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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friends and family tell me I don't have a "real" job.

93 replies

PearKoala · 10/02/2023 19:28

I wfh as an ESL teacher. I have done so for around 6 years and I am self employed.

I teach children in China and Taiwan.
I also teach business English to adults in Japan and South Korea.

I was at a family wedding recently and my family asked me when I was going to get a real job. They said it completely seriously as if I was some sort of idiot.

My aunt asked me in a pitying manner, "do you regret wasting your degree?"

I wanted the ground to swallow me up :(

OP posts:
JarByTheDoor · 10/02/2023 19:30

Well your aunt's a twat isn't she.

WineCap · 10/02/2023 19:31

They sound jealous that you work on your own terms and aren't miserable in your career. How did you respond to the aunt? She was incredibly rude!

Some people will always get a kick from making others feel small. Don't let it get you down.

juneonthemoon · 10/02/2023 19:32

They sound ridiculous! and a bit thick

ZenNudist · 10/02/2023 19:32

Are you happy with it? Ignore your family. They are rude.

WhisperGold · 10/02/2023 19:33

Sounds like a real job to me.

PonyPatter44 · 10/02/2023 19:33

Just give them your biggest grin and go, "God no, I love teaching, and I love having this flexibility. Whats not to like?"

BIWI · 10/02/2023 19:34

Well I hope that you stood up for yourself, and pointed out just why it is not only a proper job but a serious, significant one too?

Tinkerbyebye · 10/02/2023 19:34

I would just comment ‘ How sad you don’t understand what I do, look it up, then come and apologise, until then please don’t mention my job again’

as I get older I get less tolerate of idiots like your aunt

crazycrofter · 10/02/2023 19:36

Why do they think it’s not a proper job? Do they think you don’t earn enough? My mum talks about ‘proper jobs’ and generally she means the sort of career she’s heard of, which requires a degree. She’s very narrow minded though and makes a lot of assumptions! What was your degree in?

mbosnz · 10/02/2023 19:37

Well, they can piss the hell off, can't they?

swedex · 10/02/2023 19:37

Sounds like a great job...when can I sign up?!

ClareBlue · 10/02/2023 19:38

We have a daughter doing this in Germany mixed with a bit of face to face at a night school for basic English. Teaches diplomats spouses, surgeons etc. Lesson planning, running the business and marketing herself. Of course it's a real job. But no stressful comute or office politics. Maybe that's what makes a job real.

BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward · 10/02/2023 19:39

“What makes you think I don’t have a ‘real’ job?” 😳 Then just stare at them so they have to explain their idiotic and uncalled for comment.

Rookie93 · 10/02/2023 19:39

How rude of them. Why should you feel embarrassed. It's a legitimate career and agree with pp that they're envious of your flexibility and skills. Have found lots of people seldom understand wfh roles but that's down to them.

PitYerTapOan · 10/02/2023 19:40

You're probably not miserable enough for her liking.

I find that's very often what's behind such comments.

You earn real money don't you? Then it's a real job.

Changingplace · 10/02/2023 19:40

Your aunt should be the one wanting the ground to swallow her up, what an absolutely ridiculous statement!

Next time arm yourself with a comeback to state your running your own business teaching around the globe and earning plenty of money thank you.

SquirrelFan · 10/02/2023 19:41

"When I stop earning real money."

WandaWonder · 10/02/2023 19:41

I don't get why they are saying this a job is a job, but I also don't get this if someone says something weird or odd 'they must be jealous' thing either

Anyway it is their issue not yours why do you need them think it's a real job? It works for you

Celinia · 10/02/2023 19:43

“Thanks Auntie Ignorant! Yes you’re right, I’ve completely fucked up and wasted the last 6 yrs teaching English to all age groups around the world. What do you recommend I should do with my degree?”

EmmaEmerald · 10/02/2023 19:43

juneonthemoon · 10/02/2023 19:32

They sound ridiculous! and a bit thick

This

I'm sorry to say my late father didn't really "get" freelancing either. He was horrified when I was able to work at home too. I felt weird that he could be so dumb - and he was clever, that's the odd bit - but the more I networked, the more I heard people say their parents didn't get it.

how do they think we earn a living? It's bizarre.

but anyway, just ignore them.

LimeTwists · 10/02/2023 19:45

Tell them you don’t understand them at all. Why isn’t your job ‘real’? Ask them exactly what they think you seem to do. Fucking rude people.

PitYerTapOan · 10/02/2023 19:45

Changingplace · 10/02/2023 19:40

Your aunt should be the one wanting the ground to swallow her up, what an absolutely ridiculous statement!

Next time arm yourself with a comeback to state your running your own business teaching around the globe and earning plenty of money thank you.

Exactly.

You are a globally positioned entrepreneur OP. Like Richard Branson. But without the beard. Tell her that next time she asks.

EmmaEmerald · 10/02/2023 19:45

PitYerTapOan · 10/02/2023 19:40

You're probably not miserable enough for her liking.

I find that's very often what's behind such comments.

You earn real money don't you? Then it's a real job.

Yes...I do remember telling dad "I don't earn monopoly money, you know".

I think some people have "full time, permanent contract with one company" as the prestigious option.

NotTooOldPaul · 10/02/2023 19:46

I've had a good career and enjoyed what I did but I wish I'd dome ESL as it seems so worthwhile and valuable in so many ways.

barmycatmum · 10/02/2023 19:47

Uh… wow! Just wow. I saw the title and expected you to say you were an actor or a writer (I am an actor and a writer. Heh! It’s hard work, but not “real,” apparently!)

what you do sounds intriguing, and it sounds like work to me! Rewarding, hard work.

what’s their damn problem? I’m afraid I’d have to make a joke out of it, but I’m a bit of a b*tch.

“yeah, drug dealing pays well, but I can’t take time off… even have to work at this party, would you believe it.”

I can’t believe someone would say such things and feel okay with themselves at the end of the day. So unbelievably rude! Maybe they’re just jealous.