Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else feel beholden to Hairdresser?

88 replies

prettyrainbows · 07/02/2023 12:20

I've been going to the same hairdresser for years, since in my twenties - I am now in my forties. She is almost like a friend. Sent me a card when I got married and flowers etc etc. I'm not really all that happy these days with my hair but I feel I cant change now
A couple of years ago I went to a different hairdresser a couple of times, but I was shocked when my old hairdresser text me asking where I was and if I was ok. I felt really awkward and ended going back to her. I'd love to try a new hair salon but it's sooo awkward! Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? She also lives local to me and so I do bump into her, making things worse!

OP posts:
MissWings · 07/02/2023 12:22

Yes very awkward. Not sure what the solution is. I’m an assertive woman but I would feel like a traitor I guess as they do become like friends.

Ifionlyknewthenwhatiknownow3 · 07/02/2023 12:24

Yep me, can't see how to change to a new hairdresser. My only option is moving really.

Ifionlyknewthenwhatiknownow3 · 07/02/2023 12:25

And I'm not moving away now at 60, been with her 28 years lol

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 07/02/2023 12:25

I changed salons because I couldn't justify the three figures I was spending on my hair - the woman I go to now is a one woman salon who is struggling a bit, whereas the place I went to for years is bigger and busier. She's cheaper, as well (as in half the price), but the colour is just as good and the cut is better.

I appreciate the feeling of guilt - I struggled with it a bit as well - but in the end you're a customer. If you want to go elsewhere you're free to do so. Have to say a text asking if you're OK sounds a bit guilt trippy - mine texted me to say they hadn't seen me for a while but that was it. I think they realise that in the current climate people are trimming their costs where they can.

It's funny, isn't it? I'd have no qualms about changing doctors or opticians but the place that does your hair seems like such a personal relationship.

Jafffffacakes · 07/02/2023 12:25

When you are next due to go away / on holiday have it done before and when you come back say I spontaneously had it done abroad etc. I did that and it gets you out of going. The other approach could just be saying sorry, no offence intended but I wanted a change. If she is rude enough to ask I’d be direct back.

Cait33 · 07/02/2023 12:27

I slept with mine (male hairdresser - apparently some are straight!) so had to change when we broke up 🙈

Dulra · 07/02/2023 12:30

One of the reasons why I always say I don't mind what stylist I get when I make appointments. I have been going to same salon for years but no single stylist.

MavisMcMinty · 07/02/2023 12:32

I do know what you mean, although I also feel beholden to her low, low prices - £14-18 for a wet cut (hairdressers never ever rinse hair properly after shampoo/conditioner), think it must be based on how many minutes I spend in the chair TBH. Tempted to go somewhere else for a really good cut and tell her my hairdresser cousin cut it for me, and can she just please copy it.

Crimeismymiddlename · 07/02/2023 12:43

Yes I spent years chopping and changing hairdressers, I would like one then they would give me a dodgy cut after I had been a few times. The one I go to now I love, she probably is not the best hairdresser but she never, ever says anything about the abomination that is my hair, mentions how my roots are really showing or any other comment apart from you look nice or I like your top which is so refreshing. However, I do like a cheap blunt cut to get rid of the ends sometimes so I just go to the £18 a cut place and hope she does not notice-she did once and I pretended that my hair was so damaged it just broke off. She did not believe me.

TheFretfulPorpentine · 07/02/2023 12:53

I have changed hairdressers several times and would not contemplate continuing to pay for a service I was not happy with. The stalky texts alone would be sufficient reason to cut contact.

Iyjd · 07/02/2023 12:55

Your family member/friends child/ neighbour is training and have asked for you to model for them. Then after a couple of “modelling” cuts they are wanting photos for a portfolio and by then you can say you are sticking with them until they have a few more customers and can make ends meet, or it’s easier because they come to your house/cook you tea when you go to theirs for it!

LocalHobo · 07/02/2023 12:56

I drive 40 minutes to my hairdresser now I no longer work in the same area. I know more about her life than some of my friends, having gone to her every six weeks for 22 years.
My hairdresser said, following Covid she was considering working for herself and going mobile. I immediately said "Oh, I like the pampering and break at a nice salon so that wouldn't suit me" feeling pleased I had the opportunity to leave. Unfortunately, on the next visit, she told me she had decided to stay where she was, mostly because I said I wouldn't follow her! I'm stuck forever, aren't I?

Catspyjamas17 · 07/02/2023 12:56

I have no qualms about it whatsoever. It's a business relationship, they are providing a service. My old hair salon closed and I kept in touch with the stylist I had and she moved to a new salon. A new salon which is nice but nowhere is worth £70 for a cut and blow dry, even if you do get a nice coffee and a bit of flapjack. Not all hairdressers are equal, it's not the case that only one person in the world can cut my hair well. A new salon has opening walking distance from my house - £39.50, did a really good job.

