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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you swear in conversation with your adult children?

110 replies

Ahsoka2001 · 06/02/2023 16:01

Personally, my Mum hates swearing in general and says she'll never allow it in her house even when my sister is an adult (she's 14, I'm 21). But I've gone round friends' houses, etc. and seen them and their parents swear around each other like it's their normal thing to do.

I don't think either mindset is wrong really, but which do you prefer? Would you "tell off" your adult child if they swore in conversation with you?

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 06/02/2023 19:24

oviraptor21 · 06/02/2023 17:12

Same here.
Just don't see the point in using bad language.

Show quote history

Same here.
It isn't that I don't 'swear in conversation with my adult children', I just don't feel the need to swear in life generally.

burnoutbabe · 06/02/2023 19:27

I don't swear in front of my parents nor them me.

But I will use swear words if describing something where it was needed-ie quoting something maybe.

RampantIvy · 06/02/2023 19:29

It isn't that I don't 'swear in conversation with my adult children', I just don't feel the need to swear in life generally.

I'm not offended by swearing BTW, it just isn't something I feel the need to do. Why say something in two or three words when one will do kind of thing.

Theylastedwell · 06/02/2023 19:30

I don’t swear in conversation with my mum who is 79 but I do with my son who is 19, and he me. Not directed at each other, more of a “fucking hell it’s cold today” way. I do occasionally call him a knobhead, as a term of endearment

PugInTheHouse · 06/02/2023 19:50

meow1989 · 06/02/2023 19:20

Yes, if ds isn't around I swear fluently. My mum is who I learnt from - my dad hates swearing, so I do it more in front of him if he has ago because I am a massive child Grin

That made me chuckle. I can imagine a particular friend of mine doing that 😂

I have always worked in places where people are quite sweary, rarely as much as the c word as its office based but quite stressful professional environment so lots of fucks, bollocks etc. My boss regularly replies to my emails with FFS 😂

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/02/2023 19:53

Yes but we are a generally sweary family.

TeaAndTattoos · 06/02/2023 23:51

Yeah we all swear in front of each other it’s just part of normal conversation for me and my family so it’s just natural for an f bomb to slip out but I don’t swear in front of everyone just my family and I would never swear in front of my grandma.

saraclara · 07/02/2023 00:02

I'm not much of a swearer and nor was my late husband, so haven't sworn in front of either set of parents or kids.

It wouldn't bother me if my DDs (in their 30s) did swear in front of me though. I certainly wouldn't tell them off!

I have a best friend who is a massively prolific swearer. I as astounded when he was horrified at the idea of swearing in front of his parents! I don't know how he manages to stay with them for whole weekends without at least one 'fuck' slipping out! He can barely get through a sentence without one normally!

Girlswithgoodbodieslikeboyswithferarris · 07/02/2023 00:10

saraclara · 07/02/2023 00:02

I'm not much of a swearer and nor was my late husband, so haven't sworn in front of either set of parents or kids.

It wouldn't bother me if my DDs (in their 30s) did swear in front of me though. I certainly wouldn't tell them off!

I have a best friend who is a massively prolific swearer. I as astounded when he was horrified at the idea of swearing in front of his parents! I don't know how he manages to stay with them for whole weekends without at least one 'fuck' slipping out! He can barely get through a sentence without one normally!

The last sentence is me.

Im so sweary around friends and my own household, and at work. My parents have maybe heard me swear once, in context during a speech. And I was mortified about it.

My 7 year old hears me say the whole lot of swear words before breakfast. I like to use profanities like sprinkles. The colour my vocabulary nicely.

Giggorata · 07/02/2023 00:15

Yes, I act normally in front of my adult children, which includes swearing.
None of us would ever have sworn in front of my parents, however, devout Christian upright pillars of the community, who would have been mortified.

I think my parents might have sensed this was a strain because we all used to get sent out for a walk in the woods next door after lunch when we visited. We would all then let rip with the most dreadful swearing and profanity and having got it out of our systems, would return demurely to the house.
The DC were quite young at the time, but we were a bit sweary and we had to make it the rule for them to only swear in front of us.

