Being mistaken for the PA

[BingBoings]

Twice this week I have been in email chains, where I have been asked to supply dates for a meeting.

The reason for this has in both cases, I assume, is that I am the only female name in the thread.

Both situations have seen large numbers of clients and colleagues copied in on emails where… I am asked if I can help give times when my male colleagues are free. I am usually senior to them.

Am I the only person this happens to? I find it half hilarious, and half embarrassing… A few months ago I was asked in a meeting if I could do coffees when I walked in…

i have no issue with managing my own diary nor is there any issue with being a PA… it’s more that I don’t see men having this issue…!

And the male partners who imagined themselves “rainmakers” at my old firm were obsessed with such “trivialities” don’t recognise that laid back model at all from the senior men!

I know you're trying to troll (not very successfully), but no, standing up to sexism is not an indication of lack of merit on the part of the woman. What this kind of incident shows is how narrow-minded sexist people are, so much so that they let their bias do their thinking for them. It's pathetic and must be pointed out every single time.

I know a few PAs that prefer working for men. The reason being that some senior women are so keen to differentiate themselves from PAs /junior staff and be hard-as-nails that they can be unpleasant to work for.

Speak for yourself.

“Rainmaker” 🤣
what a grade-A arse, and stuck in 1993 to boot

But what was your job?

I am part of a group that is mainly dominated by older males view themselves as Masters of the Universe because they are members of this group. I have been there for longer than most of them but until very recently any new member would always assume I was admin staff. It’s quite tedious.

The twat “rainmaker” at my old firm went down in flames with his main client who were Enron. It was a thing of beauty to observe.

Good!

They are cheeky buggers!

Don’t be ridiculous, the reason to be offended is the sexism. It’s men who are looking down on these roles, treating it as women’s work FFS. Someone who has worked their way up in a company is entitled to be offended at a man assuming she has a less senior role simply because she has a vagina.

I have this a lot when fathers attend admissions appeals. I'm a presenting officer and approximately 50% will ask a question and then talk over me when I answer.

I stop talking and then say, 'You've asked a question. Would you like an answer?'

In one instance I had a father say, 'Love, In my job, I am used to everyone sitting round the table and finding a solution that suits.' I told him that in my job, I process all applications in line with the School Admissions Code, and unfortunately that means that some outcomes don't suit everyone.'

In another, I had a very rude man continue to talk over me and I pulled him up on it. His appeal was dismissed. He lodged an appeal fir another of my schools and when I arrived to present our case, he said,'I'm not going up against THAT woman again!'. He forfeited his appeal and walked out!

My CEO is a lovely, respectful man. He makes the coffee and tea, always gives credit and pulls up anyone who makes assumptions.

Thanks mark, great to hear from men who think we should shut up, smile sweetly and go fetch your tea. Such wisdom. 🙄

I mean personally I find people who put out their opinion, see the majority don't agree with it and then don't check their assumptions and consider whether their minority opinion is in fact correct to be ego driven and emotionally unintelligent, but hey you do you.

It is not only men who are looking down on these tasks. Women are looking down on these tasks. That is why it is deemed to be offensive. When it comes to organising meetings, someone needs to take control, it’s pathetic to play pass the hot potato games with it. The leader of any project should take ownership of this, or specifically and clearly delegate to someone else. It is not beneath anyone to co-ordinate things properly.

As for making everyone coffee at a meeting - again, poor leadership and organisation if people do not have clear expectations and do not feel properly catered for. Enough of this weird slave mentality, where everyone looks for the lowest status person in the room to wait on them.

Why take a chaperone though?

Mark, I Think it's maybe time for you to stop bothering your pretty little head about things that you can't possibly understand. Run along now darling.

How silly.
You have just wasted everyone's time. Very "efficient" time management demonstrated by a chair of a meeting. I bet the meeting was a complete success in the end.

Oh yes been there. Had a management position and was asked to take the Minutes of a meeting because mine were so much better than the salaried admin lady we had. I was even asked to change something in the minutes which was accurate so I said no because I would not be taking them again and look elsewhere.

Also had to attend meetings with Police as an agency involved where the Chief Inspector used to try and make eye contact with me all the time and give me actions! I mean I was never part of the Police force. Just the only female at the meeting.

This misses the point though, you're correct in that really senior people often won't care/feel assured in their position.

However, thats not most people in organisations is it? The vast majority of people are fighting for position, promotions, bonuses, for positive feedback from superiors/peers. That goes for male or female, black or white, young or old.

It doesn't help if people subconsciously expect certain characteristics to automatically equal greater competence/seniority, it gives an unfair advantage to those exhibiting those characteristics and is a hurdle that has to be overcome if you don't.

However, thats not most people in organisations is it? The vast majority of people are fighting for position, promotions, bonuses, for positive feedback from superiors/peers. That goes for male or female, black or white, young or old.

I don't recognise this in my industry, thankfully. But if most people are fighting for their careers then it seems like a good technique that others (men and women) are using to make the competition look inferior. Must work too, if some are actually going off to make tea.

So what, women should just embrace these things and not challenge men because if we do, somehow that’s shitting on other women? Come off it, that’s not how job roles work, and it’s not slavery to expect the PA to do their own job rather than having it delegated to the nearest person with a vagina.

You're such a clever poppet, @Mark19735. One couple not recognising the Queen is exactly the same as hundreds of lived experiences of everyday sexism. Well done you for explaining it to our little lady heads. Girlies, we can get back to the tea making now.

I'm pointing it out every single time. 'Name, name (have to say it at least twice), I'm speaking. ' or 'I haven't finished yet'. It seems I work with especially sexist and arrogant pigs. I could see other men in the org doing it, but I think they would stop after a couple of times.

Imagine if assumptions were made on job role due to someone’s race? Is that ok mark? Because that’s essentially the same thing.

Back in the 90s, early on in my career, my then-manager said, "Could you (do something I forget what), there's a good girl"

And then he turned white
It was very funny
Even then I had a reputation for being somewhat feral (mellowed a bit with age and more money!).

In his defence he was the father of two young daughters. Since they had come along, his workplace manner had noticeably been more persuasive and collaborative, influenced by his home life - if you try and get little girls to do something by shouting at them they just cry louder, and, if you're really lucky, wet themselves.
It has just spilled over perhaps a bit too much 😎

I'm not sure my monstrous demeanor was of net benefit to me, as it wasn't perhaps the ideal image for promotion either, but OTOH I was never asked to make the coffee. Not only did I look obviously less well turned out than people on the admin side, but they probably worried I would put salt in it 😈