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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not do food for party

371 replies

ttctimeforme · 06/02/2023 18:54

If you went to an party in the evening at a venue, around 7:30pm onwards.. would you expect food to be provided?

OP posts:
sunflowerdaisyrose · 07/02/2023 08:11

As it's close family and friends, can you not ask a couple of people to set up for you? Are there no decorations you need to put up either?

What sort of venue is it?

Personally, Id find a way to either go myself or someone else to put food out/decorations up/sort music if that's down to you and not the venue too.

For food I'd do pot luck and ask for people to bring something (I wouldn't mind this with close family or friends) or the pizza idea.

I'd also provide a welcome drink if it's a party for your partner as you are hosting. If you're more coordinating for a group of people then that expense shouldn't really fall to you.

maddy68 · 07/02/2023 08:17

ttctimeforme · 06/02/2023 18:57

I was thinking of just doing some sweet food, cakes, doughnuts etc

Would that be sufficient?

It's not about budget it's because it's a surprise party it will be very difficult to arrange food and the venue doesn't offer it

I wouldnt do sweet stuff I would keep it simple. Lots of cheeses and breads everyone helps them themselves

GoodChat · 07/02/2023 08:45

OP have you ever been to a party before?

knittingaddict · 07/02/2023 08:52

😁I was tempted to post just that last night GoodChat. It's been the most baffling thread.

knittingaddict · 07/02/2023 08:56

ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 07:14

Is that the only thing you enjoy in a party then? Having your food and drink paid for??

Not seeing your friends and family? 😅

Think a lot of people on this thread need to remember what's actually important in life.

Show quote history

Hospitality and generosity not important then?

GabrielleChanel · 07/02/2023 09:00

ttctimeforme · 06/02/2023 19:16

It's not a big party, just something small with 30-40 close friends and family

No caterers that I can find on google really in this area unfortunately

I had a look at getting the sandwiches from m&s and they had wraps etc too but then sandwiches and wraps aren't enough either on their own are they..

The pizza idea could work but would this look a bit naff I'm not sure?

I don't know when I'll be able to get to the party to set up either

If I manage to pull this party off without getting caught out I'll be amazed 😅

Pizza will not be naff. People will be delighted. But better that than an whole pile of drunk hungry people
Is it a paid bar?

MRex · 07/02/2023 09:06

ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 07:14

Is that the only thing you enjoy in a party then? Having your food and drink paid for??

Not seeing your friends and family? 😅

Think a lot of people on this thread need to remember what's actually important in life.

Show quote history

What an odd response. People have tried to explain to you that providing food is the norm at parties, so your guests will not have eaten if they arrive at 7.30pm. It would be hugely unreasonable of you to not provide food nor inform them.

I'm confused about what you think a "party" consists of if there is to be no decoration, no drinks, no food and presumably no other entertainment. You've got a group of people gathered at that point, you don't have a party. If that's what you want then you ask people to "meet us at the pub anytime on X evening, by the way they don't serve food", not "come to Y party at Z time".

Original poster
ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:08

@MRex who said no decorations and no entertainment? 🤔

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 07/02/2023 09:09

ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 07:14

Is that the only thing you enjoy in a party then? Having your food and drink paid for??

Not seeing your friends and family? 😅

Think a lot of people on this thread need to remember what's actually important in life.

Show quote history

A large group of people corralled into a room with no hospitality offered is not a party...
The honoured guest is going to feel anything but, believe me.

Original poster
ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:10

@Johnnysgirl do you know them then? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Doesn't sound like you do but thank you for your input

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 07/02/2023 09:12

You are definitely on a wind up op. Bye.

Original poster
ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:12

@knittingaddict bye 😄

OP posts:
OrderOfTheKookaburra · 07/02/2023 09:13

Can you hire a food van to come with food? One of those that you see at fairs etc. if you can afford to pay for it that's a good way to go. They can park outside and everyone can go and grab some food. No prep for you.

ZiriForEver · 07/02/2023 09:16

Pizza is totally ok, easy to get, easy to eat, maybe with some paper plates (or scissors to make plates from top halfs of pizza boxes) for convenience.

misslaa · 07/02/2023 09:17

Hi op have you tried asking in any of your local cafes/bakery/ deli? We live in a small town and while they dont advertise catering a few of them are happy to if you pop in and speak to them. Hopefully you figure something out 😊

MRex · 07/02/2023 09:19

ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:08

@MRex who said no decorations and no entertainment? 🤔

Oh I see, so you're laying on motocross stunt bikes and a comedian, plus blowing up 50 balloons and hanging streamers, but you can't manage to order pizza. Yeah, obviously.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 07/02/2023 09:19

ShillyShallySherbet · 06/02/2023 22:42

Well yes that would have been very much appreciated and lovely but it would have been very expensive for her, hundreds of pounds on a birthday party? People who do that must be made of money, I don’t move in that kind of circle so don’t expect that from my friends. For my birthday I invited friends out for a meal but thankfully they didn’t expect me to pay for them all!

Show quote history

If you can't afford to feed and water your guests then you shouldn't be having a party. Its unacceptable to invite people then not feed them or even give them drinks.

If you can't afford a big venue then just invite fewer people to your home and have a house party with food and drinks provided. Whats the point in trying to be flashy with a big venue and loads of people if you can't even feed them and they all have to buy their own drinks Confused

That's not what hospitality is.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 07/02/2023 09:21

And inviting people out for a meal is totally different.

Original poster
ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:22

@MRex I didn't say I couldn't order pizza either did I?

I'll be able to do decorations etc in the day but I can't leave food out all afternoon

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 07/02/2023 09:22

ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:10

@Johnnysgirl do you know them then? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Doesn't sound like you do but thank you for your input

If you're totally sure that gathering like a load of cub scouts in a room devoid of food and drink will seem like a perfectly acceptable party for your guests, I wonder what you want from this thread?

Johnnysgirl · 07/02/2023 09:23

I hope everyone enjoys your party, op, and you're not left feeling a little embarrassed on the night.

ThisIsBrandNewInformation · 07/02/2023 09:24

ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:08

@MRex who said no decorations and no entertainment? 🤔

You said you can’t possibly get there in time to set up food. So it’s pretty obvious you won’t be doing decorations. And a host who does not think giving their guests food or drink is necessary, is hardly going to plan entertainment.

Are you very young and this is your partner’s 18th/21st? I might just excuse your breathtaking ignorance then!

dogdaydown · 07/02/2023 09:24

Surely the venue whilst not offering catering have a list of caterers that could help?

MRex · 07/02/2023 09:27

ttctimeforme · 07/02/2023 09:22

@MRex I didn't say I couldn't order pizza either did I?

I'll be able to do decorations etc in the day but I can't leave food out all afternoon

What are you finding so complicated? Pre-order food for delivery at 7.15 and have the venue put it out, or at 8 and do it then.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 07/02/2023 09:31

When you go in the afternoon to set up the decorations, set up tables in a corner or along the wall near the door the delivery will come in at and when the food/pizza is delivered just put it on the tables in its boxes.