BuggersMuddle · 07/02/2023 00:22

I am the adult child in this scenario, but yes I swear. It tends to be fairly mild though: mum gets uncomfortable at about 'fuck', although would nod on in agreement were I referring to certain politicians as 'a bunch of stupid bastards' or similar. I'd get a 'BuggersMuddle.....?' were I to utter the word 'cunt', which is otherwise pretty acceptable for Scots of my generation (context dependent of course).

user1471453601 · 07/02/2023 00:31

Ffs, I'm in my 70s my only child is in her 50s. We both swear, when we think the situation calls for it. It's only words.

I'd never, for example, say, someone should be killed. But I would say someone is afucking prick. We are both grown ups, we've discussed the use of language and it's ability to hurt and/or offend, or worse.

If we think, even with little evidence that swearing would hurt/offend someone, we might think they are foolish, but we would still respect their opinion by not swearing when they were present.

TheOriginalEmu · 07/02/2023 00:40

No I wouldn’t tell them off, I don’t tell my teens off either. I’m of the opinion that swear words are just words. I’m more concerned about things like calling people stupid, or ugly. Those words are banned in my house.

TheOriginalEmu · 07/02/2023 00:40

user1471453601 · 07/02/2023 00:31

Ffs, I'm in my 70s my only child is in her 50s. We both swear, when we think the situation calls for it. It's only words.

I'd never, for example, say, someone should be killed. But I would say someone is afucking prick. We are both grown ups, we've discussed the use of language and it's ability to hurt and/or offend, or worse.

If we think, even with little evidence that swearing would hurt/offend someone, we might think they are foolish, but we would still respect their opinion by not swearing when they were present.

Well said.

Bepis · 07/02/2023 00:43

Nope. I don't swear at all in front of anyone and definitely not my adult children. I don't expect them to swear in front of me either.

lemmein · 07/02/2023 00:47

I swear in front of my parents - my adult kids never swear in front of me though, not that I've ever told them not to, they just don't. I know they've both got potty mouths though so I'm assuming they're filtering hard when I'm around Grin

Enko · 07/02/2023 00:48

Occasionally mostly joking. We are not a "where the fuck is my fucking coat" kinda family. But I have told and been told ohh f off after a particularly bad joke. Always said with a smile and laughter.

I never swear if I am angry.

Snozzlemaid · 07/02/2023 00:50

I don't swear in front of my dm but do around my adult dcs. My ds rarely swears but dd does sometimes. Actually I'm probably the worst at home out of all of us.

LostInTheColonies · 07/02/2023 01:46

I've always tried to limit myself t mild swearing in front of my parents. However, after DM (83) dropping the f-bomb at Xmas time I may have a rethink 🤣 'Shit' was previously the strongest word I'd heard her use.

jtaeapa · 07/02/2023 01:50

I have 2 teens and an elderly mum. All of us
swear in conversation, every day. I like swearing. It can be cathartic.

Delectable · 07/02/2023 01:53

We don't swear anywhere. At home, with parents, children, colleagues, friends noone.

Ponderingwindow · 07/02/2023 01:56

I swear with my non-adult child. I imagine that won’t change when she becomes an adult. Nothing major and not often, but everyone in the household, regardless of age has always been free to use any word they choose. We believe in choosing the best word in every situation. Most of the time that means encouraging a diverse non-swearing vocabulary, but in certain contexts, a swear word can be particularly effective.

We simply explained that society applies certain connotations to particular words and using them in certain situations like at school or a funeral would is unacceptable.

journeyofinsanity · 07/02/2023 01:57

Im amazed how many people are outraged by swearing. 'Oh ffs' when something breaks or goes wrong = totally normal in our house as it 'bloody hell' and 'what a fucking nightmare'. No one feels in the slightest offended or disrespected.

journeyofinsanity · 07/02/2023 02:00

I have noticed in life that the mist vehement non swearers tend to be seethers, self righteous, judgemental types. Closely related to card carrying Christians. The ones who spout the bible but demonstrate the least Christian values. I'd rather be surrounded by jolly swearers any day

hailer · 07/02/2023 02:20

I swear with my kids in conversation. But none of us swear in front of my mum or grandad.