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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else feel beholden to Hairdresser?

88 replies

prettyrainbows · 07/02/2023 12:20

I've been going to the same hairdresser for years, since in my twenties - I am now in my forties. She is almost like a friend. Sent me a card when I got married and flowers etc etc. I'm not really all that happy these days with my hair but I feel I cant change now
A couple of years ago I went to a different hairdresser a couple of times, but I was shocked when my old hairdresser text me asking where I was and if I was ok. I felt really awkward and ended going back to her. I'd love to try a new hair salon but it's sooo awkward! Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? She also lives local to me and so I do bump into her, making things worse!

OP posts:
pumpkin12 · 07/02/2023 13:18

I was in a similar situation and really wanted to try a new better priced hairdressers. Then a number of years ago I won a voucher for a cut and colour at a Christmas school event, it was for a place I'd never have tried as it looked very tired and not as nice as my usual salon anyway I've never looked back, it saves cash and I'm happy with it. My teenage daughter now gets her hair done there too so I'm hoping I don't start feeling like I want to move again!

ilovesooty · 07/02/2023 13:19

Ifionlyknewthenwhatiknownow3 · 07/02/2023 12:24

Yep me, can't see how to change to a new hairdresser. My only option is moving really.

I'm lucky in that I'm happy with mine. After 4 house moves I'm still with her. I've been with her for over 30 years now. I suspect I'd feel awful if I wanted to change though.

SignOnTheWindow · 07/02/2023 13:21

Cait33 · 07/02/2023 12:27

I slept with mine (male hairdresser - apparently some are straight!) so had to change when we broke up 🙈

Well, that's one way to do it!

Celia24 · 07/02/2023 13:22

I'm thinking of leaving mine.

Last time I went in I felt she was rude & their usp is they offer cocktails. I wasn't even offered a glass of water, so I noted that. I think she's started to take me for granted but will give one more chance.

The other thing is she's having a difficult time personally & has taken to offloading to clients. Not so much me but others and overhear it -not very relaxing!

Ferguson0909 · 07/02/2023 13:24

I do feel for you. I had been with my hairdresser for over 20 years. Never put any demands on her. Wasn’t bothered if they had time to blow dry it.

Then one Saturday I was going somewhere special and I made an appointment at the last minute because I thought my hair was a mess.
Her junior was very stroppy with me. Said I shouldnt have asked for my hair to be blow dried at such short notice as they were busy.

I never went back.
If she ever asked why I would have given her the reason.
I did go somewhere else for a short period earlier because the hairdresser was next to my office. So I suppose you could say that.

CatOnTheChair · 07/02/2023 13:28

Absoolutly no qualms about chopping and changing.
It's a service. Try elsewhere, see if they are better. Mix and match.
I've never found anyone so amazing that a decent hairdresser can't replicate it.

Laurdo · 07/02/2023 13:32

I've been going my hairdresser about 9 years. She knows all my secrets 🤣. Been there through divorce, breakups, engagements, dating disasters and recently my wedding.

I love the way she does my hair when I go in for my usual. I've got to her to have my hair put up before and it was ok but I felt I could have done it the same by myself. When I was looking to book a hairdresser for my wedding I booked another woman who I went to school with who posts pictures of stunning undos.

I went to my regular hairdresser for my colour just before the wedding and did feel super awkward when she asked who was doing my hair for the wedding. I told her and to be honest she didn't seem bothered. I did feel awful though but if I'd used her and wasn't happy with my hair on the day I would have felt worse.

iloveyankeecandle · 07/02/2023 13:38

In a similar situation. I like my hair but would just like a change. She's my friend though.. so I'm stuck too

HamFrancisco · 07/02/2023 13:41

A couple of times I've tried out new hairdressers and have ended up going back to my original one. I'm not sure she's that bothered but I find it a bit awks.

samsam777 · 07/02/2023 13:42

I am in the same situation. I pay over £130 for a cut and highlights. I drive home with my highlights still in and wash at home. Because she takes bloody forever putting the highlights in, if I stayed to get my hair washed and blown I'd be there for about 5 hours and it's unbearable. She works from home and is constantly stopping to stop her 3 older children from fighting with each other or stopping to talk to her husband. I honestly hate getting it done but have been going to her for so long it's awkward to break free.

DixieSinclair · 07/02/2023 13:52

Yes I also feel like this. What makes it even worse is that mine is my mother in lawGrin

Ihadenough22 · 07/02/2023 13:56

I know how the posters here feel about hairdressers and moving from one to another.
Over the years I had some good hairdressers and then I tried others that were either I looked fine leaving the salon but 3 weeks later my hair was not sitting right. Or I got the cut from hell that seemed to take ages to grow out.
A friend gave me a voucher for place in the nearest big town to where I live. I found a good hairdresser their who I went to for several years.
She decided to work from home a few years ago and had a room set up as salon. Despite this her prices kept rising and this was pre covid.
I heard about another hairdresser and went to them. They are far cheaper and I am happy with the cut. I put a semi permanent colour in my hair every few weeks and I intend to do this for as long as possible to keep costs down.

