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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else feel beholden to Hairdresser?

88 replies

prettyrainbows · 07/02/2023 12:20

I've been going to the same hairdresser for years, since in my twenties - I am now in my forties. She is almost like a friend. Sent me a card when I got married and flowers etc etc. I'm not really all that happy these days with my hair but I feel I cant change now
A couple of years ago I went to a different hairdresser a couple of times, but I was shocked when my old hairdresser text me asking where I was and if I was ok. I felt really awkward and ended going back to her. I'd love to try a new hair salon but it's sooo awkward! Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? She also lives local to me and so I do bump into her, making things worse!

OP posts:
MucozadeOnLucozade · 07/02/2023 14:22

Omg I was stuck with same hairdresser for ten years, all she could do was a boring bob. Everyone came out with the boring bob. She couldn't do anything else! But felt I was in a legal contract to see her. After a shocking haircut I just decided enough was enough and you know, she's never once contacted me!

But now I am in a tie with current hairdresser as when you pay you automatically pay an extra £10 which is deposit to your next appointment with her! Now how to get out of that one??

TheFretfulPorpentine · 07/02/2023 14:30

MucozadeOnLucozade · 07/02/2023 14:22

Omg I was stuck with same hairdresser for ten years, all she could do was a boring bob. Everyone came out with the boring bob. She couldn't do anything else! But felt I was in a legal contract to see her. After a shocking haircut I just decided enough was enough and you know, she's never once contacted me!

But now I am in a tie with current hairdresser as when you pay you automatically pay an extra £10 which is deposit to your next appointment with her! Now how to get out of that one??

Tell her you don't have your diary with you and don't want to commit to a date without it.

pigsDOfly · 07/02/2023 14:39

I can't imagine staying with any one hairdresser for over 20 years.

I've yet to find a hairdresser that can cut my hair well more than once.

They seem to do a good job the first time but I go back for the second haircut and for some reason they always seems to mess it up.

I generally give them a third try but sure enough, it just gets even worse.

Hillarious · 07/02/2023 14:43

Been with mine for 15 years. He's the dad of one of my son's best friends. It's nice to chat and ask about each other's families, and be genuinely interested in what everyone is up to. He also cuts my hair well and asks me every time I come to pay how much he usually charges me.

Candlesamdyoga · 07/02/2023 14:47

It's so hard. I am ok at the minute but went once to a lady who WFH and it was so so expensive I knew o couldn't afford to go back. I now panic I may see her as she's local. She came from a pricey city centre salon that was £££ but I naively assumed home trim would be cheaper ! Nope

EmptyPlaces · 07/02/2023 14:52

Yes and no.

When I lived in my hometown, my much younger sister was my hairdresser and she was great. I then moved 50 miles away. I felt bad as she’s self employed and I spend £££ at the salon but I do point all my old friends in her direction.

My hairdresser now has been a close friend for over 15 years, long before I moved to her area(ish - I drive 10 miles to her salon - worth it as I know she’s great). I’d only change if I moved (not planning to any time soon) but I’ve never had even a slight issue with how she’s done my hair.

PositiveIntelligence · 07/02/2023 14:54

I changed my yoga class and my yoga teacher who also became a friend caused so much drama and acted so weird, the friends ended. She is local too but we knew each other only for about 3 years.

Humans are weird.

I would thank the hairdresser for her dedication all these years and explain I making changes in my life and trying out new everything.

MirabelMax · 07/02/2023 14:57

This thread is bonkers! It would never occur to me to stick with a hairdresser I didn't like out of a feeling of being beholden. It's a business. If they wanted to retire or move I doubt they'd put those plans on hold out of loyalty to a customer!

Snoopystick · 07/02/2023 15:01

Had a hairdresser who I considered a friend text me on the morning of my appointment to say she was no longer wfh and to contact her new salon to book an appointment. Having booked annual leave off for the appointment I was rather miffed and ditched her. I’ve moved hairdressers a few times since as I don’t feel so loyal anymore but appreciate it can be hard especially if they’re local.

Vinorosso74 · 07/02/2023 15:05

I've being going to the same one for 10 years with no intention of leaving. She is expensive but is great and currently helping me through awkward post chemo hair growth. Sadly she can't accelerate the growth process!

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 07/02/2023 15:12

agree that I'm not beholden to the individual, but their price list. The guy I go to is decent, and a good 35% cheaper than the other places locally. It's a PITA because since I started going there, his personal circumstances have changed a lot. He works far fewer hours and his days off are the same as mine, so I need to book months ahead AND make sure it coincides with my annual leave. I think he's actually looking to offload clients as he's cut his hours, but I am too tight to go elsewhere.

WanderingWildflower · 07/02/2023 15:14

I’ve got two! One for cuts and one for colours.

Hairdresser A is a little salon just down the road for me and lets you book online so I can always get an appointment with my usual without too much of a wait so it’s perfect for cuts.

Hairdresser B has a home salon near my old hometown so 30 mins drive but I’ve been going to her for years and I just wouldn’t trust anyone else to do my colour. Sometimes she gives me a trim too but the intervals are different.

Wouldnt occur to me to feel bad 😂

MsMarch · 07/02/2023 15:20

Firing my hairdresser was the most stressful thing I've ever done! We weren't friends, but our DC were at the same school, similar social circles, small village etc. But she couldn't do what I wanted. The final straw was when I was speaking to another hairdresser about what I had originally wanted when I did a major hair change and my hairdresser had basically said that wasn't possible. This hairdresser was like, "what, of course that's doable".

