If your dc was described as 'spacey' 'away with the fairies' 'daydreamer' and it wasn't ASD then what was it?

[PaulHeymanHairline]

Basically I'm looking at the most recent criteria for ASD diagnosis and I'm not sure my dd fits anymore. I'm not too bothered as she seems to have caught up in school more or less but I'm still concerned as her teachers say she's very much 'not present' during the majority of her lessons.
ASD was first raised when she was 2 and I suppose I've always thought of her in this context, she didn't have a diagnosis but her nursery made special care plans around her sensory needs and anxiety. I didn't mention to them that the health visitors had mentioned it but they independently raised it with me.
The school have been great but even they disagree amongst themselves whether it is ASD or ADD or some other sensory processing thing.
I just wondered if it could be personality. Has anyone else had a similar type of child who hasn't received a diagnosis? And if so then did they grow out of it and become more present or do they continue to live in a sort of half day dreamy state of semi reality.
I have a lot of empathy for my DD as I also spend my time with a sort of internal story playing in my head. I am very creative and think sort of visual images and narratives for things rather than rational plans. I genuinely thought everyone's mind was like this until recently. I am not ASD and I can focus if I need to, it takes a lot of concentration. If I have to do something with numbers or dates I have to work up to it and break it up and I will get 50% of the numbers wrong. Luckily I don't have to di this in my job!

I have autism, I was diagnosed in my late 20s exactly the same as your daughter. I still day dream a lot.

The thing with girls is that we're excellent at masking, and it makes it very hard to distinguish till later on in life.
Personally I'd keep a log of her behaviours and revisit it in 6 months or so.

Could be Dyspraxia?

Adhd.

I was like this as a child, still am to a certain extent but have a responsible job so expend a lot of energy overcoming it. I have no diagnosis, although have wondered recently whether I have mild ADHD (inattentive). So really don’t know if it’s personality or not!

Has your DD been referred for an Autism assessment? I'm generally of the opinion that its better to know one way or the other. My DD (9) was recently diagnosed and has always been described as being very bright but "away with the fairies" or "easily distracted". She can do complicated maths problems that I wouldn't be able to tackle but struggles with really basic everyday tasks because she gets lost in her own thoughts so easily.

Seconding dyspraxia

How's her hearing? One of my friends was described as being in her own world when she was small and they eventually discovered she was practically deaf. As an adult she still tended to not be present at times

what the diet like?
deficiency in iron, b12 can have similar symptoms. if dc is very fussy or has a restricted diet (vegan) or has absorbtion issues (coeliac for example)

I was like that and I'm pretty sure I've got ADHD.
Very similar to you in the way my brain works, have to really make an effort with dates and numbers and still get muddled sometimes. Two of my son's have diagnosis so I'm familiar with the process and criteria. My other son has an ASD diagnosis and I would say there is overlap, he is a daydreamer/ imaginative ( writes stories), one of my ADHDers is at art school, the other is studying software development!
I think ADHD can help make you creative, it's the finishing things you started that's problematic.
People with ADHD can concentrate but it's a struggle unless it's something they are very interested in ( often called hyper focus).

That was all my school reports! I’m a day dreamer; end of. It doesn’t mean special needs

This is me. I can't tell you how often I walk on autopilot and feel surprised when I hit my destination, the walking was entirely secondary to whatever I was daydreaming about. I daydream any time that I don't feel compelled to engage completely with whatever is going on.

There are upsides. I never get bored, as in -never. There is no wait so long, journey so far or task so monotonous that cannot be negated by daydreaming.

I am a maladaptive daydreamer. Have a read :)

Her personality?
I don't know why things like that can't be seen as normal..

Slow Processing Speed ?

You say your not autistic or anything else but have you been assessed? Because I was the NT child of me and my sibling, then a couple years ago the wheels fell off and we think I have ADHD (waiting for assesment) and more recently I'm starting to think ASD too because the more I learn and hear from diagnosed autistic people the more I'm like "oh that's me".

Also DD is down for assessment because she has some struggles that are getting in the way of life and my mum should go for assesment because it's looking incredibly likely that she's also autistic. Up till recently we've just been "normal with the odd quirk"

There are a lot of labels being floated here, does everyone have to have a label?

Is she doing any harm? No. Maybe it's just me but what could you do about it anyway?

ASD Girls can mask but they are under researched and often present differently to boys which makes a diagnosis difficult.

Why does everything need a diagnosis, a label, etc? Maybe this is just how she is.

Laziness? Not interested in the things that are being taught or the way they're taught? You don't need something "wrong" with you to find reality not living up to your expectations and prefer to keep your mind elsewhere.

DD is 100% spacey / daydreamer / away with the fairies and after evaluation was diagnosed with dyslexia (extremely low working memory but actually very clever / intelligent).

Seemed more like adhd-pi to me (which is what I have) but since I'd never put her on meds anyway at this stage, it doesn't really matter as the help she'd get (if it actually ever materialised) would be exactly the same with either diagnosis.

ADHD. I don't know much about ASD but to me the terms that you have mentioned scream ADHD. I am diagnosed with ADHD and I was like that as a child and still am.

If your DD is coping fine (academically, socially, emotionally) then to be honest at this stage I don't think it matters whether it's personality or something that warrants a diagnosis but as she gets older if it is ADHD it will very likely interfere with her functioning.

Having said that it might be worth putting in strategies and gently teaching her or even better helping her figure out how to focus (ie snap put of her dreams) when she needs to.

These are neurological conditions, not labels. A diagnosis (if correct) provides support and an understanding of why she might differ from her peers.

Anyone calling them a label has no clear understanding of these conditions and no right to comment!

Budding writer? Artist? Musician?

What's with the resistance to understanding if your brain just works differently?

DD cannot keep still or quiet. She will be labelled as a distraction, naughty, a handful etc or with the understanding that she actually cannot be still and quiet because she has ASD/ADHD people can be more accommodating.

What about if they end up burnt out and they're wondering why it's takes more effort to concentrate and do stuff than most other people. Instead of thinking they're crap they could understand that their brain isn't wired to work that way and it's not their fault.

ADHD inattentive type? Sounds like me.