, and I don't know her well enough for that.
I can't decide if she genuinely can't grasp there's a difference, or is just hoping to push me into it. She brings it up every time I see her. If I say but I won't be insured, she says she doesn't mind. If I say but it's where I live, she says I'd be working during the day anyway (wfh) and I can do that at hers.
Would I be the A to stop giving her logical reasons and outright tell her her dogs sound like bloody hard work and she needs to pay someone, as no ones going to volunteer? I think she can't grasp that it's not a big honour/joy to spend time with her 'babies'.

OP posts:
Porkyporkchop · 13/02/2023 18:32

Once you start this she will become insane. I think be clear and precise that it is a firm No! And it always will be.

LikeTearsInRain · 13/02/2023 18:41

“No thank you” repeat adnauseam.

StickofVeg · 13/02/2023 19:01

I bet her eyes lit up! I think you need to distance yourself and bin her off. 3 high-maintenance dogs seem a full-on nightmare. We also look after a couple of dogs via a website for free, just for pleasure. We love doing it and really enjoy the occasional break with them, but certainly wouldn't do it for anyone or any dog. She'a CF, ignore her or be very blunt.

CorvusPurpureus · 13/02/2023 19:10

I used to do petsitting a few years ago.

I teach abroad, & used to have to bring the dc to the UK during holidays to spend time with their df.

So I'd take on a petsit to visit somewhere interesting for free whilst I was at it, in between seeing family & friends.

I don't do it any more as dc are now independent travellers, so I don't need to align my UK trips precisely with theirs, & quite honestly, I'd end up fitting the visits to family & friends around the petsitting. It stopped being worth the bother.

But it was a great option at the time - I know loads of younger international teachers who do it to sofa surf all over the place.

You need to make it abundantly clear you just do it for the perks - free accommodation somewhere you want to explore anyway. That's it. It isn't because you looooovvve random people's random pets, it's effectively a free AirBnB in exchange for feeding Tiddles or Bugs or Nemo.

Then send her a link to the agency. If it's such a great gig she will be inundated with people from all over the country wanting to petsit, right?

Or - save some time & just tell her NO & THIS CONVERSATION IS NOW CLOSED...

LovelyDayz · 13/02/2023 19:31

"I've already said no to this, why are you asking me again?" and a very direct, serious stare would put her on the spot a bit and maybe get her to drop it.

MrsMikeDrop · 13/02/2023 19:36

Strugglingtodomybest · 13/02/2023 06:58

Just be straight with her, tell her that you don't want to do it and your reasons why.

This. You've been subtle and it didn't work. She sounds like a bit of a CF, don't do it!

Suzi888 · 13/02/2023 19:39

Point her in the direction of the website. You may not be interested, someone else might be.

echt · 13/02/2023 19:53

I especially like the way she's not bothered by the OP's not being insured if she does it outside the website. I'm not in the UK, so am guessing that under UK law what a dog does is the responsibility the person (adult) who is on the other end of the lead at the time. It's certainly the case where I am, so dog sitting is no small undertaking.

I have an arrangement where my dog goes to a particular friend's house if I have to be away overnight and I reciprocate. I'm the only person they do this for and we have mutual confidence in the care our dogs will get. When I mentioned this to a neighbour, they had the lit up eyes too, wanting to know if my friend would take on their lovely, very high maintenance and terribly anxious dog. I did not pass on the message; they can ask themselves should they encounter the friend at the dog park.

TheCave · 13/02/2023 19:56

If I understand correctly when you do it, you stay somewhere else in the dog owner's home, and basically have yourself a free holiday in exchange for dealing with the pets? In that case arguably you don't do it for free, you do it in exchange for a break somewhere where you want to visit. If you wanted to go to that same place without pet sitting then presumably you'd need to pay for a hotel / b&b which would cost a fair whack. Whereas your friend isn't offering you the swap you can get via the site (even leaving aside the issue with number / type of pets she has), so no deal.

DrHousecuredme · 13/02/2023 20:04

Explain why one more time then finish with "look this is getting awkward now, can you please stop bringing it up"
Direct but not offensive.
If she continues to bring it up after that then I might be too busy to meet for a little while.

Hollybobs1 · 14/02/2023 19:18

You don't need to give her any reasons.

No means no.

NumberTheory · 14/02/2023 20:56

You definitely need to stop with the reasons intended to give her a way to back down and not feel offended. She just thinks if she badgers you enough she should be able to wear you down and get you to do it for her anyway.

So be blunter. And be audibly annoyed that she’s asking you again. Tell her her dogs sound like nightmares (or, at least, harder work than you’d ever take on). Or just say “I really don’t want to.” But stop feeling like you need to respond to her as though she is being reasonable. She isn’t and you don’t have to pretend that she is.

Discofish · 14/02/2023 21:00

If you want to be polite "thank you for the offer but its not for me". If she keeps pushing you might have to get blunt. She is behaving quite badly if she keeps bringing it up

larchforest · 14/02/2023 21:29

Dogsitterwoes · 13/02/2023 09:20

You are right, I need to stop giving her reasons she can counter.
She understands, she just wants me to do it. She tried guilt tripping me last time about why it would be too traumatic for them in kennels. Which is probably true, but not my problem, so I didn't feel guilty.
I'm just going to say no, that doesn't work for me, in future.
Thank you

She wants to go on holiday

It is too traumatic for them to be left in kennels, yet she still wants to go on holiday anyway...

postitpatty · 14/02/2023 21:53

On a complete side tangent... what website is this please?! Looking for a dog sitter for a few days later in the year!

Bagwyllydiart · 15/02/2023 08:15

"Yes I will dogsit for you. For you the charge is £1000 per day, payable in advance"

Strugglingtodomybest · 15/02/2023 17:16

postitpatty · 14/02/2023 21:53

On a complete side tangent... what website is this please?! Looking for a dog sitter for a few days later in the year!

trustedhousesitters.com

Original poster
Dogsitterwoes · 22/02/2023 10:29

It is Trusted Housesitters. If anyone wants a 25% off discount code, use this link. I will get 2 months free membership as its refer a friend www.trustedhousesitters.com/refer/RAF622172/?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=refer-a-friend&utm_campaign=refer-a-friend

OP posts:
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