MsFogi · 07/02/2023 13:57

No - your hairdresser is charging you for the service so I don't think you should feel obliged to only go to her (if she decides to start doing it for free then you can rethink). She sounds like she is looking after her business pretty well but calling when you don't visit for a while etc, as any good business would to retain clients.
Hairdressing is expensive and your hair is on show all day every day so you have to be happy. So just go where you want and if you are challenged by your old hairdresser just say you wanted a change. She should have the good grace to accept that.
I find that however happy I am with a hairdresser at the beginning I end up needing to change every few years because either they start to take my custom for granted and their level of service goes down or they do the same over and over again however much I ask for a change (they just see me as a middle aged woman with x colour and x cut and seem unwilling to move away from that).

AFingerofFudge · 07/02/2023 14:00

I had an awkward situation because I was with my hairdresser for a long time and I wanted a change. One day just before my cut they rang to say my hairdresser was ill and would I mind seeing someone else. I agreed and I had an amazing cut which I totally loved and so then I thought there's no way I can change to someone from the same salon so resigned myself to seeing my original hairdresser.
On the very next appointment my hairdresser told me she was pregnant and as I congratulated her and told her I was overjoyed, I was actually even more overjoyed for myself Grin

bellswithwhistles · 07/02/2023 14:00

samsam777 · 07/02/2023 13:42

I am in the same situation. I pay over £130 for a cut and highlights. I drive home with my highlights still in and wash at home. Because she takes bloody forever putting the highlights in, if I stayed to get my hair washed and blown I'd be there for about 5 hours and it's unbearable. She works from home and is constantly stopping to stop her 3 older children from fighting with each other or stopping to talk to her husband. I honestly hate getting it done but have been going to her for so long it's awkward to break free.

Christ this one is easy. Just go somewhere else! Just say you're having a break from highlights at the minute and going natural. Easy. Done. I certainly wouldn't pay that much for such a lack of service and stress to boot!

ManchesterGirl2 · 07/02/2023 14:02

Cait33 · 07/02/2023 12:27

I slept with mine (male hairdresser - apparently some are straight!) so had to change when we broke up 🙈

That's one solution Cait 😂

Baconand · 07/02/2023 14:05

samsam777 · 07/02/2023 13:42

I am in the same situation. I pay over £130 for a cut and highlights. I drive home with my highlights still in and wash at home. Because she takes bloody forever putting the highlights in, if I stayed to get my hair washed and blown I'd be there for about 5 hours and it's unbearable. She works from home and is constantly stopping to stop her 3 older children from fighting with each other or stopping to talk to her husband. I honestly hate getting it done but have been going to her for so long it's awkward to break free.

Seriously?! Have a word with yourself. Just stop going. It’s not hard. Stop allowing someone to treat you that badly.

Tohaveandtohold · 07/02/2023 14:05

You can say you’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos recently and can now do some DIY on your hair so won’t be needing to visit a salon anytime soon and just hope she does not catch you somewhere else 😂😂
Otherwise, you need to speak to her that you’re not happy with the way she does your hair

samsam777 · 07/02/2023 14:06

Jesus don't you think I know that. I am saying how awkward it is to go elsewhere. Just having a moan like we all are about how difficult it is to break free because of relationships you have with the hairdresser. Plus my hairdresser is on my social media I'm sure she will know if I'm having a break from highlights. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with not the best hairdresser. So calm down Jean. I know what I need to do, we are just venting.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 07/02/2023 14:06

Yes.

I was glad when the pandemic released me; didn't get cut or color for 2.5 years.

Cut it myself based on YouTube lessons.

Recently sneaked into a budget salon for a trim.

CrystalCoco · 07/02/2023 14:07

Staygoldponyboystaygold · 07/02/2023 13:00

Very difficult. Your only option is to move away I’m afraid.

😅

Picklypickles · 07/02/2023 14:10

No, I've never gotten attached to any particular hairdressers or salons and never become particularly friendly with any hairdressers. They are providing a service and I'm a paying customer, if I stop being happy with the service I'm paying for or just feel like trying somewhere I else I never feel a moments guilt about it! I had been going to the same salon for a few years because it was close to home and they usually did a nice job but ditched them when they messed up a booking I'd made for myself and my daughter and could not make another appointment for weeks. I now go to another local salon, which it turns out costs less and is a far more relaxing salon to go to!

MrsMontyD · 07/02/2023 14:10

I left my last long term hairdressers while my usual one was off long term sick and their prices went through the roof.

I'm happy with my current hairdresser but I'm considering using someone else when I want a blow dry for a night out (once in a blue moon) because last time I was fobbed off on the trainee who didn't do a great job.

Want2beme · 07/02/2023 14:13

I don't have any loyalty towards hairdressers. I've changed so many times, I've lost count! I'm never happy with my hair, & maybe that's whyGrin

Go to another hairdresser, and if you get another text, tell her you've shaved your hair off😂

TootsAtOwls · 07/02/2023 14:15

You could tell her one of your friends is training to be a hairdresser so you're letting them use your hair to practise on. That way you have an excuse if she sees you with a new cut or colour!

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