So I got her to cut it, she did an incredible job, and I then had to text my original hairdresser. It was very stressful. But I am much happier with my hair now!

dottiedodah · 07/02/2023 15:34

If you had a Dentist you didnt like you would go somewhere else? I think this loyalty to your HD is misplaced TBH. All this Card /Flowers stuff when you got married is to keep you sweet.I would go somewhere that suits you better,if you get any more texts asking how you are just reply Hi Im fine thanks ,just trying out a new HD for a change .Nothing personal ,Im sure you understand.

Blackbirdsinthgarden · 07/02/2023 16:36

Yes, I agree that loyalty is to keep you sweet (unless, of course you are good friends, socialise together etc.). In which case, I understand that it’s difficult.

My previous hairdresser was good and I liked the result. I had been going to her for a couple of years and she then opened her own salon. It wasn’t as near, but perfectly doable. I stayed with her for about 10 years, and she then announced she was selling up the business and becoming self-employed at another salon. I decided to follow her there, and although the distance wasn’t too far away, traffic and parking was a problem. In the end, I used the parking excuse (main road, near a school) as the reason to leave and found a salon at the top of my road. I called in on the off-chance to book a consultation and the lady who met me was free at the time (as her client was waiting for her colour to develop). There wasn’t any pressure on me to book, but she seemed to know what I wanted, so I booked for the following week. The result was amazing - far better than before! So, I haven’t looked back.

I was about the same age as my previous hairdresser’s mum, so we didn’t really have much in common, which became apparent when a much younger person had their cut/colour whilst mine was developing and their conversation used to grate on me a bit!

My new hairdresser is a bit older and we just chat about general things. She’s quick and does exactly what I want. What’s even better is that I can walk to the top of the road to the salon in about 15 minutes - fantastic if the weather is bad! She’s a bit more expensive (I managed to get a consultation with the “Creative Director”! )
Sounds a lot grander than is it, as it’s a small salon in the suburbs of a fairly large town!

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 07/02/2023 16:51

I've been with mine for over 20 years. Although when I first started going to the salon she was the Saturday girl but once she qualified and my hairdresser left, I moved to her.

I even followed her when she opened her own salon. I just trust her with my hair and don't want the hassle of finding someone new.

StackBlocks · 07/02/2023 17:00

You have to hope for a global pandemic meaning that when everyone re-books in for the same time you can slip off to someone else and they won’t have time to follow up 😂that was the one silver lining of the first lockdown for me!

OldandTired66 · 07/02/2023 17:48

Oh, this is me too. I've been going to the same hairdresser for at least 15 years and have followed her to 3 salons. She does a lovely cut but her current salon is awful, loud music, very busy and she doesn't have juniors and has about 3 customers on the go at once, so takes ages. And talks endlessly about her pet in which I have absolutely no interest. I followed her on face book to keep track of her salon moves so even more awkward. I'm such a wuss, I don't know how to tell her I'm moving on.

ThisIsBrandNewInformation · 07/02/2023 17:56

I wanted a change but didn’t dare leave my hairdresser of 20 years. The pandemic hit, she became an insta/TikTok star and ignored my messages. I have now found somewhere better.

The moral is that beware, the loyalty may not be both ways. Cut your losses and leave her before she dumps you.

familyissues12345 · 07/02/2023 18:10

After years of using the same hairdresser (mobile) I decided to treat myself last year and go to a salon. Loved it so much I rebooked and haven't booked my old hairdresser for over a year. It's awkward as I still see her about (we live in the same estate), and I wonder what she thinks when she sees me with a new barnet! BlushGrin

girlfriend44 · 07/02/2023 19:14

You have the choice to get your haircut wherever you want and your hairdresser needs to respect that.

She's already had loads of business from you. I would find that slightly weird if a hairdresser was putting pressure on me.

Layla30 · 07/02/2023 19:22

In my area the local colleges have training days (I would imagine most do this) so I went to that and then just told my hairdresser, who was also a friend, that I was having to use that service due to money! I still go to the training days occasionally but use another hairdresser too.

BellaJuno · 07/02/2023 19:28

I can’t believe everyone is ignoring the most obvious solution! Just shave your head and tell her your new style inspo is Demi Moore in her GI Jane era - sorted!

hourbyhour101 · 08/02/2023 00:29

Mim so glad I have found this thread (I was starting to feel like the only one) I'm in a good job, v confident (probably to much so) blunt but around my hairdresser I feel like I'm talking to a adult and I'm a child. She honestly scares the life out of me.

I said I wanted a fringe. She said no. I said ok I want to add a bit of warmth to my hair or go a bit darker. I'm v naturally blonde and I got a lecture about how people pay for my colour hair and no.

And I do appreciate that I really bloody do but I just wanted a change. So I summed all my courage to tell her...and I did and she just promptly ignored me and apparently I was too lily livered to say anything else.

Anyway so I'm back at the salon in 2 weeks time. My DH thinks this is hilarious btw he doesn't understand that apparently around her I seem to lose my spine.

I once did my own hair and she noticed and the lecture I got was unreal. I'm sure she chopped off a lot more hair just as punishment 😭😭

Teaandtoast3 · 08/02/2023 02:24

No. Mostly because I either don’t get what I ask for (which has happened a million times) or the service starts to decline slightly with subsequent visits.

My hair takes an age to grow so I usually only need to go twice a year ish. I do all my own colouring.

I would go to the same hairdresser if I found one I really liked and that was consistent though!