2bazookas · 07/02/2023 12:57

I have a hairdresser who I like very much; he's nearby which is handy, he does a great cut and the best craic I've ever encountered in a hairdresser. I've been his customer for 3 years during which he never ever answers the phone; he's told me so. When you're with him, you have his sole, undivided attention. At night, he catches up on his messages and calls me back.

Three weeks ago I left two answerphone messages asking for an appt ; no response at all. I called at the shop in the day; closed. I contacted local Next Door to say , "whats happened to my hairdresser? " 2 strangers replied to say; he's reduced his days, he's still in business, still great. So I emailed him asking for appt ,suggesting times that suited me ; instant appt offered. I accepted, we had a great time, lovely job. We did not mention my problem getting an appt.

Had he missed his third chance I'd have abandoned him without a second thought and found another great hairdresser.

Staygoldponyboystaygold · 07/02/2023 13:00

Very difficult. Your only option is to move away I’m afraid.

Iwantabloodypizza · 07/02/2023 13:02

Yes.

I used to use a mobile hairdresser who was lovely. Became a friend, she was local and we had mutual friends.

But I realised that she was obsessed with me having thick hair and would hack away at it until. it was thin and limp no matter what I asked for - not a great look when I had a bob.

So I started going elsewhere. And she was fucked off. She walked past me in the hairdresser one day, came in and was saying ho how hurt she was and why didn’t I call her. Then she said karma would get me

Ling story short, we ended up losing everything, had to move far away to somewhere very cheap and all I can afford now is a once a year dry trim with the old lady who has a shop down the road for £8. So hair karma did get me in the end.

tabulahrasa · 07/02/2023 13:02

Have you tried telling her you’re not happy with your hair?...

GodspeedJune · 07/02/2023 13:06

When I wanted to stop using a mobile hairdresser I said I wanted a change and to go to a salon. She was lovely about it. Could you do the opposite and say you’re changing to at home appts?

Now been with my current hairdresser for about 10 years. I really like her as a person but prices have shot up. I’d like to try someone new but it’s the personal relationship that stops me - I’d hate to upset or offend her.

Unfortunately I’m not very creative so just have the same cut each visit. I used to have a wonderful hairdresser who was so creative - did all sorts of styles on me which looked fab and I’d never have thought of.

OriginalUsername2 · 07/02/2023 13:06

prettyrainbows · 07/02/2023 12:20

I've been going to the same hairdresser for years, since in my twenties - I am now in my forties. She is almost like a friend. Sent me a card when I got married and flowers etc etc. I'm not really all that happy these days with my hair but I feel I cant change now
A couple of years ago I went to a different hairdresser a couple of times, but I was shocked when my old hairdresser text me asking where I was and if I was ok. I felt really awkward and ended going back to her. I'd love to try a new hair salon but it's sooo awkward! Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? She also lives local to me and so I do bump into her, making things worse!

Do you not think the cards and flowers might be a “keep the customer happy and loyal” kind of thing rather than friendship?

Baconand · 07/02/2023 13:09

No guilt whatsoever here! I change when I feel the need.
All hairdressers in a local area know each other, there’s no point lying or making an excuse but you also don’t need to explain. Just stop going and book with someone else. I wouldn’t respond to any messages- it’s ok to ghost a business. If you see them just change the subject.

Luckily my current place does all bookings online so it’s very easy to cancel and not go back if you need. Although I actually followed current hairdresser there because I like her. But I’d move on if I wanted to.

But I know they all gossip between the 20 or so local salons. And staff move all
the time. They know. But you don’t owe them any more loyalty than you owe your energy supplier.

Minikievs · 07/02/2023 13:10

@Iwantabloodypizza that's really made me laugh 🤣
I hope it's not true else I'll feel mean for laughing at your bad hair karma

Toddlerteaplease · 07/02/2023 13:10

Yes. I never quite got what I wanted. Had to have an emergency re cut once when it just wasn't working. Swapped to another company and the difference is amazing. Feel really guilty though. As she's self employed.

YouJustDoYou · 07/02/2023 13:11

She'll survive without you as a customer. Don't worry about it.

Alphabetasoul · 07/02/2023 13:14

Ditched mine when she cut my Fringe way too short 3 times in a row despite me actually pointing to where I wanted it cut to . It looked like someone had dumped a pudding bowl on my head. She was just taking my custom for granted and just cutting it to her convenience. Let it grow and now cut it myself .

Iwantabloodypizza · 07/02/2023 13:17

Minikievs · 07/02/2023 13:10

@Iwantabloodypizza that's really made me laugh 🤣
I hope it's not true else I'll feel mean for laughing at your bad hair karma

It’s very true, sadly for me. But at least I can see the funny side!

And at least the old lady down the road doesn’t shred my hair to wisps, so it’s not all
bad!