Kid won’t eat

[toddlercoaster]

DD1 is 4yr old. She has always been a picky eater. She hates fruit, the only fruit she has is banana. She’s a bit better with vegetables though she hates a few veggies like beans and sweet potatoes! Rest she has a good diet (loves eggs, milk, fish, chicken) but it all depends on me and my DH who has to give up atleast an hour to spend by her side and keep singing “eat eat eat eat”. She’s in 25th percentile for weight and 50th for height. Few days ago I came across an article on ARFID. I’m now sick with worry of what if this picky eating continues? AIBU as I cannot take of ARFID off my mind and am becoming obsessed with her diet (trying to sneak in fruit in her diet somehow). She’s down with cough and cold at the moment and is off food. How do i make her eat fruit? She loves fruit juice though, the one i get from Tesco. I’m sick with worry and DH says I’m overreacting and that kids do overcome picky eating with time. Advice plzzz

Turn the TV off

I really don’t think she even sounds fussy, she just doesn’t like fruit?
My youngest eats spaghetti, plain pasta and olives. Very occasionally a yoghurt. That’s her whole diet, I always put something not “safe” on her plate and she never tries it, but I never make it an issue and just let her tell me when she’s finished.

Kindly, you need to see a gp your anxiety around eating is absolutely not normal. You need to seek help, what you are doing is not healthy for any of you.

@FusionChefGeoff Completely agree. She's 4 and doing well with her eating by the sounds of it op. Goid variety of foods.
You sound like you have some issue with food. Also you and dh singing to her to eat! What's that about? You provide the food, she chooses what to eat or not. If she misses a meal or 2 no big deal. Also check portion sizes for her age. Don't pressure her to eat or you will set her up to have issues.is this something from your childhood?

She tries new foods(with fruits) doesn’t choke on them but just gulps them down hurriedly and says “it’s yummy and I’m done! mommy you can have the rest of it”

This is pure behaviour (I work in the field). It's a problem you've created unfortunately.

Rule 1 of kids eating is eat at the table, make it fun and enjoyable conversation / family time and don't ever mention what they are or are not eating. Take it away when the meal is over and say no more.

Not from my childhood but the thing is I was frail as a kid and always anemic! I don’t want her to be like me. She’s born after much fertility treatment and maybe indirectly I’m obsessed with her well-being as she’s a million dollar baby(5yrs of patience and injections). Maybe overdose of motherly love!🤣

@WatchingGreysAgain Does she have ARFID?

She doesn't sound like a picky eater at all

@toddlercoaster why do you think she has ARFID? It doesn’t sound like she has any signs of it from what you’ve written. She eats a good variety, she doesn’t need fruit if she’s having vegetables and also fruit juice. Just have fruit available, picky eating in 4 year olds is so common (although I don’t think she sounds overly picky) and the majority outgrow it at some point. The ultimate aim of eating is fuel and it doesn’t sound like she has any symptoms of malnutrition. Do you give her vitamin supplements?

I don’t know, I’m very relaxed about it, if it carries on I’ll take her to the doctors when she starts school.

Yeah she has wellkid liquid

It’s imported for you to control yourself OP and step back a little. The protein your DD is eating is very important, you said she eats vegetables and limited fruit and fruit juice. This sounds fine, and it’s very likely your child will broaden out what she eats as she gets older. Stop battling with her. Think of something else during meal times. Have other fruit sometimes and let her try it if she wants but don’t stress at all. Children often enjoy chopped up grapes as they are naturally very sweet.

Right I don't know how you've got into this situation but it needs to stop. It's totally unhealthy. Please read Sarah ockwell smiths book on gentle eating. And in the mean time just give you daughter her food and leave her to it. If she eats say nothing, if she doesn't, say nothing. You're making food into a huge issue. And no TV! Mealtimes need to be about eating

it all depends on me and my DH who has to give up atleast an hour to spend by her side and keep singing “eat eat eat eat”.

I would say that you two have made meal times the issue that they are.

You are going to make her really anxious. She is seeing your anxiety and that's a much bigger problem than what she eats.

She is moderating her intake but she's growing within normal limits. Eat as a family, model healthy eating and remove ALL pressure.

so following all the advice here today’s lunch was something like this — I made mushroom fried rice (she’s new to mushrooms as we get them rarely) I put food into her plate and left it. We had our own food she slowly came closer sat down and said she wants to eat. No begging no pleading she sat and started eating, pushes all mushrooms aside I didn’t care. She asked me what it was I told her try it she did eat 2-3 and rest ate the rice and left a bit if food ans said she’s done and asked for fruit pouches the baby was having. I gave her the fruit pouch and didn’t coax her to finish her plate she was surprised! No crying no anxiety! Hope I control myself like this for the good of both of us!

Thank you one and all for the advice

Ah , congrats op! Well played.

Well done op , do the same every mealtime.

This sounds really great OP

I have a child with ARFID...only eats Quavers...everything else via a feeding tube.

I also had a picky eater who overtime has actually tried more and more. Aged 5 old only eat soft cheese and ham sandwiches and chips and chocolate. Now 15 and will try more...

. he likes loads but is more eager to try. Can't say he eats loads of variety but teenage hunger took over.

ARFID kid... only eats Quavers aged 13

Keep it up 👌

Well done OP 👏🏻

Keep up this attitude around food and you'll both be absolutely fine

TOTALLY sympathise with the picky eating. It can drive a parent up the wall with frustration. Every part of your being just wants your child to eat! It is in our instincts. And the food waste is awful.

I've always struggled with the whole theory that if you say nothing, then they'll eat. My DD is so fussy and I've never really known how to deal with it. If I say nothing, she doesn't eat. So what DO we do?? Plenty advice out there as to what NOT to do, of course.

So no advice here but a big high five of solidarity.

Hope. Hope it will get better.

@CinderellasBoot I do think the theory of not saying anything is helping me a bit. But at the end every child is different and what works for one might not work for the other. But I have decided firmly not to fuss anymore about her food. I have had enough with the meal time frustration. She’s going a bit crazy about my change of attitude towards her eating habits🤣. Looks like she’s missing the attention.