To ask for how you helped your child develop socially

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Not massively aibu so soz but posting for traffic.

Dd is 4, 5 in May. She didn't go to nursery and seems to be struggling socially now. She has no problems playing with me dad or her ds at home but has developed a bit of an obsession with another dc at school and this isn't reciprocated. It's also not actually a friendship, dd talks about the other child alot but when they're together she doesn't actually talk or start playing. The obsession comes from her not allowing the other dc to play with other children which is hugely unfair on this other dc.

I want to help dd fit in to her class, she's refused offers to play with other kids and also doesn't talk if there are say 5 or 6 kids sitting at a table doing a picture.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm looking at clubs to sign her up for, I think she would enjoy dance but not sure if that offers much in way of interaction with others.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4699196-advice-please-my-child-has-poor-social-skills

www.mumsnet.com/talk/teenagers/4220684-How-can-I-help-my-son-improve-his-confidence-and-social-skills

Beavers and brownies are brilliant

She will have had it tough with covid and lockdown.

Mine both went to nursery and I was part of a first time mum group I met up with occasionally and we had holidays, weekends away and days out (I worked part time). Days out included: parks, playing in a river with a fishing net or throwing stones, at a beach, soft play museum, forest trail, craft sessions etc etc. Basically, anywhere where they would see, meet, talk to and play with other kids.

Do you ever take her to local parks or soft play or anything like that and encourage her to interact with other kids? Show her some pictures or videos of say rainbows, Beavers, dancing, football and see if she fancies trying anything.

Look at social stories as well as the above.

I would talk to the teacher and ask for their input because you both need to be on the same page in terms of techniques and skills being used

Walk to school. We drove past the school to a car park, and built up friends from different age groups walking together.

Interact a lot with your dd a lot, put your phone away till after bed, read together, watch things together, talk randomly about stuff.

Play dates were always hard, build some structure, let's make a cake (not packet, get them measuring, string it out) , then wash up together (ignore dishwasher), decorate cakes, watch something together.

It's hard but honestly so worth doing as much as you can to move forward.

She can join squirrels at 4 and beavers at 6. Brilliant for life skills, confidence and resilience. But they have waiting lists so don't hang about.

Mine also did lots of sports and dancing.

I don't know. My son is 8 and struggling. We've just started karate and trying to persuade him to beavers/cubs

I agree with @Dwellingbuyingdilemma .
I suggest you look into Rainbows. It is likely there will be fewer children than in a class and a lot of the activities involve small groups or working in pairs. Before you commit to starting you could briefly explain what you would like your DD to get out of joining and see how you feel about the leader's response.

Completely forgot about brownies and scouts so thanks for those suggestions!

At home she's fine, we do loads of cooking, crafts, games and general playing. It's just she doesn't seem to want to engage with other kids. We go to softplay once a week, play with cousins and have nice days out with friends and their kids - she's mostly shy and guess looking back she isn't directly playing with them but more just in the vicinity